u/Previous_Subject6286

When visiting Arlington National Cemetery Memorial this weekend you can easily locate male servicemembers graves and history on it’s website but not female veterans and notable minority service members .

so I had a whole post and a throwaway but it didn't work because I had to close my phone quickly when they got home. I think I need professional help but I don't even know where to start because I'm so paranoid. I hate that the solution that everybody has is to just communicate, but what do you do when the communication faculties of the person you're communicating with are so completely broken and manipulative?

I'm losing respect for myself for putting up with this. I know that my friends and family can only put up with so much complaining.

sometimes it feels really Petty, but then I realize that it's his petty behavior that's really making it as bad as it is. I guess I'm not entirely blameless because I've put up my own walls. But I at least have attempted to fix things, myself, communication, etc. It has just turned into eggshells.

I don't even need to ask like is this normal because I know it's not.

I don't even care about posting on my regular account either. it's not like he's even interested enough to care. the only thing he really cares about is the gratification that he gets from me trying to please him. when I stop "trying" to please him, I become public enemy number one.

like right now I'm paranoid that he's listening somehow or like I'm stressed because I only have an hour while they're at soccer, No time away feels like enough time away.

I know that he doesn't want to be here. but the way that he frames it is that he doesn't feel wanted.

I am not interested in making him feel more wanted here, because all that leaves me is burnout and feeling unappreciated, nervous that I'll say or do something to upset him, and constantly emotionally regulating my confused kid who just wants dad to pay attention or act interested. I literally can't win.

For the last 24 hours I've just been in a complete freeze-out where my husband does not say goodbye to me when he leaves and he doesn't say a single word to me when we're at home... here's how f****** stupid and Petty this s*** is... yesterday was Mother's Day. We went out to eat and of course brought our kid and I had to mind them the whole time because of course they didn't want to be there and they didn't want to eat anything at this restaurant that my husband chose... it wasn't great but at least my husband enjoyed himself 😑

anyway, he wanted to stop at the grocery store, we're sitting in the parking lot or getting gas or something and he just like says something silly to nobody in particular like I don't know and I didn't say anything but he looked at me and then he looked at our kid and said "mommy thinks I'm stupid."

and that comment triggered me because I would never say that esp in front of my kid. and I don't want my kid to say that kind of stuff and that's like manipulative right? This is a very small thing but it happens ALL THE TIME. and then his immediate response when he sees I'm annoyed, he knows I actually didn't say anything at all, what he does is to ask for a kiss. I rejected the kiss this time. I said no. and then he just shut down and flipped a switch. he hasn't spoken to me directly since. He's obviously mad, but like, he can't take any accountability? of course I wouldn't be allowed to be that mad about it, about anything really. everything is a joke to him when he hurts my feelings but entitled to a full 24-hour silent treatment? I don't fucking know , how do I get out of this without getting into a completely manipulative argument.