u/Professional-Stop510

I get extremely attached very quickly, or at least; I start idealizing them. They become the center of my mind/life. Even though the actual relationship isnt always that good. I can think they’re not smart enough, dont get me. But still they’re in my mind like a life line.
They tend not to like me very much because I am too clingy, critical and demanding.
So annoying, cause it always ends in disappointment and I don’t get anything out of therapy this way. I’m just using them as a way to feel better in the moment by idealizing. Not to actually make contact with them and my feelings. I want to, but it feels like I never get to feel safe enough to endure their boundaries and shortcomings. AND al the little disappointments I get during interactions.

I’m wondering if anyone recognises this.
When I really start wanting something from someone emotionally, attention, reassurance, feeling special to them, feeling understood , it becomes unbearable to tolerate not getting it.

, I can become angry, demanding and very critical when the other person doesn’t give me what I so desperately need. I can start devaluing them and thinking I don’t need them anyway.
Afterwards I feel ashamed, because I can see how entitled and unreasonable it sounds. The strange thing is that while I’m in it, my feelings make complete sense to me. It almost feels like: “But I need this so badly, how can you not give it to me?”
Please Tell me I’m not the only One. 😬

Hi everyone,
This is probably a very long shot, but I've been thinking about this ever since and figured Reddit might be the best place to try.

I'm a 27-year-old Danish woman living in Copenhagen, and on 15 July 2026 I met a really kind Dutch cyclist at a bus stop in Val Müstair after we'd both ridden the Stelvio Pass. A thunderstorm rolled in, so we ended up waiting for the bus together.
Unfortunately, we never exchanged names or contact details. I was completely caught up in the moment and somehow forgot to ask.
 
Here's what I remember:
• He's Dutch and I think he lives in Rotterdam or Utrecht.
• He was on a road trip through Italy with a few friends.
• His friends were hiking that day while he was cycling.
• They were staying in either Burgusio or St. Valentin auf der Haide.
• We took the bus together to the train station inMals, and our bikes were transported on a trailer behind the bus.
 
If this sounds like someone you know—or if you're the person I'm looking for—I would love to hear from you. And if anyone has suggestions for other cycling communities or subreddits where this might reach the right person, I'd really appreciate it.

And if you're reading this and would rather remain a happy travel memory, that's completely okay too. I just thought I'd take my chance, because some encounters are hard to forget.

Best wishes from Denmark
Frederikke 🤞🏻