u/PracticalMatter4004

I’ve known my best friend since high school, and we’re now in our 40s. We like to go away together for 2–3 days at a time, usually sharing a hotel room. It’s something I’ve always really enjoyed.

However, I’ve noticed over the last few years that I’ve become more sensitive to one particular aspect of our friendship: her celebrity hyperfixations.

A couple of years ago, a week after my dad passed away, she was deeply hyperfixated on a celebrity and, while we were in a hotel together, was constantly showing me things on her phone and sharing updates about them. At the time, I was barely holding it together after losing my dad a week earlier, and eventually I had to ask her to stop. But that was a unique circumstance because of the timing of my dad having recently passed away.

Recently, though, we got together for dinner and she was talking about a TV show we both like and the two stars of the show. I asked her how many times she’d watched the series, and she said, “I don’t think you’ll believe me.” I told her to try me. Her answer was 25 times.

Honestly, I was a little blown away. We both have kids, and somehow she has found the time to do that, which is kind of impressive.

The issue isn’t really how much she watches something. It’s that she seems unable to stop talking about whichever celebrity or show she’s focused on at the moment. Conversations often circle back to it, and there’s a lot of showing me things on her phone.

A few months ago, I quit ig and TikTok completely. Since then, she’s started sending me screen recordings of things she finds on social media, including content related to the celebrity she’s currently interested in.

I’ve noticed that my patience for this is getting pretty thin at this stage of my life. She has ADHD, is very self-aware, is in therapy, and has coping mechanisms she uses successfully in many areas of her life. She also has rejection sensitivity, so I want to be thoughtful and not hurt her feelings.

At the same time, I want to set a healthy boundary so I can continue enjoying the friendship rather than quietly becoming resentful.

What kind of language would you use to say, “I care about you, but I don’t really want to spend a significant portion of our time together talking about celebrities or watching social media clips”?

I’ve known my best friend since high school, and we’re now in our 40s. We like to go away together for 2–3 days at a time, usually sharing a hotel room. It’s something I’ve always really enjoyed.

However, I’ve noticed over the last few years that I’ve become more sensitive to one particular aspect of our friendship: her celebrity hyperfixations.

A couple of years ago, a week after my dad passed away, she was deeply hyperfixated on a celebrity and, while we were in a hotel together, was constantly showing me things on her phone and sharing updates about them. At the time, I was barely holding it together after losing my dad a week earlier, and eventually I had to ask her to stop. But that was a unique circumstance because of the timing of my dad having recently passed away.

Recently, though, we got together for dinner and she was talking about a TV show we both like and the two stars of the show. I asked her how many times she’d watched the series, and she said, “I don’t think you’ll believe me.” I told her to try me. Her answer was 25 times.

Honestly, I was a little blown away. We both have kids, and somehow she has found the time to do that, which is kind of impressive.

The issue isn’t really how much she watches something. It’s that she seems unable to stop talking about whichever celebrity or show she’s focused on at the moment. Conversations often circle back to it, and there’s a lot of showing me things on her phone.

A few months ago, I quit ig and TikTok completely. Since then, she’s started sending me screen recordings of things she finds on social media, including content related to the celebrity she’s currently interested in.

I’ve noticed that my patience for this is getting pretty thin at this stage of my life. She has ADHD, is very self-aware, is in therapy, and has coping mechanisms she uses successfully in many areas of her life. She also has rejection sensitivity, so I want to be thoughtful and not hurt her feelings.

At the same time, I want to set a healthy boundary so I can continue enjoying the friendship rather than quietly becoming resentful.

What kind of language would you use to say, “I care about you, but I don’t really want to spend a significant portion of our time together talking about celebrities or watching social media clips”?

I’m 42, a single mom in the Bay Area, and I’m having what feels like a very real career identity crisis.

I’ve spent about 20 years building a pretty successful career in creative leadership. I lead teams. I present to execs. I mentor younger creatives. I run shoots. I navigate politics. I build decks. I know how to walk into a room and pitch and present. I’m good at what I do.

But if I’m being really honest… I’m scared.

The AI push inside corporate creative right now feels relentless. It is not like “hey use these tools where it makes sense.” It feels more like “train these tools so we can lay you off asap”.

There is constant talk about efficiency, automation, agents, ideal workflows, minimal headcount… and I cannot shake the feeling that I’m working in an industry that is slowly going to need fewer and fewer humans.

I’ve already been laid off twice in my career. The last job search took me a long time and honestly shook me.

I’m fortunate in that I have some stability. I’m not drowning. I have housing security. I have family support. So I’m in this weird position where if I wanted to make a big pivot while I’m still relatively young… I actually could.

And I keep thinking about healthcare, Specifically nursing.
Even more specifically… end of life care.

When my dad was dying, I was at his bedside, and I will never forget who felt safe in that room and who felt absolutely callous and clueless. That experience really stayed with me and it blew my mind that the owner of a hospice center could make people feel so uncared for.

And I think about how even in my job now, people who report to me come to me when they are scared. About layoffs, AI, life stuff, confidence. And over and over people tell me I make them feel calm and safe. I remain close friends with several people I’ve managed in the past.

And it’s making me wonder… is that gift supposed to live somewhere else for the next 20 years of my life?

I have a bachelor’s degree from a UC school in something totally unrelated. I’m terrified of being a beginner, anatomy, labs, cadavers, taking a pay cut, finding out romanticized healthcare.

My two best friends are veteran nurses and don’t think I’m crazy.

But I’m honestly also terrified of doing nothing and watching white collar work become more unstable over the next decade.

Has anyone here made the jump from tech, corporate, design, marketing, finance, consulting, whatever… into Nursing in your 40s or 50s?

Especially if you went into Hospice Nursing or Palliative Care Nursing.

What surprised you?

What did you underestimate?

Do you regret it?