I am Terrified! Military divorce
Hi I am (Male) currently 28 years old in the army and scared to hell that I will lose just about everything I have sweated and bled for.
My wife and I have been married for 7 years with 1 child soon to be 5.
I love my wife I love my family but god I can’t do it anymore. For the past few years it feels like I have been raising 2 kids and it beyond frustrating.
My wife is a good mom and try’s her best to be a good wife too me but it’s overshadowed often by the burdens she’s placed on me continuously threw the years(not my daughter I LOVE my daughter).
Currently live in Washington state
What my days of marriage has looked like since the beginning:
1.Cleaning after her slobbish behavior even before a child, when I say slobbish I mean attracting nats and fly kind of slobbish
Why it bothers me: Because I come from a poor but neat family and I clean after myself because that’s what someone who cares about there living conditions should do. But has no problem inviting people while I scramble to clean after her so I don’t get embarrassed.
2.Consistently trying too sabotage me threw irresponsible purchases or irresponsible decisions without a thought for consequence.
Why it bothers me: because at times it even involves my career in which keeps our daughter fed and provisioned for including my wife. While I think twice because it can affect them.
- Doesn’t know anything despite having far more education than me. But some how I need to teach her the basics of being an adult. Driving,financing,budgeting,child care,cooking.
Why it bothers me: because it feels like I’m the only adult in our home and it worries me while at work knowing my daughter is alone with someone with the same competence of a 12 year old. Too the point I sneak off work to drive home and check on our daughter
4.Makes living hard financially. I can budget a sustainable amount of money for us to still have fun/go out and insure our child is taken care of and she will want to spontaneously buy whatever whenever even when it puts us short until the next pay check.
Why it bothers me: I care about the sustainability of our family as I am drivin by pragmatism while she about fun and wants first driven by emotion.
5.still keep consistent contact with a ex “ as friends”
Why this bothers me: even if she is loyal it the principle and lack of respect for our marriage
That is my big reasons.
Ik there are things she can probably say about me but this is my perspective.
1.We have tried counseling= same problems regardless
2.when she get jobs it’s the hours that pay less then $700 a check and doesn’t bother to save
Asset situation:
Me- $106,000(includes savings,investments)
$3,2000 a month check from job
Her- $I have no idea since I guess her money is hers and my money is ours.
. We do not have any accounts or loans etc jointly I was firm of that when we first got married
. She does not know that I am thinking of divorce
Please help me I know I sound like a hole but I swear that I’m a decent person that just wants too be somewhat happy without the intermittent thought of ending myself.
Is there anything I can do for my assist?
What am I likely to lose?
Should I stay for my daughter?
And advice?
I don’t know what too do at all.
Thank you and have a great day