u/PoeCollector64

The division over whether the tomato was poisoned by being too organic or not organic enough especially gets me. People will really fight about anything on this app

Hai frens is me Storm. Mine Meowmy has akwired a magic warms, dat is so warmer den a reggler warms an is always nice an toasty wenever yu want to yuse it. I do nawt kno were she gotted dis powwerful magic item. A catto wud shurely hav to find it on de black market. CRAZEEEST part doe, she no share it wit us! How can she hab such wondrus ting so purrfect fur cattos an not share wit cattos in kweschun? Can soo?

um hai is me Sprinkles i kno we say "go crimez" heer but todae i accidently did a crimez an i tink it was pretty bad i tryna cuddle wit Meowmy an i put my paw on hers face an my claws poke out an hurted hers eye an she screm it wuz kinda skery halp am i goin to jale

Hai frens is me Storm. Frens dis a berry seereus sichyuashun! Yesterdae Meowmy's bestest fren come to our house. Sprinkles so scare as usual, hide in closet all nite. I fine, I do a little hidehidehide at firs but den I come out for pets bcuz two hoomans to gib pets is better den one.

But den Meowmy fren NO LEAB! It get to be dark time wen Sprinkles an me supposed to run zoomies an relax on couch, but weirdest fing happen—DA COUCH GREW A SLEEPY SQUARE! WAT SORCERY IS DIS! Wud be so comfy if I cud sleep on new magic sleepy square but Meowmy fren sleep dere. All nite!

An she still dere wen dark time over! Meowmy hab to bring Sprinkles him breakfast in closet, him so upsetti. Frens how long is introoder gonna stay in house?? Wat to do??

Grate news frens! After bein a part ob dis communitee fur long time, I wanna gib sumthin back fur all da halp I get heer. So I finally convinse my brudder Sprinkles to go into biznis wit me! He say is all gud as long as he jus do paperwork an no hab to argyoo cases in cort. But I happee to BAPBAPBAP de opposin counsel, so dat is my job! I tink we make a grate team. Tell us if yoo need halps frens!

Hai frens is me Storm. Need pawyer advise! Our Meowmy did us an abandon, me an my brudder Sprinkles wuz so sad all alone essept wen Meowmy's hooman brudder came to say hai an gib us fud.

Ob course doin an abandon is groundz for pawsuit, but here is kweschun: two furevers ago, Meowmy say "Bye Storm, bye Sprinkles, see you in four days!" I fink one day is same as one furever, rite? Anywae, iz only two furevers ago she say dat, but she already camed home! (Dis me doin a sniff an a lick todae.)

Wat to do, pawyers? Soo fur abandon wit redoosed sentense or wat?

Hai frens is me Storm. Meowmy was playin her stoopid computer game again tonite so wen she standed up from beenbag chair I jump on it rite away an make my self so comfy. Meowmy say "Aw man, Storm, I want to keep playing but you look so cozy." Is gud crimez. Any pawyers who kno how to soo for mor time in beenbag chair?

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