AITA for refusing to give my mum money that I was asked to safeguard for a family trip?
My family receives support from a family fund service because of my autistic sister. They gave my mum £300 specifically for a day out for us at Thorpe Park.
My mum has a history of gambling and budgeting problems, She has gambled away her half of the rent many times and had to borrow from family members. so after the money came in her and my Dad actually asked me to hold onto it because I’m “not supposed to give her any if she asks.” The first time the fund paid the money to her directly, she spent it and said it was for bills, but when I checked her bank (she gave me access to monitor spending) there were many gambling transactions. My dad later got some back pay and replaced the £300, and this time it was given straight to me to keep safe for the trip.
Today my mum asked me for £90 from the Thorpe Park money to buy clothes. I said no because I’m genuinely worried the money will disappear again and the trip won’t happen, I’ve been looking forward to this trip for ages. She also said she would “pay it back tomorrow” from money she’s expecting from market research. I told her she could just wait one day and buy the clothes then instead of borrowing from the trip money and replacing it later, but she got angry and escalated things instead.
She started shouting and swearing at me, called me names, said I was controlling and stealing from her, and tried to cancel the tickets. She later said she couldn’t cancel them but then told my sister to take her friend instead of me. She also is now saying that she never agreed to hand the money over to me and that she only done so because she felt controlled to by me and my Dad.
I feel awful because it’s my mum and technically the money was originally given to her, but at the same time I was specifically trusted to stop the money being spent on other things. AITA?