u/PurpleEffective1959

To keep it short, my husband and I have an incredible marriage. We got together in our very early 20s. We both are kinda “meh” about the thought of parenting. I’m much more negative about it than he is because as a woman, we simply have to give up much more. The conversation is being brought up more and more often. I’m wondering if anyone who has been in a happy relationship done egg freezing despite being at the age where you should pull the trigger either way.
I personally would have no issue being an older mom if that meant I’d be mentally in a place where it’s something I yearn for rather than something I dread when thinking of it.
I did an amh test and it came back great. That made me think maybe I should freeze just in case we do try but it gets harder.

I’m in my early thirties and she’s in her late 20s. For the past decade we have been extremely close despite living in different countries. She has a son who is 10 years old and I have ALWAYS made sure to always be there for her whenever she was stressed out, needed to vent, etc. Up until two years ago, we communicated daily. We would talk about anything and everything no matter how little or boring. She never made an effort to visit me in the countries I was and am residing in which I didn’t mind because I knew she had a kid. Eventually I invited her to an international sister trip over a weekend to NYC, three nights, all paid for by myself because I just wanted her here. Then, her ex best friend re-appeared back into her life, as well as a new (shitty) boyfriend, and she has dropped me ever since. She’s now taking vacations yearly, even without her son but with her boyfriend rather, instead of coming to see me. No more texts. If she replies, it’s very dismissive and pretty much to be polite. I am incredibly upset and angry because no matter how busy my life got (I’m married and have moved continents and jobs) I have ALWAYS made her a priority in my life. It’s been two weeks since I stopped initiating contact (because the past two years it was pretty much just myself initiating) and she hasn’t texted. It hurts because I know the relationship will never recover from this. Just needed to vent. I’ve told her something similar to this before but she brushes it off as if I am needy and crazy. Basically gaslighting. Even my mother is pissed. Anyone else in a similar boat?

My husband and I have been married for 12 years and are now in our early-to-mid 30s. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve told my mom that I didn’t want kids, and that feeling has honestly never changed. When my husband and I got together at 21 and 22, I assumed I’d eventually change my mind because I was still growing up and because he’s such an amazing person. At that age, I didn’t feel like I could confidently say I was truly childfree forever.

My husband also isn’t naturally a “kid person” in my opinion. We both really love our freedom, our time together, our hobbies, and the life we’ve built. Lately, a lot of his friends are starting to have children, and I think as a man it’s easier for him to look at it as a “why not?” situation because he wouldn’t have to go through pregnancy or childbirth himself.

The problem is that I love him more than anything and I absolutely do not want a divorce. But the thought of becoming pregnant gives me panic attacks and night sweats. There’s nothing about having a child that feels appealing enough to me to outweigh what we would be giving up. I truly love the life we have together.

I know nobody can really make this decision for us, but I’m wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation. How did things turn out for you?

tl;dr