u/Proud_Wasabi9214

im itritated just rethinking about this. i (24f) married almost 6 yrs ,with one kid,am still experiencing a form of helicopter parenting from my mom that angers me the most its almost unbearable. i dont know why it makes me so angry, maybe bc its happend numerous times on different situations.
My mom will do this thing where if i dont respond to her, she will call everyone that knows me . And i mean everyone and anyone.
For example today. 🙂
My husband and I , along with our toddler landed from a 6 hour redeye flight back home, we got picked up from the airport with the help of my MIL. We come home and when i tell you we immedianetly went to bed- i mean it. Airport clothes and all (i know gross but we were DEAD tired and also recovering from food poisening). Anyway we slept for about 3-4 hours and upon waking up i see my mom has texted me and our family group (my side ) chat:
“HAvE YOU LANDED?”
“U GUYS LANDED YET”
“?????”
“HOW WAS THE FLIGHT?”

proceeds to call my inlaws asking if we are oKaYY bc I havnt responded 🙂

maybe becuase i was busy getting home from the flight and fucking sleeping and then upon waking up immediently feeding my toddler, unpacking??? maybe bc i was fucking exhausted?????????????

1. if something DID happen - if the plane got delayed or we crashed dont you fucking think my MIL would text you right away ???! since SHES the one picking us up?? my husband was in direct communication with his mom BC shes the one picking us up!!!! im not checking my phone bc im pushing a stroller and a carry on and my husband is pushing a large as suitcase, carseat and carry on ????
   Even in that case, my MIL WOULD BE THE ONE CALLING YOU NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND
2. I HAVE MY OWN FAMILY /CHILD TO TAKE CARE OF FIRST , THEY ARE MY PRIORITY BEFORE TEXTING YOU THE SECOND WE LAND. FOR FUCKS SAKE

I will also say- maybe some might say “whats so hard about texting you mom back?”
well first of all , i have a lot of resentment towards her for how overbearing and boundary crossing she was towards me as kid and im working on healing that resentment . every answer is also followed up by 2 more questions and its mentally exhausting texting her back
i will also say that we are constantly in communication with her via text on vacation , always sending pics of what we are doing and obviosuly pic ofs our daughyer ( her grandkid)
so she ALREADY is always texting us and so are we back.
I keep my distance as much as possible with her now and never let her into my personal life/ thoughts/ accomplishment ect.
Thats what i do to keep my sanity.

Nevertheless why the hell does she DO THAT??
im irritated just typing this out

I just came back from visiting Honolulu after 7 days, and honestly, I think it’s a little overrated as a tourist destination. Obviously, if someone actually lives there, they probably have a completely different perspective.
By around day 4, my husband and I were kind of like, “Okay… we’re ready to go home now” 😂
Don’t get me wrong — it’s beautiful, and it was nice being somewhere tropical for a change since we live in Oregon. But I also feel like Hawaii gets very glamorized online.
We had a pretty chill trip because we were traveling with our toddler, so we weren’t doing scuba diving, intense hikes, or anything super adventurous. Our main goals were basically:
swimming in the ocean,getting some sun,
and tryig a few popular food spots.
But honestly, a lot of the “must-try” places that had amazing reviews were just… okay? Not bad at all, just not life-changing like people made them sound.
The main attraction we visited was the botanical gardens. They were beautiful, but still a little underwhelming to me personally. I think part of it is because I’m from Oregon and already used to seeing mountains, greenery, and nature everywhere, so it didn’t feel as insanely different as I expected.
Another thing I noticed was the tension between tourism and locals. I ended up learning a lot more about how many locals dislike tourism and the whole “stop visiting Hawaii” conversation. And honestly, I can understand why people feel that way.
It was also kind of sad seeing the contrast between the tourist areas and how some locals are living. One minute you’re walking through Waikiki surrounded by luxury stores and tourists, and the next you see how expensive and difficult life clearly is for a lot of local families.
And the prices were honestly shocking. My husband and I aren’t even huge restaurant people, but somehow just grabbing coffee and casual food every day added up so fast. We already live in an expensive state, so I thought I’d be prepared, but Hawaii was still next level.
Overall, I’m glad I went and experienced it at least once. It’s definitely beautiful, but for me personally, it didn’t fully live up to the level of hype I always see online.

it took me 24 years to realize this. All my life all my mother would do was tell me about how women are vicious, sneaky, and can neverr be trusted, and that i should never have close friends. To this day i have never had a best girl friend or just a GOOD close friendship with another women. im not counting like middle school) I thought i was broken, or that there was something wrong with me . I look back at my life and i realize my mom never had close friendships as well, i never saw her invite a woman for coffee at home or go out for brunch with women or ANYTHING of the sort. Her favorite thing to say to me was “friends will leave but yOUR sIBLiNGS will AlwAYS be there.”
She would sabotoage my realtionships (friendships ) with girls all the time.
She also always did and still does- constantly critique other moms and how they raised their kids, and how she was just the best and they way they raised their kids was sOoOO wrOnG. This is especially triggering for me now that i am a mom myself 😭.
She lovesss to discuss other women, and i constantly find myself thinking like “oh i shouldnt do this bc what will she think of me “at MY ripe age of 24🫠” BECAUSE i KNOW how she judges other women (a lot of the time women in their teens and twenties, with her being 50)
Its truly incredible. Its healing to me becuase now it all makes sense!
My shit self esteem, my inability to cultivate and keep friendships all makes sense bc i was neber modeled how to. I never saw it first hand. It was also drilled into me that friendships were never important 😆
Thankfulky i am unlearning all this, and realized that yes i DO deserve friendships , I CAN be a friend to someone, women arnt all evil , sure some can be 😆 but there are good women im the world and i am deserving of good quaility friends!!