u/Practical-Math3255

I'm nice, I've noticed people like my sweet voice and nice girl persona. But other than that I can't keep people interested in me because I'm nice.

I tried being pretty and nice, and sure, people want to approach me, but after some time I become boring because I'm "nice".

I've tried being interesting by partying a lot, but now I just have friends when they're drunk.

I don't care about them, but I still want them around. Being smart doesn't increase my status either. What am I doing wrong?

Oh also I hate complimenting others because they never compliment back. I'm Attention hungry, need constant validation but I mask my needs pretty well.

hi so I'm a young adult, and usually my blood is clotty, this time tho, ever since I've started working out, my blood is thinner like water.

Not asking for medical advice btw, if that's against the rules, just asking for a possible explanation as it's going to take a few days before I go to my gynecologist

I always knew that my parents would never allow me to go abroad for an undergraduate degree. I was caught in shock when, in my senior year of high school my dad said that I should apply to universities abroad.

I genuinely couldn't believe my ears, and I started sending applications. I got into a very good and prestigious university. Then the problem was with the finances, my parents couldn't afford to pay for my tuition, so I started searching for scholarships.

Y'all know how hard it is to find a scholarship for undergrad. Anyway, shoot my shot applied, the scholarship is covering my tuition and giving me a stipend.

Guess what.? My dad said going abroad for a BBA isn't worth it, and it has no real value 🤦🏼‍♀️

As someone who wants to become an accountant in EU countries, I HAVE to get a BBA and I'll be prepping for the countries qualifying exams along with my BBA.

OH AND, he still wants me to give MORE exams so I can study in my own country instead for BBA (I thought BBA degrees have no value 🤦🏼‍♀️)

Studying in my own country would cost MORE than going abroad because I have an almost full scholarship.

Wish me luck y'all

this problem isn't as bad as it once was, but it seems I've never gotten rid of it.

A bit of context here, my CPTSD comes from EXTREME isolation when I was a child. I was severely isolated by classmates, friends, and bullied (by teachers also)

I didn't have proper socialization till my last two years in school ( and even in that "socialization" I was made fun of, gossiped about)

This isolation left me with extremely low self esteem, and I developed a habit of constantly seeking approval from parents, teachers, authority figures, and people that "hated me".

The moment someone showed clear dislike or hatred towards me, I would start being extremely nice to them, following them like a dog, doing things for them till they liked me.

This made them always lose even more respect for me, and they hated me even more. This led to me being used a lot, and I've since then developed paranoia.

Just when I thought I'd gotten rid of this habit, I kept having dreams of friends that disrespected me, and in those dreams I'm having s*x with the people that hated me, and that finally makes them "like" me.

I'm extremely disturbed by these dreams, especially because that friend was awful to me.

so the guy in question is the guy I used to hate quite a bit, that was until I had a crush on him, and then he started dating someone else, and I started hating him again.

Then, I don't know how, we become friends, and then best friends, till I cut him off because he violated a LOT of my boundaries and disrespected me.

Look i DON'T like this dude AT ALL. I mean it when I say he crossed a LOT of boundaries. But I've had ATLEAST 7-8 dreams where we're doing inappropriate stuff and being in a very happy fulfilling relationship.

We're holding hands and cuddling, and his hand just feels so warm and cosy and I don't want to let go (in the dream)

When I wake up I'm disgusted. I'll never forgive him In real life and we haven't talked in months. It's really weird.

Also the "crush" I had wasn't one sided. HOW DO I STOP THESE STUPID DREAMS.

that's not all by the way.

Another recurring dream I'm having is about a childhood friend who ALSO disrespected me & my boundaries and I KEEP having dreams of us being REALLY good friends again and holding hands.

Okay, before you judge me, I'm a straight A student. But I wasn't like that always. I've had depression for 6 years now, in y9 and y10 I could maintain my grades but in y11 I folded to the pressure and couldn't give a fuck about grades anymore.

In y12 I finally got my shit together and got into a high ranked university (top 5) the thing is I couldn't give a less fuck that my university is prestigious.

The night life there is SICK, the city is GORGEOUS, the people are NICE, and you know why I was able to get my shit together in y12? Socialising. I want a party life not because I can drink, do drugs and smoke, but because being around people actually makes me want to live.

I don't even like alcohol and I HATE the smell of smoke, I have enough self control to stay away from that shit.

For now my plan in just get a few As and a few Bs nothing below that, and not stress about academics so much and just enjoy university. Make lots of friends and join societies.

I think it will take at least a year of just socialising to get my depression under control and once I start Y2 Ill start actually studying WITH motivation.

I know when I'll tell people I'm going to uni "just to party" a LOT will judge me but honestly they don't know what I've had to deal with the past 6 years. I had no support and honestly isolated myself from everyone. I finally know what helps me manage my depression. And it's socialising.

I guess honestly I'm posting this to get some reassurance, after being judged because I want to go to university "just to party" but please be nice in the comments.

EDIT: thank you so much for the support. I feel much less insecure now. I plan on getting professional help soon when I start uni for my depression. I also don't want to completely stop caring about grades and plan on graduating with a 2:1 or 1:1. Thanks again! Lots of love 💕

Okay, before you judge me, I'm a straight A student. But I wasn't like that always. I've had depression for 6 years now, in y9 and y10 I could maintain my grades but in y11 I folded to the pressure and couldn't give a fuck about grades anymore.

In y12 I finally got my shit together and got into a high ranked university (top 5 in my country) the thing is I couldn't give a less fuck that my university is prestigious.

The night life there is SICK, the city is GORGEOUS, the people are NICE, and you know why I was able to get my shit together in y12? Socialising. I want a party life not because I can drink, do drugs and smoke, but because being around people actually makes me want to live.

I don't even like alcohol and I HATE the smell of smoke, I have enough self control to stay away from that shit.

For now my plan in just get a few As and a few Bs nothing below that, and not stress about academics so much and just enjoy university. Make lots of friends and join societies.

I think it will take at least a year of just socialising to get my depression under control and once I start Y2 Ill start actually studying WITH motivation.

I know when I'll tell people I'm going to uni "just to party" a LOT will judge me but honestly they don't know what I've had to deal with the past 6 years. I had no support and honestly isolated myself from everyone. I finally know what helps me manage my depression. And it's socialising.

I guess honestly I'm posting this to get some reassurance, after being judged because I want to go to university "just to party" but please be nice in the comments.

My excuse for using my phone starts with "work". My part time job is as a digital artist, and I spend a few hours marketing, drawing and talking to potential clients.

One things leads to another and BOOM. 15 hours screen time.

My eyes really hurt. My head hurts. I have brain fog... I don't have social media but I just spend hours watching my favourite tv shows or scrolling on reddit/pinterest under the excuse "I'm looking for inspiration for marketing".

I'm so sick of it. It's one addiction after the other. I also have a shopping addiction. I'm recovering from a food disorder and sugar addiction. I'm just hopping from one addiction to another.