u/Proof_Television_695

I’m concerned my ex (44M) is in a mental health crisis and I’m the only one that knows the extent of it.

We’ve known each other for eight years and he’s always had issues with getting validation from other women, but in spring of 2024 out of nowhere, he flies half a country away to meet a woman he met online. I went no contact with him for two months but unfortunately our kids are friends and I let my guard down and took him back as a fwb.

We’ve been just friends since February but in mid March it’s like a flip switched and he’s been calling me 8-9 times a day, bringing me lunch 3-4x a week, in constant contact and using me for emotional support.

Well guess what happened out of nowhere Friday? He lied and concealed that he was spending the entire weekend meeting up with a stranger online in a cabin two hours away.

I’m beginning to believe these are manic episodes. It goes so much deeper than the meet ups- he’s also had job losses, fights with so many friends and family members that he’s isolated himself, insane debt (behind on child support, taxes, credit cards, etc) I just found out he hadn’t washed his clothes in over six months. He stopped paying most of his bills, was evicted last year, lives with his grandmother and if she were to pass, he’d be homeless. It would take him literally years to recover to a baseline, and that’s with him getting mental health help that he’s not willing to get.

There’s no one in his orbit I can reach out to with my concerns, so I feel like all I can do is watch him crash and burn from the sidelines. His ex wife hates me, and his family sees most of this behavior and just avoids him. All his IRL friends aren’t talking to him because he kept starting fights with them, his only friends are the random women he meets in dating and fetish Facebook groups. I feel stuck because I don’t want him to get worse, but every time he goes through this cycle it does get worse. I don’t know what to do.

What would you do if your ex was in an obvious mental health crisis and you were the only one that knew the extent of it?

We’ve known each other for eight years and he’s always had issues with getting validation from other women, but it’s escalating into dangerous activity now.

The first time I caught him talking to other women online was just a month into our relationship, and I should’ve left him then because it would happen at least once or twice a year since. After living together a few years (in my house) I sold that house and downsized so we no longer lived together but stayed together until August of 2024, but I stupidly started fwb with him. Well last spring out of nowhere, he flies half a country away to meet a woman he met online. I went no contact with him for two months but unfortunately our kids are friends and I let my guard down and took him back as a fwb.

We’ve been just friends since February but he’s been calling me 8-9 times a day, bringing me lunch 3-4x a week, in constant contact and using me for emotional support.

Well guess what happened out of nowhere Friday? He lied and concealed that he was spending the entire weekend meeting up with a stranger online in a cabin two hours away.

I’m beginning to believe these are manic episodes. It goes so much deeper than the meet ups- he’s also had job losses, fights with so many friends and family members that he’s isolated himself, insane debt (behind on child support, taxes, credit cards, etc) I just found out he hadn’t washed his clothes in over six months. He stopped paying most of his bills, was evicted last year, lives with his grandmother and if she were to pass, he’d be homeless. It would take him literally years to recover to a baseline, and that’s with him getting mental health help that he’s not willing to get.

There’s no one in his orbit I can reach out to with my concerns, so I feel like all I can do is watch him crash and burn from the sidelines. His ex wife hates me, and his family sees most of this behavior and just avoids him. All his IRL friends aren’t talking to him because he kept starting fights with them, his only friends are the random women he meets in dating and fetish Facebook groups. I feel stuck because I don’t want him to get worse, but every time he goes through this cycle it does get worse. I don’t know what to do.

What would you do if your ex (44M) was in an obvious mental health crisis and you (38F) were the only one that knew the extent of it?

We’ve known each other for eight years and dated on and off the whole time, he’s always had issues with getting validation from other women, but it’s escalating into dangerous activity now.

The first time I caught him talking to other women online was just a month into our relationship, and I should’ve left him then because it would happen at least once or twice a year since. After living together a few years (in my house) I sold that house and downsized so we no longer lived together but stayed together until August of 2024, but I stupidly started fwb with him. Well last spring out of nowhere, he flies half a country away to meet a woman he met online. I went no contact with him for two months but unfortunately our kids are friends and I let my guard down and took him back as a fwb.

We’ve been just friends since February but he’s been calling me 8-9 times a day, bringing me lunch 3-4x a week, in constant contact and using me for emotional support.

Well guess what happened out of nowhere Friday? He lied and concealed that he was spending the entire weekend meeting up with a stranger online in a cabin two hours away.

I’m beginning to believe these are manic episodes. It goes so much deeper than the meet ups- he’s also had job losses, fights with so many friends and family members that he’s isolated himself, insane debt (behind on child support, taxes, credit cards, etc) I just found out he hadn’t washed his clothes in over six months. He stopped paying most of his bills, was evicted last year, lives with his grandmother and if she were to pass, he’d be homeless. It would take him literally years to recover to a baseline, and that’s with him getting mental health help that he’s not willing to get.

There’s no one in his orbit I can reach out to with my concerns, so I feel like all I can do is watch him crash and burn from the sidelines. His ex wife hates me, and his family sees most of this behavior and just avoids him. All his IRL friends aren’t talking to him because he kept starting fights with them, his only friends are the random women he meets in dating and fetish Facebook groups. I feel stuck because I don’t want him to get worse, but every time he goes through this cycle it does get worse. I don’t know what to do.