u/Pristine_Present688

I’m 6 weeks postpartum and I was talking to my husband about how I’m insecure about my stomach and it still feels big to me, and he just said “it’s a little big but not too big“ and he talked about how it sticks out now but it’s fine. It just made me feel terrible because I didn’t want to know that he viewed me that way, and to know that it noticeably sticks out. it led to me saying that hurt to hear him say that and that I just wanted him to reassure me and not confirm my insecurities. then he freaked out and got upset saying he never says anything right and that he was just complimenting me by saying that. and I couldn’t really even talk to him because he gets so upset and angry at himself. its hard to have conversations with him About my insecurities because it feels like he always confirms my insecurities. We have lots of issues from his porn use and lying to me in the past, it feels like we will never recover from it. Even though he isn’t watching it anymore, the damage is done and I don’t trust or believe what he says about how I look.

So now this is a constant reoccurring argument we have, that I don’t feel attractive to him at all and I want reassurance but the thing is the reassurance doesn’t help at all. He gets so upset he yells and says he’s just the worst husband ever whenever I try to talk about how I don’t feel like he’s attracted to me. I don’t know how to fix this, everything is good besides I just don’t feel attractive and the trust isn’t there and it causes a lot of problems.

My baby sleeps very well all day and sleeps on her own in her bassinet until around 5pm. Then she Wakes up and stays awake unless we hold her to sleep. I’ve tried waiting until she’s in deep sleep to put her down and she still will wake up a few minutes later or right when I put her down. I swaddle her and that still doesn’t work. I’ve also tried co sleeping by laying her next to me but she still wakes up and gets fussy And doesn’t like just sleeping next me.
but the problem is I have to put her down, I’m all alone and I have only been getting like 2-3 hours of sleep a night the past week and it’s all broken. So I’ve fallen asleep while holding her because that’s the only way she doesn’t cry. it’s very unsafe, but idk what to do, I can’t just let her cry in her bassinet until she falls asleep. but I have to put her down somehow. she eventually will let me put her down usually around 3am-5am and she sleeps and so can I. so I have to hold her from 7:30pm-5am and stay awake. it feels impossible and I cry every night when my husband leaves for work at 7:30pm because I’m terrified of getting through the night alone worried that I might hurt her on accident. also staying up for that long just holding her is mentally and physically exhausting. I feel crazy. is this just something I have to get through and can’t really fix?

my MIL makes excuses to come see my baby, I just had her 12 days ago and I’m exhausted and am sick of visitors, she’s already come over 4 times. and says shes coming this thursday to “drop off food” but then she comes inside and wants to just stare at my baby for a while, and also my FIL came the last few times without even telling us he was coming too. I thought seeing her one time was enough and then they could wait a couple months for me to recover. ugh, maybe I’m overacting because all they do is look at the baby I guess, so it’s not a big deal, I could leave the room but I worry what they might say or do.

it’s just so annoying. my husband doesn’t understand why it matters. Partly I’m annoyed because they’re just not great people and I hate his dad. But yeah, I’m afraid this will be the new normal, his parents coming over multiple times, and there’s no reason for me to say no 😭 I feel like it’s rude to just say no when it’s really not that big of a deal for them to just look at her... my husband did say not right now to when they asked to come over one night, and then they said they’ll come in the morning. They came in the morning when we were sleeping so then they said they’ll come over later in the day and didn’t even ask us what time or if they could. but I just let them come so they can hold her and get it over with. but now that they did, I just want no more visitors. 😩