u/Pristine-Basket7991

So basically, I (F22) have a boyfriend (M20).

A bit of background: I come from a relatively well-off, religious, and close-knit family. We’re very family-oriented and always have gatherings with relatives. My boyfriend, on the other hand, mostly only has his siblings around and they’ve struggled financially growing up.

We’ve been together for 20 months now.

During those 20 months, we’ve had a lot of petty fights. We’re also together almost all the time because we’re classmates and have the exact same schedule, so we’re always at school together or at my apartment. Because of that, I slowly lost most of my social life, but I learned to accept it since he was always there for me.

On normal days, he’s a good boyfriend. But during arguments, he tends to raise his voice, cuss, and say hurtful things. He’s also not very expressive. He rarely compliments me, while I’m the kind of person who likes words of affirmation regularly.

Another thing is finances. He usually doesn’t carry cash, so most of the time I pay first for our food and he transfers the money afterward. He also doesn’t have a car, so when we go out we usually take taxis/Ubers, which I also often end up paying for first. We split bills most of the time except on special occasions where he pays. Sometimes, I feel like I’m the one taking the more “provider” role in the relationship.

Recently, there’s this guy I ended up sitting beside in one of my classes. He’s a year older than I am. We talked a bit, and for some reason he stuck in my head. He was kind and funny. I found out that he came from a good background, but what stood out to me most was how good his relationship seemed to be with his family. He also seemed very responsible, provider-minded, and God-fearing.

He tried following me on Instagram multiple times, but I kept declining because I’m in a relationship. Still, I found myself thinking about him because I assumed he might like me, especially since I seemed to be the only girl in class he tried to follow.

Now I keep thinking about the “what ifs.”
What if the other guy can treat me better? What if this, what if that blabla… I think I’ve just been overthinking the future a lot lately, because whoever I choose to be with is someone I could end up building a life and family with someday.

So…

What would be the best thing to do in this situation?

TL;DR: I’ve been with my boyfriend for 20 months, but our relationship has issues with arguments, emotional fulfillment, and finances. Recently, I met another guy who seems to have qualities I value in a man, and now I can’t stop thinking about the “what ifs.” I feel guilty and conflicted and don’t know what the right thing to do is.

So basically, I (F22) have a boyfriend (M20).

A bit of background: I come from a relatively well-off, religious, and close-knit family. We’re very family-oriented and always have gatherings with relatives. My boyfriend, on the other hand, mostly only has his siblings around and they’ve struggled financially growing up.

We’ve been together for 20 months now.

During those 20 months, we’ve had a lot of petty fights. We’re also together almost all the time because we’re classmates and have the exact same schedule, so we’re always at school together or at my apartment. Because of that, I slowly lost most of my social life, but I learned to accept it since he was always there for me.

On normal days, he’s a good boyfriend. But during arguments, he tends to raise his voice, cuss, and say hurtful things. He’s also not very expressive. He rarely compliments me, while I’m the kind of person who likes words of affirmation regularly.

Another thing is finances. He usually doesn’t carry cash, so most of the time I pay first for our food and he transfers the money afterward. He also doesn’t have a car, so when we go out we usually take taxis/Ubers, which I also often end up paying for first. We split bills most of the time except on special occasions where he pays. Sometimes, I feel like I’m the one taking the more “provider” role in the relationship.

Recently, there’s this guy I ended up sitting beside in one of my classes. He’s a year older than I am. We talked a bit, and for some reason he stuck in my head. He was kind and funny. I found out that he came from a good background, but what stood out to me most was how good his relationship seemed to be with his family. He also seemed very responsible, provider-minded, and God-fearing.

He tried following me on Instagram multiple times, but I kept declining because I’m in a relationship. Still, I found myself thinking about him because I assumed he might like me, especially since I seemed to be the only girl in class he tried to follow.

Now I keep thinking about the “what ifs.”
What if the other guy can treat me better? What if this, what if that blabla…

So…

What would be the best thing to do in this situation?

TL;DR: I’ve been with my boyfriend for 20 months, but our relationship has issues with arguments, emotional fulfillment, and finances. Recently, I met another guy who seems to have qualities I value in a man, and now I can’t stop thinking about the “what ifs.” I feel guilty and conflicted and don’t know what the right thing to do is.

So basically, I (F22) have a boyfriend (M20).

A bit of background: I come from a relatively well-off, religious, and close-knit family. We’re very family-oriented and always have gatherings with relatives. My boyfriend, on the other hand, mostly only has his siblings around and they’ve struggled financially growing up.

We’ve been together for 20 months now.

During those 20 months, we’ve had a lot of petty fights. We’re also together almost all the time because we’re classmates and have the exact same schedule, so we’re always at school together or at my apartment. Because of that, I slowly lost most of my social life, but I learned to accept it since he was always there for me.

On normal days, he’s a good boyfriend. But during arguments, he tends to raise his voice, cuss, and say hurtful things. He’s also not very expressive. He rarely compliments me, while I’m the kind of person who likes words of affirmation regularly.

Another thing is finances. He usually doesn’t carry cash, so most of the time I pay first for our food and he transfers the money afterward. He also doesn’t have a car, so when we go out we usually take taxis/Ubers, which I also often end up paying for first. We split bills most of the time except on special occasions where he pays. Sometimes, I feel like I’m the one taking the more “provider” role in the relationship.

Recently, there’s this guy I ended up sitting beside in one of my classes. He’s a year older than I am. We talked a bit, and for some reason he stuck in my head. He was kind and funny. I found out that he came from a good background, but what stood out to me most was how good his relationship seemed to be with his family. He also seemed very responsible, provider-minded, and God-fearing.

He tried following me on Instagram multiple times, but I kept declining because I’m in a relationship. Still, I found myself thinking about him because I assumed he might like me, especially since I seemed to be the only girl in class he tried to follow.

Now I keep thinking about the “what ifs.”
What if the other guy can treat me better? What if this, what if that blabla…

So…

What would be the best thing to do in this situation?

TL;DR: I’ve been with my boyfriend for 20 months, but our relationship has issues with arguments, emotional fulfillment, and finances. Recently, I met another guy who seems to have qualities I value in a man, and now I can’t stop thinking about the “what ifs.” I feel guilty and conflicted and don’t know what the right thing to do is.

So basically, I (F22) have a boyfriend (M20).

A bit of background: I come from a relatively well-off, religious, and close-knit family. We’re very family-oriented and always have gatherings with relatives. My boyfriend, on the other hand, mostly only has his siblings around and they’ve struggled financially growing up.

We’ve been together for 20 months now.

During those 20 months, we’ve had a lot of petty fights. We’re also together almost all the time because we’re classmates and have the exact same schedule, so we’re always at school together or at my apartment. Because of that, I slowly lost most of my social life, but I learned to accept it since he was always there for me.

On normal days, he’s a good boyfriend. But during arguments, he tends to raise his voice, cuss, and say hurtful things. He’s also not very expressive. He rarely compliments me, while I’m the kind of person who likes words of affirmation regularly.

Another thing is finances. He usually doesn’t carry cash, so most of the time I pay first for our food and he transfers the money afterward. He also doesn’t have a car, so when we go out we usually take taxis/Ubers, which I also often end up paying for first. We split bills most of the time except on special occasions where he pays. Sometimes, I feel like I’m the one taking the more “provider” role in the relationship.

Recently, there’s this guy I ended up sitting beside in one of my classes. He’s a year older than I am. We talked a bit, and for some reason he stuck in my head. He was kind and funny. I found out that he came from a good background, but what stood out to me most was how good his relationship seemed to be with his family. He also seemed very responsible, provider-minded, and God-fearing.

He tried following me on Instagram multiple times, but I kept declining because I’m in a relationship. Still, I found myself thinking about him because I assumed he might like me, especially since I seemed to be the only girl in class he tried to follow.

Now I keep thinking about the “what ifs.”

I feel guilty because I’m technically not doing anything wrong, but emotionally I feel conflicted. Part of me wonders if these thoughts are happening because my current relationship is no longer fulfilling me emotionally, or if I’m just idealizing someone I barely know.

What would be the best thing to do in this situation?

TL;DR: I’ve been with my boyfriend for 20 months, but our relationship has issues with arguments, emotional fulfillment, and finances. Recently, I met another guy who seems to have qualities I value in a man, and now I can’t stop thinking about the “what ifs.” I feel guilty and conflicted and don’t know what the right thing to do is.