u/Practical_Artist7668

I feel frustrated towards myself because I've recently came to the realization that I struggle a lot with social interactions.

For context, my childhood best friend that I'll call Kiwi for privacy reasons, has been out of my region for years. We saw each other twice in about 8 years, once a year ago and recently a few days ago.

I was supposed to go sleep at her house since it'd been a long time since we saw each other. She arrived in the afternoon around 1pm. Before she was there, I was very nervous for some reason, but when she arrived I was happy and excited to know about what her life was now.

At around 4pm, I began to feel tired, socially tired if that even makes sense. For more context, all of my friends moved away so I've been kind of alone for those years, not to mention I barely go outside.

I felt really bad but I knew I wouldn't be able to spend a night there. She was very nice and understanding about it but I feel shitty because I do this very often in my daily life: getting exhausted by interactions.

I've heard this term so many times and I can't understand it. I know that there are steps to getting into a relationship but what ticks me off is that people will have multiple situationships.

Why are we treating dating like it's a choice? I will stand by the fact that you don't decide who you love, so why are we picking multiple people to test the waters?

I don't know, it just seems odd to me. You're not in couple but you're also seeing multiple people to see 'who's the right one'... Maybe you're just not ready for a relationship? Which is okay if you don't want something serious, but I find it pitiful for those part of the situationship list, waiting to be picked or not...

Hello, for context I'm going on the list of assessment for the second time, the first time it was too far from where I live and we had financial issues at that moment. My father who has autism has been suspecting it in me for years and I've been doing my own research on the topic.

I'm not sure of how to explain this, but sometimes I simply don't wanna be talked to. I don't want to have to listen to you and especially not answer. At first I thought it was what I call my social battery, that I just wanted time alone, but it's more than that.

It began with irritation, I'd answer roughly or not answer at all, then it started to get me emotional, my eyes getting teary just because I don't wanna talk.

Is there a way I can let the person know that I need to be let alone? I feel bad for being rude, it just gets to me so much.

In a few months it'll be my birthday, and it scares me a lot because when I reach that date, it will have been a year of nothing, of being no one. The word keeps spinning around me but my mind and body just keep follow.

It's as if time was sand, slowly slipping through my fingers and as I try desperately to grasp onto it, more slips.

I barely left my house in 6 months, only a few times to the grocery store with the help of people patient enough to handle my stubborn agoraphobia.
I wanna leave, I'm tired of being afraid.

I remember at 11 years old, the first time I wanted to end it all, how painful I thought living was. As of today I feel like nothing changed, if anything, the pain got heavier to hold.

I keep telling myself: it's gonna get better. Things with get better, they have to, but I'm stuck and I've been for years now.
I've had a tattoo machine for almost a year now, and I've barely used it. Becoming a tattoo artist has always been my dream, but I feel like it's slowly slipping away even if so close.

I have agoraphobia, I haven't been able to go to school in three years and I feel so shameful writing this. I can't even bring myself to get on the bus, and being in the school building feels like time is gonna stop anytime.

I'm tired of being scared, the will is there but my body doesn't follow. I want to go out so bad, I wanna be able to go to the grocery store more than once a month.

I don't know how to explain this feeling, maybe it's just overall exhaustion from life, or some kind of doom that keeps growing each day.

I feel so empty, yet everything's so intense on me. There's a lot of things I used to love, now I can barely get myself to get out of bed to eat. Not that I'm hungry, I feel nauseous at everything that goes in.

I don't want to feel like this forever, but it's been 6 years. Can I get one peaceful day?

A few days ago I went to a party, it was my friends birthday. I made her a painting and a hand made card, they both took me a lot of time. I was really excited for the party, and I feel like the excitement of waiting for the day was better than the actual party.

I'm grateful to have spent time with my friends, I had a good time with their company, but it was a harsh reminder of how different my life was from other people my age.

They had jobs, some even got their own apartment... I've been stuck for 6 months doing absolutely nothing but feeling doom.

I hate how at some time I'm so productive and at other times I can't even make it out of bed.

I have maladaptive daydreaming, so I often find myself making scenarios, but I'm not sure if I might be manic recently or if it's just more intense maladaptive daydreaming.

During my day, I 'interact' with some of the characters in my head, it happens quite a few times, I'd say at least 2 hours a day minimum? I'm afraid I might by burying myself in my thoughts instead of feeling what I have to, but they listen.
I haven't left my house more than 10 times in approximately 6 months, I feel stuck sometimes, like time has stopped in my lifetime but not anyone else's.