u/Professional_Loan652

EDIT: I am a recreational basic strategy player. Not an AP.

But that’s basically how it’s been for me as of lately. The variance has just been killing me for the past six months. Once the shoe starts getting really bad, I tend to pessimistically start guessing, out loud, the outcome of the next hand, and I almost always end up being right.

Dealer is showing a 4 and I have a 10? I’m gonna double this and I’m probably going to get a 2 or a 3 and the dealer is gonna draw to 21… I’ve got a 12 against a dealer 10? Watch this, the shoe is gonna sh*t out a 10 and I’m going to bust, and the dealer is going to have a 5 or 6 underneath. Oh, great! I got 2 aces! I’m gonna split them and end up getting a soft 13 on both of them or something like that and the dealer is going to draw to 19 or 20. All right, I’ve got a 17 against a 6, the dealer is probably going to draw to 18.

Just stuff like that. And I almost always end up being right about it in some way. Has anyone else done this, or has experienced this?

The losing streak continues. I have not had a single winning session for the entirety of 2026 so far. Stopped in Reno for the night, got absolutely destroyed at craps. Tried alternating between Pass and DP, no matter what I did, I just got completely wrecked. Go figure. I’m down about $20k for the year at this point and I don’t think it’ll get any better. Friendly dealers though. I just have the worst luck on the entire planet.

I swear, I just cannot catch a break. No matter where I go or what I do I just can’t break this losing streak. Variance is a bitch. $15 minimum busy table, 100x max odds, friendly crew. Not a single person, myself included, could roll more than two numbers before hitting a seven. I switched to playing Darkside, and then the points finally started coming and my lays started getting knocked off. When the dice finally came to me, I switched back to the pass line, I was all in, and go fucking figure, I shat out a PSO.

TL;DR the craps gods absolutely hate my guts as of the past few months.

Every day, even doing simple tasks like getting out of bed, tidying up my room, remembering to brush my teeth, taking a shower, etc, just feels like a chore. Even things I like to do, like photography, flying planes, going on my computer, etc, it feels so disinteresting and lackluster. I just kind of fake going throughout my day. I don’t even genuinely feel happy about things that I SHOULD feel happy about. Honestly, I find myself profusely apologizing for every little thing, even inconsequential things. My opinions don’t matter so long as other people around me are satisfied. But I’ve gained 25lbs, I just want to sit around in bed, and I can’t even be bothered to pick up the phone and schedule a therapy appointment anymore… It doesn’t do shit for me. And I can’t go to a psychiatrist because if I take any kind of mental health medication then that will cause me to lose the ability to fly; the FAA will come after me.

I feel completely, totally lost and broken. I do *NOT* want to end my life, so there’s no way I’m clinically depressed… and I’m not hyperactive either or obsessive-compulsive… quite the opposite, actually… I just want to know what’s wrong with me. I don’t understand. I just want to know what normal feels like but I don’t know how to get there.

Is there any way to fix this??? What is wrong with me?