u/Previous-Fall-2288

I am a 15-year-old girl, and I honestly don't know how much more I can handle.

A lot of bad things have happened throughout my life, and I feel like every single one of them changed me. Sometimes when people talk about their childhood memories, I realize that I don't really have many happy memories of my own.

My parents have been extremely toxic and strict for as long as I can remember. As I grew older, things only got worse. I was constantly compared to other children and made to feel like I wasn't good enough. If I made mistakes, I was often screamed at, insulted, and sometimes physically punished. There were times when my mother beat me with a belt. Over time, I stopped feeling safe at home.

School wasn't much better. I was bullied by classmates, hurt by people I trusted, and sometimes treated unfairly by teachers. I struggled with friendships and often felt alone.

One of the most disturbing experiences of my childhood happened when I was in 4th grade and preparing for the JNV entrance exam. I attended a coaching center where the principal behaved inappropriately toward me. He touched me in ways that made me feel uncomfortable and unsafe. At the time, I was too young to fully understand what was happening. I felt ashamed, scared, and confused, so I never told anyone.

Because of everything that was happening in my life, I became very quiet. I kept everything inside and never talked about my feelings. I felt like there was nobody I could trust.

Later, when I was in 6th and 7th grade, I met a girl who became one of my closest friends. She had hearing difficulties, and many students ignored her or refused to talk to her. I started talking to her, and eventually we became very close.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like someone understood me. She made me feel less alone.

One day, on my birthday, we made plans to go to school together. She came to meet me wearing her uniform but without her school bag. She told me that her mother had hidden it because she didn't want her to go out. We still spent time together, had fun, and then went to school.

Things became complicated after that. Complaints were made, and my friend was already struggling emotionally and mentally. I became very worried about her. I remember crying and begging my mother to let her come inside our house because I was concerned about her.

Instead of understanding the situation, my family became angry. I was blamed for things that were happening around me. One day, while I was at school, my mother called me and told me to come home immediately. She said things that terrified me and made me feel like I had done something terrible.

Around that time, I didn't even want to go home anymore. Being with my friend felt safer than being with my own family.

When my father found out where I was, he came and took me back home. After that, I was beaten severely, insulted, called horrible names, and punished for spending time with her.

For nearly three weeks, I wasn't allowed to go to school or leave the house. I was isolated and forced to stay in a room while doing household work.

Eventually, during 8th and 9th grade, I was forced to leave that friendship behind. Losing her hurt deeply. I tried to move on and forget everything, but I never really could.

Even now, all of these experiences continue to affect me. The bullying, the abuse, the fear, the loneliness, the constant pressure from my parents, and the things that happened during my childhood changed the way I see myself and the world around me.

I am not a perfect student. I am probably average in most things. But more than anything, I want freedom. I want peace. I want to feel safe. I want a chance to live without constantly feeling afraid, judged, controlled, or broken.

I often feel extremely lonely and overwhelmed. Sometimes I feel like nobody truly understands what I have been through. I have kept most of this inside for years.

I am sharing this because I don't want to carry it alone anymore.

If anyone has advice, support, or has gone through something similar, I would really appreciate hearing from you.

Save Nicobar — India's treasure is being sold | Rahul Gandhi

161 km² of India's most pristine rainforest, 1.5 crore trees, and tribes who have lived here for millennia — all for a port we were never asked about. Watch the film. Read the documents. Sign the petition.

https://rahulgandhi.in/nicobar-matters