u/fruitinatree

I’ve been bitten by the same dog at work three times now as of today (I do mean a literal dog as I work with dogs as my job). Spoke to my boss/owner of the business and they will not be getting rid of the dog and said if I don’t like it I need to leave. They’ve then said to think wisely about leaving as they won’t be providing a reference for me.

From a safety perspective, I think the best thing to do is leave now. I obviously do not have another job lined up but will be applying like mad to anything and everything.

How do I navigate this with potential employers? I don’t know how to explain why I’ve left my current job and why I’m not able to provide a potential employer with a reference from my most recent job. I know this is going to look so dodgy and I don’t really know what to do!

(I have been advised on the legal side of things, thankfully. I’m just really worried I won’t be able to find a new job due to no reference and potentially a period of unemployment. I also don’t know how to work all of this on a CV etc etc.)

I’ve been bitten by the same dog at work three times now as of today. Spoke to my boss/owner of the business and they will not be getting rid of the dog and said if I don’t like it I need to leave. They’ve then said to think wisely about leaving as they won’t be providing a reference for me.

From a safety perspective, I think the best thing to do is leave now. I obviously do not have another job lined up but will be applying like mad to anything and everything.

How do I navigate this with potential employers? I don’t know how to explain why I’ve left my current job and why I’m not able to provide a potential employer with a reference from my most recent job. I know this is going to look so dodgy and I don’t really know what to do!

Quick edit to add: I do mean a literal dog - I work with dogs (in North of England if that’s relevant)

Further edit: thank you very much for the responses regarding ACAS/legal side of things, I will be following advice/getting supported with this. Apologies I’ve been poor with responding, I was only expecting a few replies. I have read through everything and I’m in the process of getting documentation of everything, speaking with the relevant people, and looking for new jobs. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to help with this!

I’ve got loads of conflicting parts on the matter and I’m struggling to sort them.

The specifics are that I need to lose fat and gain muscle.

I have a part that’s taken great offence to this and has come forward with the mindset of ‘Unacceptable!!!! We’re going to stop eating to sort this out immediately’ (said part reminds me very much of Lemongrab from Adventure Time).

Off the back of this, I’ve been introduced to another part (who I realise has been running the show for a crazy long time) who is very scared of the thought of restricting our food intake and needs to have constant access to food and the freedom to eat what they want when they want (which is how we’ve been existing for basically our whole life).

I really struggle to access Self and find for more desperate moments like this I will just pretend to be a mother to myself/think like a good mum would.

The Good Mum has come forward with the suggestion that why don’t we try eating a more balanced diet (our diet is very poor) and exercise (we don’t really do this due to another part). The Good Mum is pretty sure that doing this will sort our weight out and we won’t need to resort to more destructive ways of sorting ourselves out but parts aren’t convinced.

The above mentioned part does not like us exercising, especially if the intent behind exercise is to lose weight. Apologies if these aren’t the right words to use, but I find if we do try to exercise anyway, this part will punish us in some way for doing so (somatic sensations leading to us being physically sick, binge eating afterwards or during the time we should be exercising).

There’s also several other parts who use food as a way to cope. They’re very panicked at the thought of not having their desired foods on hand and they feel abandoned.

I really don’t know how to manage everyone’s needs in this situation. I feel like if I prioritise my physical health, my parts/mental health will suffer and vice versa.

A little context - I’m a 30 year old woman and I’ve never had a partner or anything in this department.

I was speaking to some of the girls from work and they were all saying they were nervous for their first times and that being nervous is normal, but it’s not that I’m nervous, I’m actually quite scared.

As in I get panicky thinking about having sex. My brain primarily goes to: what if he doesn’t stop if I ask him to? What if I get forced into doing something I don’t want to do? How do I know that I’ve got the right partner to try this out with? What if he hurts me?

I know there’s no one ‘normal’, but I guess are these thoughts common and something you’re able to get over?