u/Professional_Mine812

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Our relationship is full of love, we talk, don’t yell, etc. he has many qualities I want in a husband. However I feel stuck. He does not take care of his diabetes or mental health. He has not seen an Endo once. Has had health insurance for months. Rations his insulin because he’s not prepared. I offer to help & sometimes have taken initiative to figure things out. He has several other important life things he’s not addressed for years. He also tells me he doesn’t want to work on his mental health (fair, it’s scary, I have BPD) and I know he won’t until he’s ready. We talk about all of this but seems to go nowhere. Things not taken care of or go unaddressed affects our finances. These are things that occurred before we got together. I don’t know how else to support him and I don’t want this to take over more of our lives than it has already.

I suppose I’m looking for general input. I have a relationship with his family and they know he has lived like this for the last 11 years. I’ve considered reaching out for guidance. We talk about things with positive outcomes but no actual change. I feel scared it won’t ever change.

What would you do?