Reached my breaking point
Here’s what I wrote in my diary: I wrote to my uncle who passed away 8 years ago; imagine I’m sending a letter than would never be sent
Dear tio,
I'm not doing great. I feel so lost, just a walking corpse waiting for its expiration date. I try so hard to be seen, but no one hears me. I call out, no one answers: A never ending cycle. What once was full of light is nothing but darkness. Maybe I'm the problem, all I do is push people away, it's what I do best. No one stays, even if my intentions are geniune. Sometimes a pure heart is never enough, it shatters every single time. A heart made of glass, but yearns for love. My future feels light years away, everything moves too fast and I can’t keep up. Everyone leaves and moves on, while I'm left in the dark. Life isnt fair. I keep telling myself, I cant control anyone's actions except my own, and It's true, but it still hurts. All I do is hurt. A pain that never goes away, it lingers, waiting to strike. All I want is to see the light again, to leave the dark, to let it go. All I can do now, is have hope. I have hope.