u/ProfessionalFruit550

My husband and I bought our house last year in Aug. We have been together for over 12 years. I put a large down payment and he paid for the closing cost. One of my wishes was to not allow his mom, sister or brother into our home. Unless I change my mind but I don’t see myself any time soon. Let me explain why.

For 12 years and still don’t they don’t accept me. I am Asian and his family is Jamaican. It’s always been a race thing and they expect him to be with a black girl. His mom and sister are besties, they are so toxic and have a trauma bond relationship. They talk so much shit about everybody including their own family members and if you dare disagree you’re looked at as a hater and will plot together how to bring you down. For 12 years I watched his mom favour his older brother and sister over him bc they are always available to do her bitch work. His mom is a widow, his siblings are all single. The mom thinks I took her son away. We were long distance for so long and lived our lives like normal people would and anything we did, we were the topic of everybody’s conversation.

For 12 years, the sister made comments to my husband how I have him on a short leash. (Jealous ass bitch lol) Nobody wants her ugly loser ass so she would make comments about us to him so she can feel better about herself. Same goes for his brother, unfortunately they are close now but for 12 years his brother was also a hating ass bitch. I used to go over to their house when they all lived together and the second I step inside, all 3 of them are around the kitchen island talking about us.

His brother made up a rumour that I’ll never forgive, one day my husband got called into work and I drove 2.5 hrs to see him for the day. So I had nothing to do, their step dad (RIP to him) felt bad so he decided to cook me curry chicken while I was in the living room watching TV. He did NOT come sit with me at all and the second the curry chicken was in the oven and done he went to his room. Well his loser brother walked into the kitchen while he was cooking and told my husband that we were flirting and laughing and wasn’t a good look and it made my husband not trust his step dad.

So I welcomed a baby boy 4 months ago. His family didn’t know till I gave birth. (Yes I’m petty) my husband isn’t really on speaking terms with his mom bc she’s too toxic to deal with and if they do talk all she does it complain about me and say rude comments. He cut off his sister 11 years ago. About a month ago, his brothers (37 yrs and 18 yrs) came down to our city to visit my husband (we live 2.5hrs away). They got a hotel and he spent the day with them, come to find out his older brother who I hate also brought his mom and sister. My husband did not know and they all ambushed him. He was really upset and knew I would be mad.

His mom and older brother demanded to meet our son. They said “are you going to let someone control who sees your son” someone’s as in ME THE MOTHER? Like who the fuck are you?? She’s not even in my husband life like that and she’s demanding to see our son? The bitch even said to take him with JUST them without me to a park and my husband shut that down quick and said there will be an amber alert. I am my son’s primary care taker who is breastfeeding he’s with me 24/7 I wish a bitch would. Even the sister is telling everybody that I won’t let her meet our son. NO SHIT? You don’t even talk to your own brother, my husband?? Does that make sense???

Fast forward now my husband makes comments about how his family can’t come into our home. One day he says they don’t deserve to come here especially his sister and mom. But then says he feels bad for his mom bc she’s getting older (60 yrs) and recently got diabetes. My mom recently got heart surgery so she can’t help me with our baby. Life has been so hard being a new mom and my husband low key suggests for his family to come and help. NO THANKS! I don’t want them to come near me or my son. Their energy is so draining even typing this out is making my soul hurt. And then I bring up how those were my wishes, he agreed before we bought our house that they were not welcomed into our home and now that he’s close with his brother he gets angry that I won’t change my mind…

I also want to add that for 10 years I spent every holiday with his family, can you imagine being the outsider and being in the next room while they talk about you? They made it so obvious to always exclude me and talk about us that I had enough. I grew a back bone and now it’s my turn to be petty I don’t give a shit anymore. But then the empath in me feels bad for my husband.. They had 12 years to get to know me and have a relationship with me and now they want to try to come into our life bc we had a baby? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Adding this one after I saw some comments: my husband has stuck up for me for 12 years to his mom and his mom literally has resentment towards him bc she feels she comes before anybody else. In the beginning of the year, he cut her off completely bc she wouldn’t stop talking shit about me and said I’m not welcomed in her city let alone home and he had enough. Unfortunately they reconnected recently bc his brother guilt tripped him and he showed up to her ugly birthday dinner. They don’t really talk now but he also made it clear he won’t cut her off. He low key has a soft spot for her.

Update: I can confirm it is a race thing, but not just that. When his step dad was alive (he was the only one who supported us) he told us that his mom doesn’t like asians. His mom’s neighbours (left side, right side and the people in front) are Asian and she hates them. When his grandma was alive she asked my husband in front of a lot of family members “what’s wrong with black girl” bc his mom makes it her mission to talk about our relationship to every single person in her life. She’s so toxic that everybody she knew didn’t like me bc she didn’t approve of me. But that’s not all, she doesn’t want any of her kids to be in relationships. The second you’re in one the mom will try to break it up. I can type for days and even write a book.

His brother dated so many random people and the second he told his mom, his mom stayed silent. She didn’t like that her other son’s attention was elsewhere. My husband also agreed that his family ambushing him and demanding to see our son is wrong. It was wrong bc he JUST reconnected with her after 7 months of not talking and they came to our city knowing shit wasn’t good. He’s still mad that his brother didn’t tell him he was bringing them and was conniving on his part. But what makes him feel guilty is all of them texting him saying he’s not a family man and how he’s not a good son. Bc he put up boundaries that they disagree. He says it’s difficult to deal with them when there’s also extended family calling him/texting getting involved.

A lot of you are pointing out me being petty and my attitude. I stayed silent our whole relationship, never once did I confront them. My husband’s wish was to never go low and stoop their level so I honoured that. You know how hard it is to not say anything? I want to tell them all how much of losers they are especially his mom. But I won’t. Maybe one day I’ll blow up on them and speak my truth. Yeah I am a little immature but I’m also human. Even when I knew they were talking about me in the next room, I still talked to them like everything was good. I always gave gifts to his mom, hugged her. Asked if she’s ok, it was never reciprocated back. I knew she was never going to accept me so I stopped coming around. She is mad I stood my ground and won’t let her in anymore. Call me petty idc. His half sister who is on his dad’s side likes me a lot. His real dad likes me and supports us and knows exactly who his ex wife is and his daughter. They also give him a hard time and talk mad shit about him and his wife bc he remarried.

Hello all, I had an ex best friend of 10 years. I live in Canada she lived in India but now lives in Dubai. Let’s call her Ashley. She came to Canada often for months bc her sister lives here. Her sister, let’s call her Tasha, was going through psychosis so she took off a lot of time to be here for her. I was with tasha lot bc she was also my friend but also Ashley expected me to be there for her since I was her only friend.

Ashley met this girl on a friendship app, we all hung out in a girl group at each other houses. Like a total of 6-7 girls. One of the girls she met, let’s call her Lou. It was obvious she didn’t like me. When we would play games she would be looking at me weird like dirty looks. Mind you Ashley has only known Lou for 4 months at this point and I was Ashley’s longer friend. I have no clue what I did to this girl but her vibe was off and she barely spoke to me. That night I dropped off Ashley and Tasha and we talked a bit in their home. Tasha agreed that Lou kept looking at me weird and even when I was talking she would give me dirty looks. Ashley said I’m being dramatic. Then fast forward to Christmas Eve, Lou invited everybody over. Our friend group but me. I didn’t even know till Ashley sent me a Snapchat of her dressed up and I asked where she’s going and she said to Lou’s Christmas party and that she invited her mom and Tasha. I felt left out and a bit sad at the time but whatever. Ashley should have known that was confirmation that she didn’t like me.

Then fast forward Ashley went back to Dubai bc she was moving at the time for a month and came back to Canada. I picked her up from the bus station and agreed we would hang out the next day. Well, the day we were supposed to hang out she didn’t message me. She sent me a Snapchat of her once again dressed up…I asked where she’s going and she told me she’s going out with Lou with Tasha and that she’s meeting Lou’s new bf. Honestly I felt so left out already and the fact that we made plans to hang out and she ditched me for her new friend. So I ignored her, this was a Saturday and she messaged me on weds that week asking if we can go for a walk. As if we didn’t make plans on that Saturday?? I ignored her. She messaged me again and didn’t reply. Then she deleted me off Snapchat and that was the end of our friendship.

Months later, Tasha posted a pic of her, Ashley and Lou and another girl at a restaurant on her Snapchat story and I laughed. I know tasha didn’t post that on purpose I know Ashley did. Bc Tasha barely used Snapchat let alone post pics on her story it was obvious Ashley posted it bc she knew id see it.

But what hurt me so much was how I felt used, how I was there for Tasha when she was going through psychosis. I did Ashley a favour by helping her sister when she wasn’t here. Another thing I wanted to add was I introduced 2 girls to our friend group and those girls were invited to everything BUT me even though those were my friends! So fast forward now I don’t talk to any of them. I’m doing a lot better now, I bought a house with my husband. Have a 4 month old. And I know those bitches are all fighting to get PR (not from Canada) while my ass was born here lol. I know that’s petty to say but I don’t give a shit I did so much for these bitches and now it’s a bit lonely I don’t really have friends I see like that anymore.. This was a long time ago and every couple months it some how replays in my head how these bitches did me wrong. All for a bitch that she knew for 4 months vs a 10 year friendship..

Ok I need some advice, I don’t have a relationship with my MIL or SIL. The SIL I’ve never had a conversation with her ever, in 12 years since I been with my husband. She is the most drama filled, entitled brat I’ve ever met. Not only does she not have a relationship with my husband, she has tried to break us up many times and caused so much stress and drama in our relationship. She has made comments to my husband saying he’s so whipped and on a short leash all because we been together for so long all while she’s never had a boyfriend ever. No one can stand her, her only friend is the mom and both of them are toxic together. She never had any intention on getting to know me. My husband cut her off over 11 years ago. Now the MIL is a different story. She also doesn’t like me because I’m not black. They are Jamaican and I am Asian. She never accepted our relationship and never is happy for her son. I won’t get into it with her because it’s long. We bought our house a year ago and I got pregnant 2 weeks after moving in. We welcomed our son who turned 4 months today. They didn’t know I was pregnant till I gave birth. We kept it a secret so they don’t try any evil shit on me. Well a month ago, they came to our city which is 2.5 hrs away and demanded to see our son. My husband didn’t know they were here, he was supposed to only meet up with his brothers till they ambushed him. Both the mom and sister ganged up on him saying “are you going to let someone control who sees your son” my husband is so weak, he has balls to stick up to anybody but them. Now the sister is telling everybody and their mama I’m controlling who can’t see our son, like why do you want to see him when you don’t even speak to me let alone YOUR BROTHER? My husband is saying I don’t understand their culture, said black people don’t play about babies. OK AND? The way I see it is, you don’t like me then you don’t like my son because he’s half of me. Anyways this has been on my mind, I know my husband wants his mom to meet our son but also knows she’s a hating ass B who is not happy for him. He cut her off beginning of the year because she wouldn’t stop talking shit about me, she’s mad he moved out and can’t do stuff for her anymore. (Drive her, do the lawn, gardening, house stuff etc) she feels she lost her son, even though she has 2 other sons. I stopped coming around years ago because I grew a back bone and stopped taking disrespect from them now they want to get angry I won’t let them have access to me. Or our new life. Any advice?

Long rant I’m so sorry Hello all, I am new here so bear with me. I just want to rant because I am so fed up with my mother in law. I do not have a relationship with her. Or her family. I have been with my partner for 12 years and till this day she has never tried to get to know me, welcome me into her home or tried to support our relationship. She has a sick fetish with wanting her kids to be alone bc she’s alone, she’s a widow and even when she was married to his stepdad she has been always possessive of her kids. Especially her 2 sons (one which is my man) and she has a problem when any of them get into a relationship. She’s made me feel like I don’t belong, I have showed up to every function, every holiday and she still talked about me in the next room with her sisters, her daughter and friends. Till I had enough. She kept disrespecting me so I put me foot down and didn’t show up anymore. The last time was when I said hi to her in her home and she turned her back on me and gave me a dirty look. My partner stuck up for me and she got offended that he spoke up. She said she doesn’t have to say hi in her home lol. So I didn’t come around so that made her and my partner’s relationship messy. He had tried to talk to her throughout the years and she doesn’t say anything. Btw we were long distance for so long till we bought a house and he moved to where I live which is 2 hrs and 30 mins from where he lived with his mom. He didn’t tell her till a week before we were moving in together. It’s been a year we have lived together and we welcomed a baby boy he’s officially 3 months. So here is where shit started again: his mom and him got into an argument about me back in Feb. she kept talking crap about me, also complaining why he doesn’t come visit her. Why he doesn’t come help her with shit!?! It’s about her her her. She’s mad he is living his life without her help. (She bought a condo for his brother but didn’t help my man with shit on purpose). For Christmas we went to visit his dad then later on at night he went to see his mom. I stayed in the car bc 1. I’m pregnant and didn’t want anybody to know and 2. She’s a bitch and I’m done with her bullshit. So the fight she had on the phone with my partner also involved that, she’s complaining why I didn’t come inside her home. She said I’m not welcome in her city and if I want to stay in a car again he can drop me off at Tim Hortons she said it in such a rude tone and he got mad. Told her to stop talking about me and she wouldn’t stop. Now fast forward today, he finally broke silence and went to her 60th birthday 3 weeks ago. The invitation was through his loser brother who I also don’t like. My partner showed up and everybody acted like everything was normal. Now they found out we had a baby till after I gave birth bc his loud mouth brother told everybody even though we wanted to keep it a secret for a while. His mom has the audacity to expect for him to bring OUR SON! To her birthday dinner and not me!? I was not invited! Excuse me he was 2 months at the time, my own partner can’t handle him when he cries what business does a 2 month old have being as a restaurant with loud ass noise? Anyways, he left and we went home the next day. Here is where i just really had enough of their audacity. His brothers planned to come down here for the weekend. 38M and 17M. Btw I didn’t know any of this till today this morning. they showed up to their hotel yesterday and my partner went to their room. Well come to find out his mom and sister also is there too. He didn’t know and he was ambushed. Asked why did they come…why didn’t his older brother tell him? Said they wanted to make it a family trip. KNOWING HIS MOM & SISTER DOESNT LIKE ME! KNOWING THEY CAUSED SO MUCH STRESS AND CRAP IN OUR RELATIONSHIP!? WHY THE FUCK ARE U HERE? My partner told me he didn’t want to cause any fights so he just dealt with it. Said it’s his mom at the end of the day. Yeah ok. I also don’t like his brother bc he’s a mamas boy and has said and done shit to us but I wont get into it just know he’s a snake. Two faced loser. So they were walking around downtown and his mom and brother are asking about our son. When do they get to meet him? Said “are you going to let someone control who can see your son” EXCUSE ME SOMEONE? AS IN ME THE MOTHER? What pisses me off is he JUST saw her 3 weeks ago at her birthday dinner, he barely talked to her and they didn’t talk since. There was no apology or no talk about their last conversation about how she kept disrespecting me but wants to jump to now and meet OUR SON without hashing out the obvious? They also suggested for him to take our son from our home without my knowledge, even though I am his primary care taker and breastfeeding. You don’t understand how fucking angry I was hearing this. He said he absolutely is not going to do that, it’s only 3 months old and can’t stay outside for long he gets uncomfortable in car seats and needs constant naps. He also cries a lot so being in public doesn’t last long. So my partner also didn’t tell me till today so he was keeping it a secret when it was convenient for him. We were fighting about this all day…this is why he moved here to get away from drama and whenever it involves his mom somehow it ends up being my fault. He told me I need to let shit go and stop being petty. Idc I gave her so many chances till I grew up and put my foot down. Everybody in their life lets his mom and sister get away with their toxicity and lack of respect and I won’t. And all of this happened because his older brother kept it quiet and didn’t tell him they were coming, KNOWING it was going to start shit. KNOWING it was going to get us upset. My partner told him you can’t just bring them here and act like everything is okay then try to meet our son. The way I look at it is you don’t like me? Cool you have no business being in my son’s life, when he’s half of me. And what’s also making me so upset about this all is my partner has been in a bad mood all day and is now saying this is my fault. Said now his family has another reason to talk about me to everybody because his mom calls every single person she knows about drama because she doesn’t have a life. 12 years together and didnt give a fuck till we have a baby and wants access to our baby. The fucking audacity of this bitch. So while I’m typing this in bed my man is on the couch. And everybody wonders why he left his city. I need them to stay the fuck away. Any advice? lol