u/PomegranateMother135

In need of some advice and can’t ask family about it yet. I also don’t have any divorced friends to ask.

My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for 2. We have a 5 & 3 year old. Both work full time - I earn a good wage but he earns double / is the bread winner. I’m 29 and he is 35.

We have had problems for a long time. He is what I would call verbally abusive - belittles me, has called me every name under the sun, makes comments at everything, nothing is ever good enough (i do something and he makes comment, I don’t do it and he still comments). We have a cycle where he will say something / make comments, I will react, we get into an argument, I shutdown and we don’t talk and then when one of us approaches the subject we talk, he says he will get better and he does for a little bit but then we go back to the start. Pretty much every month.

Although he is crappy in the emotional field, he is a provider and is a good dad. Shares the household duties equally - if not he does more around the house. We also parent well most of the time. I also came from a divorced family, and it was not a nice divorce and something I never thought I’d have to put my children through.

We are very different people, like different things, very independent etc. and always have been. We have done couples therapy which did nothing to help. I see and individual psych and he was too but only did 2 sessions.

We are just about to start building our dream home, in our dream suburb, where our kids can go to an amazing school. I’m much more financially stable, staying in the marriage although if we were to divorce I would get a good split - even at 50/50 of everything (I bought in a lot of inheritance too and have always worked full time apart from being off while having the kids).

I also developed a condition called vestibular migraines 18 months ago which has caused a lot of health anxiety. When I developed them I was on the brink of asking for a divorce and partly think the stress of that years / years before with our marriage were what triggered the migraines in the first place.

I hold a lot of resentment towards my husband for the things he has called me / how he has treated me / and the constant “I’ll work on it, but still hasn’t changed”. I also resent myself more for staying and getting into the position I am today.

My question is - have any of you left a “dream” life because you were unhappy? Did any of you leave while dealing with chronic illness or anxiety? How did you go? Were you happier / know you made the right choice once you got through it? How did your kids cope? Any advice would be welcomed.

Thank you!

In need of some advice and can’t ask family about it yet. I also don’t have any divorced friends to ask.

My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for 2. We have a 5 & 3 year old. Both work full time - I earn a good wage but he earns double / is the bread winner. I’m 29 and he is 35.

We have had problems for a long time. He is what I would call verbally abusive - belittles me, has called me every name under the sun, makes comments at everything, nothing is ever good enough (i do something and he makes comment, I don’t do it and he still comments). We have a cycle where he will say something / make comments, I will react, we get into an argument, I shutdown and we don’t talk and then when one of us approaches the subject we talk, he says he will get better and he does for a little bit but then we go back to the start. Pretty much every month.

Although he is crappy in the emotional field, he is a provider and is a good dad. Shares the household duties equally - if not he does more around the house. We also parent well most of the time. I also came from a divorced family, and it was not a nice divorce and something I never thought I’d have to put my children through.

We are very different people, like different things, very independent etc. and always have been. We have done couples therapy which did nothing to help. I see and individual psych and he was too but only did 2 sessions.

We are just about to start building our dream home, in our dream suburb, where our kids can go to an amazing school. I’m much more financially stable, staying in the marriage although if we were to divorce I would get a good split - even at 50/50 of everything (I bought in a lot of inheritance too and have always worked full time apart from being off while having the kids).

I also developed a condition called vestibular migraines 18 months ago which has caused a lot of health anxiety. When I developed them I was on the brink of asking for a divorce and partly think the stress of that years / years before with our marriage were what triggered the migraines in the first place.

I hold a lot of resentment towards my husband for the things he has called me / how he has treated me / and the constant “I’ll work on it, but still hasn’t changed”. I also resent myself more for staying and getting into the position I am today.

My question is - have any of you left a “dream” life because you were unhappy? Did any of you leave while dealing with chronic illness or anxiety? How did you go? Were you happier / know you made the right choice once you got through it? How did your kids cope? Any advice would be welcomed.

Thank you!

In need of some advice and can’t ask family about it yet. I also don’t have any divorced friends to ask.

My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for 2. We have a 5 & 3 year old. Both work full time - I earn a good wage but he earns double / is the bread winner. I’m 29 and he is 35.

We have had problems for a long time. He is what I would call verbally abusive - belittles me, has called me every name under the sun, makes comments at everything, nothing is ever good enough (i do something and he makes comment, I don’t do it and he still comments). We have a cycle where he will say something / make comments, I will react, we get into an argument, I shutdown and we don’t talk and then when one of us approaches the subject we talk, he says he will get better and he does for a little bit but then we go back to the start. Pretty much every month.

Although he is crappy in the emotional field, he is a provider and is a good dad. Shares the household duties equally - if not he does more around the house. We also parent well most of the time. I also came from a divorced family, and it was not a nice divorce and something I never thought I’d have to put my children through.

We are very different people, like different things, very independent etc. and always have been. We have done couples therapy which did nothing to help. I see and individual psych and he was too but only did 2 sessions.

We are just about to start building our dream home, in our dream suburb, where our kids can go to an amazing school. I’m much more financially stable, staying in the marriage although if we were to divorce I would get a good split - even at 50/50 of everything (I bought in a lot of inheritance too and have always worked full time apart from being off while having the kids).

I also developed a condition called vestibular migraines 18 months ago which has caused a lot of health anxiety. When I developed them I was on the brink of asking for a divorce and partly think the stress of that years / years before with our marriage were what triggered the migraines in the first place.

I hold a lot of resentment towards my husband for the things he has called me / how he has treated me / and the constant “I’ll work on it, but still hasn’t changed”. I also resent myself more for staying and getting into the position I am today.

My question is - have any of you left a “dream” life because you were unhappy? Did any of you leave while dealing with chronic illness or anxiety? How did you go? Were you happier / know you made the right choice once you got through it? How did your kids cope? Any advice would be welcomed.

Thank you!