New TV Series - Fake Lawyer: Car Towing Scams in Santa Fe
Hi All,
I just got back from Camino Real Apartments and the boot on Taza's car. We are talking and hanging out, trying to figure out how to take over the world, as always (through Dusoma Foundation, Taza Impact and Starve Magazine.)
Then we come up with the idea of this TV show, and we are laughing so hard we are literally crying. This is the funniest thing that I have written in a few weeks. Hope you enjoy it. (I know I could actually put these things into GenAI filmmaking tools, but at this point, we don't even need to, just use your imagination.)
On this week’s episode of “Fake Lawyer” our good looking actor is at it again, this time shutting down the rampant car towing scams that plague Santa Fe.
First, what is the show “Fake Lawyer” about? It’s about an actor with an earpiece who confronts everyday injustice by misrepresenting himself as an attorney, and threatening to sue people. He literally and metaphorically throws the book at people. Through the earpiece, a team is using ChatGPT and telling him what to say.
In this week’s episode of “Fake Lawyer,” his car, legally parked in a spot he paid for in his apartment complex, gets a “boot” locked on the wheel, with a $75 extortion attempt. His team, behind the scenes, in a control room, jumps into action. He immediately realizes that this is a scam between the apartment complex (who work as “spotters”) and the towing company, who provides a financial kickback to the spotter for every car they report. Within minutes he has encyclopedic knowledge about the scam, and successful attempts to bankrupt the towing company and permanently ban bad actors from the industry.
But this is where “Fake Lawyer” is so great. When he confronts the spotter, they apartment manager says, “this isn’t illegal.” After a pause (because AI takes a couple minutes) Fake Lawyer says, “This is systematic exploitation under NMSA § 57-12-2. You act as a 'spotter' to funnel low-income tenants into a predatory kickback loop, and you’ve moved past the protection of the lease and into the realm of intentional tort. Legality is dictated by intent. If your primary objective is the generation of illicit remuneration through a roving extortion scheme, rather than a bona fide interest in parking management, the court views that as a fraudulent enterprise. This isn't a 'misunderstanding' of the rules—it is the deliberate weaponization of residential access for profit. I have the litigation holds ready to expose every 'spotter' log and every kickback payment in your ledger.”
Fake lawyer ducks into a Kinko’s - we see a montage of sweat dripping off his forehead as he prints 10,000 pages of Litigation Hold letters. A subpoena on the last 90-days of activity, every text message, every recorded call. The towing company and apartment management company are immediately being audited and investigated. You see police officers carrying computers out of the shuttered towing company (Direct Parking Services).
The episode ends with Fake Lawyer throwing a book at the camera.
You get the idea. Fake Lawyer. Real lawsuits. Instant Justice for Poor People at Scale.
Starve Magazine is here: https://dusoma.com/starve-volumes/