u/Professional_Toe_915

Hey guys, I'm new here. I believe I need to learn to love myself. Over the years everything has started to feel meaningless. I have things I do, but nothing brings me true enjoyment. I believe I was happy in my last relationship, but that's the only time and I made her unhappy and if I'm the problem I don't want that to happen again. I'm currently dealing with an injury that is limiting my mobility so long walks and significant exercise have been wrote off. Though I do understand exercise can be a significant mood booster. I will also add I am autistic and believe my sensitivity may be relatable to that.

I am currently enrolled in University and deal with a lot of anxiety as I am a 30+ male and the common age gap fills me with some dread. I am going for a 4th year with a 5th year to be had to complete a bachelor of science. The idea of having a degree gives me a sense of hope, but it's been very difficult, my health has caught up to me the past year. I want to do well, but finding people my age that I can connect with hasn't happened and I'm doubtful to find these people.

What can I do to find a sense of happiness for myself? I have my video games, but that only makes me happy when I feel other areas of my life are filled. I believe at my age I should be in a romantic relationship and having a family, I should have a career and a home already.

My thoughts are diet, exercise, music, good grades and whatever social connections I can make. I believe making social connections is going to be a major obstacle (I haven't made any significant connections after 3 years) along with good grades as I will be very busy between school and work.

Any advice is appreciated.

\-Professional\_toe

Hey guys, I'm new here. I'm looking to get help dealing with significant negative self talk. I can remember being a child and being much more disciplined, but over the past 20 or so years I've had constant negative self-talk and put myself down every day. I tell myself off constantly, I'm convinced I'm ugly and stupid and hold no worth. That I'm a pathetic excuse for a human and I deserve no place in this world. I'm also autistic and am very sensitive to critics and tend to view the world through a scope of being in trouble for something all the time so I'm often on edge. How can I find a way to break the self hate?

Any advice is appreciated.

-Professional_toe

Over the past few months my life has gone a bit downhill. I started a job, and the hours were good for a couple weeks and then I injured myself. Workers compensation hasn't been supportive and more than anything they're forcing me back to work while I'm still injured. My job was supposed to be in the meat department at my local grocery store, but it has proven to be more of a tandem between meat and seafood, and I really don't like seafood.... I don't fish, I don't eat crustaceans, trying to get the lobster out of the tank fills me with anxiety. Initially I was turning people down when I was the only one there, but I've tried to get them out of the tank, but my anxiety is too much.

My injury is still an ongoing thing and I haven't received proper support and I fear the Healthcare system in Canada is failing me. I'm going back to my physiotherapist for the first time in almost 3 weeks on Tuesday and I'm planning to explain my concerns. I've been combining Tylenol extra strength and Ibuprofen to help with the pain. I also have Gerd, which has been more of an issue recently (possibly due to stress). As well I moved into a rental room in a woman's house on the 1st and she has opened up about several rules, some are perfectly fine, some are weird. She also didn't address any of the issues that we discussed during our walk through, it really seems she doesn't even want tenants here on a day to day basis.

A couple nights ago I had a evening shift where someone came for lobster and I tried pathetically for 10 minutes to get a lobster out and I couldn't do it. The customer went to get a manager and a young girl (early 20s) came in and asked me about it and I flipped out, I lost my temper. She wound up getting the lobster and I weighed and labeled them. I just received a verbal warning today regarding it. I'm still on workers comp for nearly two months and haven't received any financial compensation though they said the would more than a week ago (my claim was initially denied after 6 weeks) and they've given me a new return to work plan despite my physiotherapist (they claim to have spoken to her, though she told me she couldn't get a response from them) being on vacation that has me basically fully back to work in 3 weeks. To add to my work troubles, my ex works there and I fear I make her uncomfortable though we've been okay. We had an okay break-up. I wouldn't have even applied there, but after 3 months and the only job I could get was deliveries (17/18 bucks a day after expenses) I had to take anything I could get.

My expenses right now are about 2000 a month for rent and my car and groceries, I was also planning to go back to University for a 4th year now (going to need a 5th for an undergrad) in September, but with Workers comp being what it is and my expenses and my injury I don't believe I can go back. I can walk, my issues are more with bending, lifting, etc. I've started combining Tylenol extra strength and Ibuprofen and it's leaving me in a sort of mental fog, though it helps the pain. I also had some family supporting me financially with school, but they've denounced me recently and I don't want their help anymore. I've debated calling it quits on everything you know, but I've been thinking that for about 20 years now on a regular basis and I just think I don't have the guts to pull through. I wish I could be happy, but I think I can only be happy with a good woman, and none of the ones I want ever want me. I don't have high standards, but I want a good looking woman with a job that treats me nicely. I'm in my 30s and I'm sick of life, I'm sick of trying, I just want to go to sleep permanently. Nobody would miss me for long, they'd all move on eventually.

To sum things up, I'm broke, I'm depressed, I don't have supports, I'm in an uncomfortable living situation, single and getting old. I could lose my job and have no income, my body is failing me (or maybe I've failed my body) and I just want to sleep, I'm wondering if I take a bunch of pills would that help me sleep. Nobody cares for me and I don't even care for me sometimes. There's a quote I made up a while back, "When the one person you want to escape, Is the same person you can never escape" that's when life becomes a ruin.

If you have advice let me know, otherwise I appreciate any affirmations you want to give out.

Thanks

\-Professional\_toe

Hey guys, I'm looking to see if anyone has been in my position with workers comp in NS, Canada. I have an ongoing claim from several weeks ago and I've been doing reduced duties at work and even took 2 weeks off some time after my injury at the suggestion of another department manager and a coworker.

I initially reported the injury immediately, but didn't choose to make a report until a couple hours later. I signed off on my injury report, which doubled as a return to work when I made my report. Later that night I experienced significant pain and chose to go to the hospital the next day. I had thought my injury was in one place, but as time told me I figured out it was muscles surrounding the area. Workers comp contacted me later the first week and gave me my numbers and the website and said they'd call back next week. My x-ray from the hospital had yielded nothing and I chose to see my family doctor. My doctor told me it's probably a sprain and to come back in a couple weeks if it doesn't improve, which again doesn't present significant documented evidence.

I began seeing a physiotherapist after a couple weeks and I've had a few appointments and they're going alright. Fast forward to after a few appointments and my therapist asks if I've gotten any communication from my case worker, since he/she hasn't gotten any response. So I messaged through the website and got a call the next day. At this point several weeks have passed and I haven't received any financial support and my case worker is explaining there isn't anything on file to substantiate an injury and that I had signed a return to work the day of my injury, so if work accommodated my injury they wouldn't owe me any compensation.

My concern now is that my bank account is getting into it's caution area and I don't know what to do, and while I've began working reduced shifts recently, if I tell work to forget the injury and I try to return to full duties while I'm still injured I'd be going against what my physiotherapist has told me. If I ask my physiotherapist to punch my ticket through and I get reinjured I'm concerned they could get into trouble. I'm also worried my physiotherapist doesn't get paid and they come after me for payment.

Has anybody else dealt with workers comp and able to give me some advice? Thanks in advance.