r/AskHRUK

QQ if I may

Looking to get all my ducks in a row before a mediation

So I’ve had a complaint as one of my team members doesn’t like it when I ask him to call me a nickname

The only proof he has is a text, the text was sent by me at 3am and we are both massively into partying (if you catch my drift ) and it is known within my company… there is also a HR case about my drug use at work for which I have to attend therapy as part of a signed agreement I must also make them aware of any relapses.

Anyway, the text says “how’s daddy’s favourite little auditor”

I have 1 main question, given that I am supposed to let them know if I stay partying again, how would this go down? I did get a payout as part of this agreement(had to step down from head of dept role into senior manager role, would I have to pay that back?

I'm on maternity leave and was due to return to work in January 2027, however my current employer has ended my role in a restructure and an alternative wasn't available. I'm now in the waiting period for that contract to officially end, and very much enjoying time at home with my baby.

Much sooner than expected I've been invited to interview at a different company for a role that ticks all my boxes career wise. It's the type of role that doesn't come up often, so it's not one I want to pass by. The new company doesn't know that I'm on maternity leave, but they do know my contract is ending - though I haven't given a specific date for when. If I was to be successful, ideally I would have a phased start - eg part time from autumn before going full time in the new year, pending child care which can't be confirmed until I know a start date and working patterns. Three month notice periods are common in my industry and seniority level, so these timings don't feel totally unreasonable to me, though I'd imagine the phased start would be challenged.

From an HR perspective, when would you want a candidate to disclose this information? And how would you expect this to be disclosed?

My gut instinct says to keep this information to myself until I'm further in the process (at least stage 2 of a 3-stage process) so they get to know me, otherwise they might write me off as a non-serious candidate. But is there anything else I need to consider?

Just a quick hypothetical. If I sign away my statutory right to submit a SAR, can I ever submit a SAR with that company, or does my statutory right overrule the contract? It would be a without prejudice type of contract.

Hello lovely people of HRUK, I have been wondering for a long time when is actually the best time for both the employee and the company to disclose disabilities. If I were to use ADHD and migraines as an example so nuerodivergency, to help with visualising the concerns from the HR perspective.

Before interview: full clarity, but it could affect the outcome with a "we have filled the role with an experienced candidate" due to company risk.

During interview: still fully clear but being sprung on hiring manager could feel uncomfortable or ruin the flow of interview. Could still affect outcome.

After job offer: Some hiring managers may feel lied to because of not disclosing and having adjustments at interview which could help employee.

Sometime during job: The employee may be able to fulfill the role until something causes them to struggle and manager may feel employee is not suitable. Could also affect relationship after disclosing.

These are only my thoughts. So what do you think? Love to know how you would prefer the employee to approach disclosing and what would be best for both sides.

I’ve been with my company for nearly 3 years and I’ve had a rocky relationship with my manager. The team has grown from just me and him to a few others and they aren’t very engaging. My manager has told me it’s my responsibility to engage with them and uphold the team dynamics even though they are incredibly quiet and make unsavoury comments about my political views and habits such as smoking. I‘ve also raised concerns with the HR manager and a HR business partner about my manager being unfair / refusing to listen to my concerns. I’ve also had to ask him to rewrite my 121 notes on 2 occasions as he misconstrued what was said.

Recently I found out I had a benign tumour in my kidney which is causing me pain and low mood / energy. I explained to my manager in my 121 a few weeks ago that I wanted to focus on work and keep my head down, as I didn’t have the energy to focus on anything else due to my health. He said that isn’t an excuse and I had to continue being exactly the same with my team. Since then, I raised my concerns to a BP once more and then on Tuesday I got suspended from work because of some messages I sent to a work friend on work chat about my manager and others in my team, using code names and discussing how we don’t like them / being silly and inappropriate. A lot of the chat was mostly about when to go for smoke breaks, general internet brain rot stuff as well. I’m being investigated for inappropriate communication, bullying and harassment and mis-use of company systems. How screwed am I?? I plan on taking accountability and being honest while also explaining that I was venting to a colleague during difficult days with a team and manager that made me uncomfortable. Also, we work in the HR department as well if that changes anything.

Is it ok to receive calls on a work phone asking me to do tasks during my unpaid break?

I’ve been bitten by the same dog at work three times now as of today (I do mean a literal dog as I work with dogs as my job). Spoke to my boss/owner of the business and they will not be getting rid of the dog and said if I don’t like it I need to leave. They’ve then said to think wisely about leaving as they won’t be providing a reference for me.

From a safety perspective, I think the best thing to do is leave now. I obviously do not have another job lined up but will be applying like mad to anything and everything.

How do I navigate this with potential employers? I don’t know how to explain why I’ve left my current job and why I’m not able to provide a potential employer with a reference from my most recent job. I know this is going to look so dodgy and I don’t really know what to do!

(I have been advised on the legal side of things, thankfully. I’m just really worried I won’t be able to find a new job due to no reference and potentially a period of unemployment. I also don’t know how to work all of this on a CV etc etc.)

I am not talking about anything serious enough for a formal grievance. More of a persistent low level issue that's affecting how much I enjoy coming in. Every time I think about saying something I picture it getting awkward and making everything worse. Wondering if there's a middle ground most people don't know about.

okay so basically i had a prior commitment to go with someone close to me up to another city for two weeks during his military training period and i honestly forgot until he asked about it today, the issue now is i start a new job tomorrow and im not entirely sure how to go about asking because i do really need this job but id also feel horrible if i flaked since he already made all the arrangements for me to go. what should i do? im worried they will fire me since its so soon ill be 13 days into my employment when the trip is supposed to happen and i feel like i should have brought this up during the onboarding but i honestly didnt even remember until he asked about it today and i feel like a bad person all around because i dont want to flake but i also dont want to seem unreliable to the company

I’m not sure if this is the best place to post this… my boss just sent me a message to let me know they are promoting my maternity cover person to manager of the department so i will be coming back to work under her.
For context I built the role from the ground up and was essentially doing a management role before going on maternity leave (working a lot harder than I should’ve been while heavily pregnant might I add) without a change of contract or wage because they were very much skirting around the word ‘manager’ consciously and I knew they would just shoot me down if I pushed for it before going on maternity leave anyway. However now the official management position has been given to someone else and I haven’t even been approached with the choice of going for the job.
I think from a legal standpoint I don’t have a leg to stand on because the job I’m contracted to do will technically still be there for me, but in reality my job has been taken from me because I dared to have a baby and I’m now going to be someone’s assistant.
It’s also worth noting that a man who works in my department (who is paid more because he does a specialist job) is being paid his full wage for his paternity leave where I got no extras beyond statutory. I understand he only gets 2 weeks and it’s not the same as looking at topping someone’s wage up for 9months - 1 year but there’s no reason they couldn’t top up my pay for 2 weeks too.
I just feel really undervalued right now. I think it stings more because I’ve already given so much of myself over to my baby and I was actually looking forward to going back to work and feeling more like myself and now I just feel like I’ve lost that too.

Has anyone else experienced feeling pushed out of their role while on maternity leave and how did you handle it?

I’m a few months into a new role that is essentially a Team Leader of a few teams. I am due to start line management but for now I am in an oversight role.
One of the teams has been very hostile with me since I joined and refuses to do anything I’ve asked of them.
I have attempted approaching with empathy, with curiosity, I have escalated. Even more strangely, when I specifically request they don’t do something, they will do it. Any guidance would be appreciated!

Is it normal\legal to offer a 29000 pounds position for a 45 hour workweek (paid hours) which on average is less than minimum wage salary?

I heard that the average should not be below it.

I'm appealing against a final written warning based on sickness absences. I submitted my appeal within the one week deadline on 6th May.

On 14th May, I was informed that the appeal meeting would be held today, 18th May. I arranged for a colleague to accompany me, but due to a family emergency they can no longer attend today. They're unable to make a meeting tomorrow due to their workload, even if they're in work.

On 20th May, I have a surgical procedure for a long-term condition which is the cause of my recent absences (and meets the criteria for a disability). This has been scheduled for over two months, and work have been aware of it from the start. The procedure has a two week recovery period, for which my employer has already approved medical leave.

I asked on Friday to postpone the meeting until after this recovery period, but have yet to receive a reply (with only a couple of hours until the meeting).

If I'm unable to be accompanied today or tomorrow, and am then unavailable for two weeks, what are my rights when it comes to a postponement so that I can be accompanied? In my view, scheduling a meeting so close to a planned surgical procedure gives me no leeway and this should have been factored into the scheduling in the first place, given that they knew my availability.

UPDATE: they have rejected my request to postpone the meeting until a later date. They moved the meeting back to this afternoon as they still hadn't responded to my request until a few minutes before the meeting was due to start. I will have to go unaccompanied.

I resigned from my current job this week, giving the contractual 1 month’s notice. I promptly received an email from HR to inform me that I am ineligible to receive the discretionary bonus - due to be paid with May’s salary - because I’m working my notice period.

So I understand this is standard practice, and I was vaguely aware that it might happen (I admit to skim reading HR memos). I won’t be challenging the decision. But my question is, what does this really achieve for the company other than a smug satisfaction of saving a few grand?

If I’d been more strategic, I could’ve waited 2 weeks until after payday then resigned (kind of regret not doing so now), but I’m keen to get started in my new role. If this policy is to encourage retainment, surely it only really encourages it in the month of payment?? Other team members, and even my line manager, were shocked when I told them. It feels like it’s had a negative impact on morale, as it seems such a petty and mean spirited clause.

So, HR folks, am I missing something obvious? Is it just a punishment for leaving? Have you ever seen it actually drive staff retention?

seeing all these talent marketplace platforms pop up claiming they'll connect recruiters with clients. most seem like they just throw you into a pool with thousands of other recruiters competing for the same roles. feels like it would be the same grind as agency work but with even less support. has anyone actually used these platforms and found them valuable? or is it just another way to compete on volume instead of building real client relationships? trying to figure out if this is the future of independent recruiting or just companies taking advantage of desperate recruiters.

I recently resigned from a well-known hospitality company. My last straw was being short-paid £450 on my normal pay cycle which led me to a formal grievance after addressing it with my manager. During my grievance meeting, HR agreed I was short paid and promised an advance payment to correct it. However, they only paid me £100.

The day after my grievance meeting, I submitted my formal resignation. It has now been 3 weeks and I have no idea what to do…

HR claims they can’t issue my final pay and holiday pay or my P45 because my manager hasn't submitted my "leavers form" meaning I’m still on their system as an active employee.

I have been blocked from the internal system, so I can’t access my payslips etc. I also know I have been taxed incorrectly on all my earnings but I can’t sort this out with HMRC without my payslips or P45.

What are my options here to force HR's hand? Since they are a massive company, is there a specific way to escalate this past local HR?

Any advice would be appreciated!

Hi all!

I posted on here a while ago but as a quick summary -

Worked for a large UK bank for 7 years and was dismissed earlier this year for alleged “call avoidance” in a customer service based role.

The department had recently gone through a major operational change from mostly phone work to a 50/50 split between calls and heavy admin casework, and a lot of staff struggled with workload/backlogs.

I accepted I wasn’t always following my inbound schedule correctly during part of Oct/Nov 2025, but it was due to backlog/workload pressure and difficulty task-switching rather than deliberate misconduct.

At the time I had raised concerns about possible ADHD symptoms and since dismissal I’ve now been formally diagnosed and started treatment. I’ve also struggled with anxiety/depression following the dismissal.
A few key issues:

They dismissed me for gross misconduct/dishonesty rather than capability.

They admitted they didn’t actually have workload/WIP data for the investigation period.

Other employees were investigated around the same time but I was the only one dismissed.

Part of the investigation period included dates I was on annual leave and returning to backlog/work allocated during leave.

I’ve now submitted an Employment Tribunal claim for unfair dismissal, disability discrimination/failure to make reasonable adjustments and wrongful dismissal.

Tribunal has accepted the claim and employer has until June to respond.

They did accept pretty quickly. I was dismissed end of January - went through ACAS early conciliation and heard nothing. Got my certificate for tribunal end of April and submitted my case the same day - mid May and they’ve accepted (after around 2 weeks of submission) respondent has until June 8th and my hearing is Feb 2027.

Just seeking advice as it is a large and well known corporation - what are things to look out for that they will try their best to make me think about dropping my case or is it looking positive for me so far?

Appreciate any advice given.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. There's a lot said about passive candidate strategy but in practice the outreach I see looks basically the same regardless of whether someone's actively looking or not. The theory is that passive candidates need more warming up, more context, more of a real conversation before you're asking them to do anything. But actually executing that at volume is really hard and I'm not sure how many people are doing it well. Curious what this actually looks like for people who've figured it out or at least gotten closer.

I've been staying at my current place as we are looking to get pregnant. However, im unhappy with my current role. The only thing stopping me is the stress of knowing I might get pregnant either during the notice period or as soon as I join another place (I'm undergoing treatment with increased possibility of this happening).

I can check on maternity policies when I'm interviewing with a place. However should I be upfront about it during the HR round?

TLDR: Manager is homophobic at work and my claims are invalidated by higher management. What should I do?

Hello! I (M26) have been at my workplace for almost 2 years, and across the time have experienced a few homophobic comments towards me from one of my managers, which have been witnessed by other managers who did not take any further action. I was also sexually harrassed by a male colleague and received homophobic abuse from a customer, but this was never taken seriously enough for me to be able to raise it further.

I had a meeting yesterday with the general manager who basically tried to insinuate that my feelings were exaggerated, and that it is possible that the blatant homophobic comments made by a manager (who has reposted homophobic material on his Instagram - which I was told off for bringing up as apparently it is irrelevant even though it goes against the company's EDI and Social Media policies) were just innocent curiosity. These comments include suggestions that gay people go against nature because they cannot reproduce, and that he does not want members of the LGBTQ+ community to push it in his face. I was also told in this meeting that he cannot be homophobic as he has only made these comments to me and not other gay people in the workplace. I was also made to feel that because I am only 26, I have not seen the great progress made in LGBTQ+ rights in the UK (which, I might add, are currently ranked at their lowest level for a long time). My general manager also compared my experience with lifelong homophobia to when he used to receive a few comments at school for being from Eastern Europe, which has nothing to do with the matter at hand.

The solution that my general manager has provided is that he will ask the other manager to stop speaking to me. Bearing in mind that this manager already does not even greet me, but only chooses to talk to me when he wants to talk about my sexuality.

The meeting I had yesterday further proves my claims that I am not being taken seriously here, and thus would like to know what I can do to raise this further.

Ideally, I believe that my homophobic manager should be dismissed. I do not understand how they can let someone whose opinions, which yesterday they told me that he was entitled to despite them being harmful towards myself, clash so strongly with the values of their company continue to work here, especially as we are currently working closely with an LGBTQ+ organisation. I also cannot believe the treatment that I received in the meeting yesterday, which seemed to only invalidate my perfectly reasonable claims and made me seem like I am exaggerating and do not know what I am talking about.

Where do I go from here?