“If I was being assaulted, you’re too scrawny to be able to do anything to stop them” she said.
I heard this from four years ago from a very abusive ex. I thought she was just saying shit to be as mean as possible, cause thats who she was.
But its true. My coworkers told me something similar. I made some lady friends at work and was going to go out with them. Making plans was going great until one of them said “Yknow… we may need a dude thats a bit more intimidating. I don’t feel like OP could do much if shit goes bad.”
This fucking crushed me and I cant believe Im crying over it. Its true. I am weak. Im underweight, I flinch if anyone even touches me, and I shake uncontrollably in any kind of confrontation. Ive never been a fighter.
I want to be strong. I want women to feel like they can be protected around me. It sucks knowing that the one thing a man is biologically made for, I cant fucking do. I know that if shit goes down, I would protect my friends/partner with my life. But I wouldnt be able to do shit, just be fodder.
Idk dudes. It just sucks. I felt so emasculated. I never gave a shit about being masculine. Like I never gave a shit about being strong or whatever. I never wanted to go into boxing or any kind of defense sport cause like I said, I flinch just from the smallest of touches.
I just feel like im losing myself. Am I even worthy of love if Im this fucking weak? No, not from what Ive been told and what Ive seen recently. So yeah. I gotta lock in and hit the gym until my hands bleed and im shaking from it.
Im a considerate dude, whos funny, who tries to make everyone around him feel better about themselves, who does a good job at work, cares for his pets, cleans. But I guess none of that matters.
Man I sound like such a redpill incel. Fuck. I need to lock in.
