teen addicted to adhd medication
i’m a very fortunate and privileged teenager who has never been given a reason to make these decisions or go down this path. i have been diagnosed with autism, depression ( chronic), severe panic disorder, ocd, adhd, and dyslexia dysgraphia and dyscalculia. i was prescribed adhd medication May 2025. i was very cautious about it and i grew up being paranoid about becoming a addicted, clearly i had every reason to be! i would only take it for school and i would always take atleast one day off the medication. but slowly i think i became more reliant on it than before, i stopped having days off but still never using above my dose. i was prescribed a higher dosage and i had that much, and very quickly i started having more. it was small at first but it completely derailed my life and mental state. i became very depressed and very ashamed but i also felt i could fix the addiction by taking more. i started getting better grades, losing weight, making more friends, and being more likeable. but i lost my relationship with my mother, and that is what really made it harder. i was disgusted by my actions and the pain i was causing her after all my life she’s been my biggest supporter and my best friend. i was eventually caught. i promised to stop and that i would never do it again, but very quickly i went back to it, i don’t know why but i did. i am so ashamed of myself for it. i was caught again, my mother was distraught and i was too. i went through the whole process of withdrawing and mania and then i got better. it took 4 days the longest days of my life but i did it! i was so proud of myself and i was healing from it and the mistakes i made and also healing my relationships, with my mum and my friends who i pushed away doing it. i am unable to do school without the medication and i was going to be completely uninvolved with the medication, mom would give me one in the morning i would study, and i would get another every 4 hours. my mum made me go to bed at night and she’d lock the door that had the medication. i was getting so good, i went 12 days on my prescribed dose, but it was slowly starting to get higher and higher until it hit my maximum dose. i was able to go 3-7 hours on one pill. now i am not trying to make excuses for my decisions because its always a choice to do it and i always choose to hurt myself and the people who love me, for a reason i am not able to find. i am desperate to do better and to stop relapsing, i can do it i just don’t know how. also my mom wants to trust me so she slowly started letting me have my medicine not all of it but a daily dose, and id take more than half and have nothing else to get through the day so i found the hiding spots that she always used for my christmas present when i was younger. and took more. its not obvious ive been taking it because i was taking a much lower dose for the majority of the time ive had it. i will be happy with any advice or anything i just need to get better