u/QueenLunaEatingTuna

I've just had results from a glucagon stimulation test which showed a peak of 1.13 for growth hormone and 458 for cortisol and have lots of questions about what to do next.

The private endo I saw said he will refer me back into the NHS endocrinology as he said he has a very long waiting list for his treatment clinic and the growth hormone meds are prohibitively expensive at £300 per month.

However the waiting list for NHS first endo appointment is currently 20 weeks! I'm worried about getting worse in this time - is hypopituitarism degenerative?

I'm also worried because even though the private endo threshold for cortisol deficiency was 460, the NHS threshold is 430 - meaning they may not believe I'm deficient. My baseline 9am cortisol before the test was 132 which is below the NICE guideline for likely deficiency - so I'm not sure what these results mean?

I'm aware you can have a tumour - my symptoms have been stable for a few months but does the tumour usually grow? I don't know whether to wait for the NHS to do a scan in 5 months time or get one privately to speed up the process if its an urgent problem ?

What Else could I do in the meantime - I've already lost my job and making an appeal to get it back with reduced hours but I don't know if its a bad idea to keep trying to work with this condition not being treated... the job is quite physical as its care in the community. I've been thinking I would try and become a driving instructor as its a sitting down job and I could choose my hours, but feel like its giving up my career I've built on in social care.

I'm so bored too, I've been off work since April and have very little physical energy so I can't do much except sit around at home and I've been very down. I've got a therapist which will help but time just goes so slowly waiting for the next medical appointment. What did everyone else do while being off sick?

She is not actually delusional, she enjoys toying with people and even though her grasp of language/the law is so poor, she has just enough smarts on how to wind people up. To clarify this is not always part of BPD, and its not in the diagnostic criteria, but it is clear to me in this case.

Please read about BPD and go on r/BPDlovedones to see people's real experiences. Also you may enjoy watching a musical show called Crazy Ex-Girlfriend which is a way more fun way to learn about the condition.

Story for illustration..

My ex-best friend - let's call her K -is very similar in personality to TFP which is why personally I find myself fascinated by her and struggle to disengage.

K was extremely sensitive and insecure and could not accept criticism or feedback of any kind. She had a conflicting sense of self, where she flipped between being vain and self-aggrandising and absolutely loathing herself. I always felt sorry for her and didn't notice the vanity or 'narcissistic' side of her, and excused her for always getting upset about tiny things I said wrong because she'd had a hard life. She was so used to conflict that that was her normal way of being, and she'd fall out with me constantly. I felt if I loved her enough and showed her she was enough she would get better. unfortunately she didnt. I started to realise that things always had to be her way, and I was bending over backwards all the time to prop up her confidence. I constantly felt guilty for having my own needs and was scared of voicing them to her. I realised eventually after she crossed more boundaries that she was controlling me with guilt trips and tantrums. She would always tell me she could pick up on emotions and read people so well, and she did spookily predict some things like a manager taking a dislike to her.

So the point is, that this friend presented as having the same morals as everyone else, yet she let slip her true character occasionally, usually when we were drunk. She would always invent stories and characters when we were on nights out 'for the plot', and eventually I realised that she was probably making things up about how hard her life was to me as well. One time, her mum started telling us about how she had wound up her husband - K's stepdad - into a temper. K had told me that he was abusive and cruel and she and her mum were scared of him. K was embarrased of her mum admitting she wound him up and told her to shut up... another time she told me while laughing that she would sometimes play dumb or be contrary to wind me up and she found it funny. I was so flabbergasted I didn't know what to say. Another time she actually said she likes to manipulate people, and after this I started learning and noticing the DARVO technique being used during our fights.

She really was incredibly in tune with people, it was spooky how well she could read people and spin just the right story to get what she wanted. I believe this is similar with TFP, difficult as it may be to believe. And this post shows that TFP does know how to push people's buttons, and I think this feeds the vanity of thinking she's so clever.

I'm now no-contact with this friend btw, but now can't unsee the patterns in other people.

Hope this is okay to post here, wasn't sure where else to post.

So most of my s*xual experiences have ranged from uncomfortable to traumatising because I didn't know when I was young what being turned on felt like and just let my boyfriends do stuff which I didn't really enjoy.

I grew up in a very strict and repressed household and my mum would literally say 'ew that's disgusting' if naked bodies or s*x were on the tv, and she'd turn it off. So I understand why I was repressed.

I have often fantasised about being rescued by a prince charming figure, but I always put myself in an awful situation that I have to be rescued from, including SA situations.

But I don't understand why my subconscious brain focusses on the SA part and gets turned on by it when I'm asleep, and tbh sometimes when I'm awake. I feel so much shame and disgust about it, because I absolutely do not like power play in s*x, I always hate any amount of overpowering, and if it happend in real life I'd run a mile because I can now recognise it and keep myself safe.

I was scared of searching online in case it comes up with pro-SA content or BDSM.

What does this mean, or if this isn't the right place for advice where should I look?

I started a new role in March as a support worker, and unfortunately started becoming really ill with weakness and pain in my legs meaning I can't walk far.

I kept trying to work and then going off sick and now gone off sick for 4 weeks, and getting another sick note. Doctors don't know what is wrong so I don't know what my prognosis will be. I'm going private to get to the bottom of it faster.

I work for a local council which has very good policies, however my local manager is being very unsupportive and trying to get rid of me.

I have done the occupational health meeting, and they had no suggestions, except confirming that if it was hormonal and treatable, I could return to work, and if it was M.E it would be unlikely I could return. They confirmed I am considered as having a disability under the Equality Act.

This week I have a meeting booked with the manager and HR to discuss workplace adjustments, and the adjustments I will ask for are extending probation, counting my absence as disability-related so as not to trigger a performance review.

My manager today sent a letter saying she would extend my probation by 6 weeks, and if I didn't pass the probation and improve my attendance then she would have to terminate employment. This seems so inappropriate because I can't improve attendance as I'm off sick and waiting for a diagnosis!

The council's own policy says managers can extend probation up to 6 months if necessary, and says considering redeployment within the council is a mandatory consideration.

I have a trade union rep but he hasn't been very useful so far.

How should I approach this in the next meeting? I don't want to be too combative because if I stay I'll still have her managing me, but I'm so pissed off she's threatening to sack me without following the policy requirements.

I started a new role in March as a support worker, and unfortunately started becoming really ill with weakness and pain in my legs meaning I can't walk far.

I kept trying to work and then going off sick and now gone off sick for 4 weeks, and getting another sick note. Doctors don't know what is wrong so I don't know what my prognosis will be. I'm going private to get to the bottom of it faster.

I work for a local council which has very good policies, however my local manager is being very unsupportive and trying to get rid of me.

I have done the occupational health meeting, and they had no suggestions, except confirming that if it was hormonal and treatable, I could return to work, and if it was M.E it would be unlikely I could return. They confirmed I am considered as having a disability under the Equality Act.

This week I have a meeting booked with the manager and HR to discuss workplace adjustments, and the adjustments I will ask for are extending probation, counting my absence as disability-related so as not to trigger a performance review.

My manager today sent a letter saying she would extend my probation by 6 weeks, and if I didn't pass the probation and improve my attendance then she would have to terminate employment.

Is this legal?

The council's own policy says managers can extend probation up to 6 months if necessary, and says considering redeployment within the council is a mandatory consideration.

I have a trade union rep but he hasn't been very useful so far.

How should I respond?

Hi all,

I've just bought a refurbished P50 and from my limited knowledge I thought it would be a fine laptop for everyday use and light games, I play Minecraft Bedrock, Skyrim SE and the Sims 4.

Spec: P50, intel core i7-6820HQ, nvidia quadro m1000m, 16gb ram, 512gb ssd, Windows 10

It turns on normally and I've downloaded various browsers, Brave browser is very slow for some reason, whereas Firefox runs nice and fast.

It is getting quite warm when running Minecraft or Skyrim and can barely run them at all. I previously ran the same games on my old laptop with better performance on intel core i3 so is something wrong with this laptop?

I've added a FPS counter to MC which says that it's doing around 47 fps, but the actual visuals seem much worse than that. For both MC and Skyrim it takes a full second to respond to any movements, so you just end up running into walls. I've never seen lagging this bad. Have already tried changing the settings for the nvidia graphics card following a youtube tutorial, and the graphics look very nice but still lagging just as bad.

What should I test to make sure the laptop was refurbished to a good standard? I don't know if I have grounds to return the laptop, but if I do, I want to know what is wrong with it so the seller will take me seriously.

Please explain like I'm 5 because I couldn't understand the setting up wiki on this sub as I don't know all the terms.