u/Professional_Fly371

My fiancé and I are stuck between three wedding venue options, and we'd love advice from people who have been through something similar.

Our priorities are:
• Joyful, family-oriented wedding
• Intentional/intimate atmosphere
• Staying financially responsible
• Having money left for a great honeymoon. Our parents are giving us 15k for our wedding 

Option 1: Vineyard
- ~$12k total
- Sunday wedding end of June
- Beautiful vineyard venue
- 85 guest limit (our ideal guest list is around 100)
- About 1 hour away from most guests

Pros:
- Most affordable
- Beautiful reception space
- Better rain plan
- Leaves more money for our honeymoon
- More time between my nursing school graduation and the wedding

Cons:
- We'd have to cut about 15 people we'd otherwise love to invite
- Sunday + longer drive makes me worry people will leave early.
- Food is good but not amazing.

Option 2: Upgraded Vineyard
- ~$19k total
- Same venue and date
- Unlimited guests
- Better catering
- Same distance and Sunday wedding

Pros:
- We could invite everyone.
- Same beautiful venue.

Cons:
- Around $7,000 more expensive.
- Still far away and still on a Sunday.
- Not sure enough extra people would actually attend to justify the cost.

Option 3: Local Golf Course
- ~$14.5k total
- Saturday (Juneteenth) or Sunday (Father's Day)
- About 100 guests
- Better food
- Much more local
- Beautiful gazebo ceremony site

Pros:
- Invite everyone.
- Better food.
- More convenient for guests.
- Easier venue to work with.

Cons:
- Only one week after I graduate nursing school.
- slightly more expensive then smaller vineyard wedding
- Rain plan is a tent instead of an indoor backup.
- Alcohol is more expensive.
- Slightly less private since it's on a golf course.

A few questions:

1. ⁠More people or bigger honeymoon? Why?
2. ⁠Do you think a Sunday wedding that's an hour away is a bigger issue than I'm making it out to be?
3. ⁠Is getting married so soon after graduation a huge issue?
4. ⁠If you were me, which would you choose and why?
5. ⁠Is there anything I'm not considering?

I'd especially love to hear from people who have been married and either regretted spending more than planned—or regretted not inviting more people.

My fiancé and I are stuck between three wedding venue options, and we'd love advice from people who have been through something similar.

Our priorities are:
• Joyful, family-oriented wedding
• Intentional/intimate atmosphere
• Staying financially responsible
• Having money left for a great honeymoon. Our parents are giving us 15k for our wedding 

Option 1: Vineyard
- ~$12k total
- Sunday wedding end of June
- Beautiful vineyard venue
- 85 guest limit (our ideal guest list is around 100)
- About 1 hour away from most guests

Pros:
- Most affordable
- Beautiful reception space
- Better rain plan
- Leaves more money for our honeymoon
- More time between my nursing school graduation and the wedding

Cons:
- We'd have to cut about 15 people we'd otherwise love to invite
- Sunday + longer drive makes me worry people will leave early.
- Food is good but not amazing.

Option 2: Upgraded Vineyard
- ~$19k total
- Same venue and date
- Unlimited guests
- Better catering
- Same distance and Sunday wedding

Pros:
- We could invite everyone.
- Same beautiful venue.

Cons:
- Around $7,000 more expensive.
- Still far away and still on a Sunday.
- Not sure enough extra people would actually attend to justify the cost.

Option 3: Local Golf Course
- ~$14.5k total
- Saturday (Juneteenth) or Sunday (Father's Day)
- About 100 guests
- Better food
- Much more local
- Beautiful gazebo ceremony site

Pros:
- Invite everyone.
- Better food.
- More convenient for guests.
- Easier venue to work with.

Cons:
- Only one week after I graduate nursing school.
- slightly more expensive then smaller vineyard wedding
- Rain plan is a tent instead of an indoor backup.
- Alcohol is more expensive.
- Slightly less private since it's on a golf course.

A few questions:

1. More people or bigger honeymoon? Why?
2. Do you think a Sunday wedding that's an hour away is a bigger issue than I'm making it out to be?
3. Is getting married so soon after graduation a huge issue?
4. If you were me, which would you choose and why?
5. Is there anything I'm not considering?

I'd especially love to hear from people who have been married and either regretted spending more than planned—or regretted not inviting more people.

My fiancé and I are stuck between three wedding venue options, and we'd love advice from people who have been through something similar.

Our priorities are:
• Joyful, family-oriented wedding
• Intentional/intimate atmosphere
• Staying financially responsible
• Having money left for a great honeymoon. Our parents are giving us 15k for our wedding 

Option 1: Vineyard
- ~$12k total
- Sunday wedding end of June
- Beautiful vineyard venue
- 85 guest limit (our ideal guest list is around 100)
- About 1 hour away from most guests

Pros:
- Most affordable
- Beautiful reception space
- Better rain plan
- Leaves more money for our honeymoon
- More time between my nursing school graduation and the wedding

Cons:
- We'd have to cut about 15 people we'd otherwise love to invite
- Sunday + longer drive makes me worry people will leave early.
- Food is good but not amazing.

Option 2: Upgraded Vineyard
- ~$19k total
- Same venue and date
- Unlimited guests
- Better catering
- Same distance and Sunday wedding

Pros:
- We could invite everyone.
- Same beautiful venue.

Cons:
- Around $7,000 more expensive.
- Still far away and still on a Sunday.
- Not sure enough extra people would actually attend to justify the cost.

Option 3: Local Golf Course
- ~$14.5k total
- Saturday (Juneteenth) or Sunday (Father's Day)
- About 100 guests
- Better food
- Much more local
- Beautiful gazebo ceremony site

Pros:
- Invite everyone.
- Better food.
- More convenient for guests.
- Easier venue to work with.

Cons:
- Only one week after I graduate nursing school.
- slightly more expensive then smaller vineyard wedding
- Rain plan is a tent instead of an indoor backup.
- Alcohol is more expensive.
- Slightly less private since it's on a golf course.

A few questions:

1. More people or bigger honeymoon? Why?
2. Do you think a Sunday wedding that's an hour away is a bigger issue than I'm making it out to be?
3. Is getting married so soon after graduation a huge issue?
4. If you were me, which would you choose and why?
5. Is there anything I'm not considering?

I'd especially love to hear from people who have been married and either regretted spending more than planned—or regretted not inviting more people.

My fiancé and I are stuck between three wedding venue options, and we'd love advice from people who have been through something similar.

Our priorities are:
• Joyful, family-oriented wedding
• Intentional/intimate atmosphere
• Staying financially responsible
• Having money left for a great honeymoon. Our parents are giving us 15k for our wedding 

Option 1: Vineyard
- ~$12k total
- Sunday wedding end of June
- Beautiful vineyard venue
- 85 guest limit (our ideal guest list is around 100)
- About 1 hour away from most guests

Pros:
- Most affordable
- Beautiful reception space
- Better rain plan
- Leaves more money for our honeymoon
- More time between my nursing school graduation and the wedding

Cons:
- We'd have to cut about 15 people we'd otherwise love to invite
- Sunday + longer drive makes me worry people will leave early.
- Food is good but not amazing.

Option 2: Upgraded Vineyard
- ~$19k total
- Same venue and date
- Unlimited guests
- Better catering
- Same distance and Sunday wedding

Pros:
- We could invite everyone.
- Same beautiful venue.

Cons:
- Around $7,000 more expensive.
- Still far away and still on a Sunday.
- Not sure enough extra people would actually attend to justify the cost.

Option 3: Local Golf Course
- ~$14.5k total
- Saturday (Juneteenth) or Sunday (Father's Day)
- About 100 guests
- Better food
- Much more local
- Beautiful gazebo ceremony site

Pros:
- Invite everyone.
- Better food.
- More convenient for guests.
- Easier venue to work with.

Cons:
- Only one week after I graduate nursing school.
- slightly more expensive then smaller vineyard wedding
- Rain plan is a tent instead of an indoor backup.
- Alcohol is more expensive.
- Slightly less private since it's on a golf course.

A few questions:
1. More people or bigger honeymoon? Why?
2. Do you think a Sunday wedding that's an hour away is a bigger issue than I'm making it out to be?
3. Is getting married so soon after graduation a huge issue?
4. If you were me, which would you choose and why?
5. Is there anything I'm not considering?

I'd especially love to hear from people who have been married and either regretted spending more than planned—or regretted not inviting more people.

Hi everyone,

June 2027 bride here. When my fiancé and I first started wedding planning, we decided that we wanted an intimate, special, and all around just fun day. We also are fairly young, and trying to stay on a smaller budget. With these factors in mind, we decided to book a wedding package for a Sunday with a max of 85 guests. With this package, we put down a nonrefundable $1800.

However, since booking this wedding, I feel like I have done nothing but overthink. Is 85 guests enough to have fun but feel like a party? Will Sunday be a total buzz kill? If we end earlier to accommodate the Sunday date, the dance floor will be fully light since it's outdoors, and will that ruin the vibe? Basically just been very stressed that we made the wrong decision.

With all of those factors in mind, I'm coming here for help with my wedding. Do we cancel our venue and find another option, that allows for a Saturday wedding and open guest count? Or is there a way to make this wedding still be fun?

Other considerations: our venue is about 45 minutes out of town, we currently have venue access from 1:30-10:30pm. Our guest list is mainly newly post-grad college students and family

Hi everyone,

June 2027 bride here. When my fiancé and I first started wedding planning, we decided that we wanted an intimate, special, and all around just fun day. We also are fairly young, and trying to stay on a smaller budget. With these factors in mind, we decided to book a wedding package for a Sunday with a max of 85 guests. With this package, we put down a nonrefundable $1800.

However, since booking this wedding, I feel like I have done nothing but overthink. Is 85 guests enough to have fun but feel like a party? Will Sunday be a total buzz kill? If we end earlier to accommodate the Sunday date, the dance floor will be fully light since it's outdoors, and will that ruin the vibe? Basically just been very stressed that we made the wrong decision.

With all of those factors in mind, I'm coming here for help with my wedding. Do we cancel our venue and find another option, that allows for a Saturday wedding and open guest count? Or is there a way to make this wedding still be fun?

Other considerations: our venue is about 45 minutes out of town, we currently have venue access from 1:30-10:30pm. Our guest list is mainly newly post-grad college students and family

Hi everyone!

Just curious on some thoughts about a day of coordinator! My venue requires that we have a day-of coordinator, whether it's a friend or a professional.

Originally I was planning to hire a professional day of coordinator, but a mentor of mine was recently unemployed and I was considering asking if she would like to have that role to help her out financially. She also is a bit older than the rest of my guests and doesn't have a plus 1 to bring, so I wonder if giving her this role would help the wedding be more enjoyable for her? She loves organizing and running things!

However, I want my day to go smoothly and be an enjoyable day for my fiancé and I, and I wasn't sure if it's a bad idea to have a friend (who hadn't coordinated a wedding before) to step into that role. Our wedding would be about 85 people and I would have plenty of family to help if needed.

Any thoughts?

Feeling totally lost with determining how many people to invite to our wedding. In your experience, what is the best number of guests to invite to a wedding to have the best experience, while the day is still about you? What approximate guests counts have been the most fun to attend?

Thanks!

Feeling totally lost with determining how many people to invite to our wedding. In your experience, what is the best number of guests to invite to a wedding to have the best experience, while the day is still about you? What approximate guests counts have been the most fun to attend?

Thanks!

Hi everyone,

I was hoping to get some perspective from people who have already had weddings!

My fiancé and I were gifted $15,000 from my parents for our wedding, and anything left over can go toward our honeymoon. I know that’s not a huge wedding budget by today’s standards, but we didn’t have much money growing up, so the fact that my parents are giving us anything at all means so much to me.

With that budget, we’re able to comfortably host an 85-person wedding at a venue we absolutely love. Those 85 guests would be our family and closest friends. We wouldn’t really be inviting more distant friends, coworkers, or acquaintances. When we first started planning, I was excited about staying within budget and potentially having some money left for our honeymoon. I also liked the idea of a wedding that felt intimate and personal rather than so big it doesn't feel like it's about us anymore.

Lately, though, the deeper I’ve gotten into wedding planning and wedding-related social media, the more I’ve started wondering if we’re doing “enough.” Getting married is such a major milestone, and part of me worries that maybe we should spend more, invite more people, and go bigger.

It seems like the weddings I see most often have 100+ guests, and personally I’ve never attended a wedding with fewer than about 120 people. I keep thinking that 10 years from now I probably won’t remember an extra $5,000–$7,000 we spent, but maybe I would remember being happy that we invited more friends and family or overall celebrated "bigger".

I also wonder if people would judge us for having a smaller wedding? Or if our wedding would be less fun or special overall?

At the same time, I know comparison isn’t always helpful, and I do like our venue and our plans.
For context, our wedding will be at a beautiful vineyard, we’re still having a traditional ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, drinks, a DJ, dancing, the only real difference is that the guest list is smaller due to both budget considerations and the venue’s capacity.

I guess I’m looking for advice from people who have been there. Did you ever regret having a smaller wedding? Or did you find that a more intimate wedding felt just as special (or even more special) than a larger one? Any advice on how not to compare or feel insecure?
I’d love to hear your experiences.

Hi everyone,

I was hoping to get some perspective from people who have already had weddings!

My fiancé and I were gifted $15,000 from my parents for our wedding, and anything left over can go toward our honeymoon. I know that’s not a huge wedding budget by today’s standards, but we didn’t have much money growing up, so the fact that my parents are giving us anything at all means so much to me.

With that budget, we’re able to comfortably host an 85-person wedding at a venue we absolutely love. Those 85 guests would be our family and closest friends. We wouldn’t really be inviting more distant friends, coworkers, or acquaintances. When we first started planning, I was excited about staying within budget and potentially having some money left for our honeymoon. I also liked the idea of a wedding that felt intimate and personal rather than so big it doesn't feel like it's about us anymore.

Lately, though, the deeper I’ve gotten into wedding planning and wedding-related social media, the more I’ve started wondering if we’re doing “enough.” Getting married is such a major milestone, and part of me worries that maybe we should spend more, invite more people, and go bigger.

It seems like the weddings I see most often have 100+ guests, and personally I’ve never attended a wedding with fewer than about 120 people. I keep thinking that 10 years from now I probably won’t remember an extra $5,000–$7,000 we spent, but maybe I would remember being happy that we invited more friends and family or overall celebrated "bigger".

I also wonder if people would judge us for having a smaller wedding? Or if our wedding would be less fun or special overall?

At the same time, I know comparison isn’t always helpful, and I do like our venue and our plans.
For context, our wedding will be at a beautiful vineyard, we’re still having a traditional ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, drinks, a DJ, dancing, the only real difference is that the guest list is smaller due to both budget considerations and the venue’s capacity.

I guess I’m looking for advice from people who have been there. Did you ever regret having a smaller wedding? Or did you find that a more intimate wedding felt just as special (or even more special) than a larger one? Any advice on how not to compare or feel insecure?
I’d love to hear your experiences.

My fiancé and I are trying to decide whether to keep our current wedding venue or switch to a larger one.

We booked a venue we absolutely love. It fits our budget well, is beautiful, and includes catering and bar service, which makes planning much simpler. The downside is that it has a strict guest cap of 85 people.

When we first started planning, we thought we’d have a smaller wedding, but after making our guest list we realized we’d need to be very selective with invitations and plus-ones to stay under the cap. We can make 85 work, but it would mean inviting only our closest family and friends and limiting plus-ones.

Our other option is to switch to a larger venue that could accommodate around 110 guests. However, we’d lose our $2,000 deposit on the current venue and likely spend several thousand dollars more overall.

For those who are married or further along in life, what do you think matters more in the long run: having a smaller wedding with your closest people at a venue you love and can comfortably afford, or spending more to accommodate everyone you’d like to invite?

Looking back, do you regret not inviting more people, or do you value keeping costs down and having a more intimate celebration?

My fiancé and I are trying to decide whether to keep our current wedding venue or switch to a larger one.

We booked a venue we absolutely love. It fits our budget well, is beautiful, and includes catering and bar service, which makes planning much simpler. The downside is that it has a strict guest cap of 85 people.

When we first started planning, we thought we’d have a smaller wedding, but after making our guest list we realized we’d need to be very selective with invitations and plus-ones to stay under the cap. We can make 85 work, but it would mean inviting only our closest family and friends and limiting plus-ones.

Our other option is to switch to a larger venue that could accommodate around 110 guests. However, we’d lose our $2,000 deposit on the current venue and likely spend several thousand dollars more overall.

For those who are married or further along in life, what do you think matters more in the long run: having a smaller wedding with your closest people at a venue you love and can comfortably afford, or spending more to accommodate everyone you’d like to invite?

Looking back, do you regret not inviting more people, or do you value keeping costs down and having a more intimate celebration?

My fiancé and I are trying to decide whether to keep our current wedding venue or switch to a larger one.

We booked a venue we absolutely love. It fits our budget well, is beautiful, and includes catering and bar service, which makes planning much simpler. The downside is that it has a strict guest cap of 85 people.

When we first started planning, we thought we’d have a smaller wedding, but after making our guest list we realized we’d need to be very selective with invitations and plus-ones to stay under the cap. We can make 85 work, but it would mean inviting only our closest family and friends and limiting plus-ones.

Our other option is to switch to a larger venue that could accommodate around 110 guests. However, we’d lose our $2,000 deposit on the current venue and likely spend several thousand dollars more overall.

For those who are married or further along in life, what do you think matters more in the long run: having a smaller wedding with your closest people at a venue you love and can comfortably afford, or spending more to accommodate everyone you’d like to invite?

Looking back, do you regret not inviting more people, or do you value keeping costs down and having a more intimate celebration?

My fiancé and I are trying to decide whether to keep our current wedding venue or switch to a larger one.

We booked a venue we absolutely love. It fits our budget well, is beautiful, and includes catering and bar service, which makes planning much simpler. The downside is that it has a strict guest cap of 85 people.

When we first started planning, we thought we’d have a smaller wedding, but after making our guest list we realized we’d need to be very selective with invitations and plus-ones to stay under the cap. We can make 85 work, but it would mean inviting only our closest family and friends and limiting plus-ones.

Our other option is to switch to a larger venue that could accommodate around 110 guests. However, we’d lose our $2,000 deposit on the current venue and likely spend several thousand dollars more overall.

For those who are married or further along in life, what do you think matters more in the long run: having a smaller wedding with your closest people at a venue you love and can comfortably afford, or spending more to accommodate everyone you’d like to invite?

Looking back, do you regret not inviting more people, or do you value keeping costs down and having a more intimate celebration?

Hi everyone! My fiance and I booked a wedding venue that we love, but recently were offered to have our wedding on a friends property instead! We are debating our two options, and I was hoping for some outside input.

After pricing it out, we're estimating both options to be about the same price, so money isn't a huge factor for us. We want to prioritize a fun, intimate, and memorable day!

Backyard wedding:
Pros:
flexibility with timeline (access all weekend)
Flexibility with date (Saturday wedding)
Unlimited guest count (would probably have around 100)
Originally what I had envisioned for our wedding
More personal feeling
Closer (10 minutes away)

Cons:
Having to build the entire venue (rentals, etc)
Not the best rain/sun plan (tent, but not temperature controlled)

Venue wedding:
Pros:
more classy/beautiful without trying
All inclusive, easier to plan
Indoor and outdoor, better weather plan

Cons:
restricted guest count (85 guests, we are inviting only family and close friends, but I'm worried this will make our wedding less fun)
Sunday wedding
Restricted hours (only 9 hours of access)
45 minutes away (further drive)

Hi everyone! My fiance and I booked a wedding venue that we love, but recently were offered to have our wedding on a friends property instead! We are debating our two options, and I was hoping for some outside input.

After pricing it out, we're estimating both options to be about the same price, so money isn't a huge factor for us. We want to prioritize a fun, intimate, and memorable day!

Backyard wedding:
Pros:
flexibility with timeline (access all weekend)
Flexibility with date (Saturday wedding)
Unlimited guest count (would probably have around 100)
Originally what I had envisioned for our wedding
More personal feeling
Closer (10 minutes away)

Cons:
Having to build the entire venue (rentals, etc)
Not the best rain/sun plan (tent, but not temperature controlled)

Venue wedding:
Pros:
more classy/beautiful without trying
All inclusive, easier to plan
Indoor and outdoor, better weather plan

Cons:
restricted guest count (85 guests, we are inviting only family and close friends, but I'm worried this will make our wedding less fun)
Sunday wedding
Restricted hours (only 9 hours of access)
45 minutes away (further drive)

Hi everyone!

This may sound crazy, but I'm considering cancelling my venue rental to host a backyard wedding. I've always dreamed of a backyard wedding, I love how intimate and special they can be and how you get to personalize them.

My fiance and I didn't have anywhere we could do a backyard wedding until recently, and I'm reconsidering the convenience of a venue wedding to pursue my original vision.

On the one hand, our venue wedding will only be about 15k for 85 guests. However, this is only for 9 hours of time on a Sunday, about 45 minutes away from our hometown, and I don't LOVE the venue.

The backyard would be very personalized, but obviously requires more work and will probably be about the same cost. But I love how there is no guest restriction, time restrictions, venue restrictions, or date restrictions.

Does anyone have any thoughts? Can someone talk me into or out of the idea of a backyard wedding?

I’m reconsidering my wedding plans and would love some outside perspective.

We’re getting married in June 2027. Originally, we were planning a pretty traditional wedding—about 85 guests at a vineyard venue. It would cost around $20k and include catering, alcohol, and rentals, so it would be pretty low-stress to plan.

But now I’m considering a different option. My fiancé’s parents have a lot of land, and we could do a smaller backyard-style wedding (around 50 people). It would be much more DIY, but also more personal and intimate with just our closest people.

Some context: my parents are giving us $15k that can go toward the wedding, honeymoon, or just our future in general, so I do want to be thoughtful about how we use that.

For anyone who’s done either (or something in between), what did you choose and do you feel like it was worth it? Any regrets either way?

I’m reconsidering my wedding plans and would love some outside perspective.

We’re getting married in June 2027. Originally, we were planning a pretty traditional wedding—about 85 guests at a vineyard venue. It would cost around $20k and include catering, alcohol, and rentals, so it would be pretty low-stress to plan.

But now I’m considering a different option. My fiancé’s parents have a lot of land, and we could do a smaller backyard-style wedding (around 50 people). It would be much more DIY, but also more personal and intimate with just our closest people.

Some context: my parents are giving us $15k that can go toward the wedding, honeymoon, or just our future in general, so I do want to be thoughtful about how we use that.

For anyone who’s done either (or something in between), what did you choose and do you feel like it was worth it? Any regrets either way?