u/Quick_Time878

I got my three month chip this Monday. From where I was three months ago, which was drinking whisky alone on a Monday morning while throwing back Valiums and calling the Samaritans, I can finally say that I'm proud of myself.

I wasn't so much a chaotic drinker as a I was a dependent drinker (although that Monday morning was pretty fucking chaotic). I never got drunk much and I would usually drink 3 or 4 days a weeks, but it had got to the point where I couldn't leave the house without drinking or knowing that I was going somewhere close by to drink.

In this three months of my new chapter, I have been to a gig with 50,000 people, attended dozens of meeting, made amazing new friends through AA, and finally got myself a new dream job.

This isn't some major success story, and I would say that I have had maybe ten days in the three months where I've felt reasonably happy and calm, but today is one of those days. I went to a meeting this morning, and for the first time I wasn't sharing how terrible I was feeling. The week leading up to the gig was days of panic and excuses not to go, but I did it and I wear the cap I bought there everyday as a symbol that I can engage with life soberly.

All my issues that were there with drinking are still there, but I can finally appreciate what people have been telling me this whole time, which is that bad feelings pass, no matter how apocalyptic they seem in the moment.

Good times are coming for those who can wait.

I'm trying to get a sense of where I am in terms of getting a mortgage.

I've got two defaults on my credit report: one dating from January 2023 (£1200) and one from April 2024 (£200). Both have now been satisfied.

Other than that, I've got perfect payment history on all other credit.

I'm looking to borrow for £160k with a £120k deposit.

Two questions:

1. Would it be best to wait until the January 2023 default has cleared in 2029 before looking to buy?
2. Would there be any way that I'd be able to borrow 5x my salary?

Three months sober here. I started drinking drinking when I was 16 after a few terrible experiences when weed cracked my brain and left me derealised for months. I've been using alcohol to cope ever since, mainly with anxiety and panic attacks, and now 13 years later I am turning to sobriety because it was getting out of hand.

Now I'm confronted with the thing I neglected to 13 years ago, which is that looking in the mirror and seeing that I'm alive terrifies me, knowing I'm on a planet orbiting a star in the middle of endless space makes me scared to go outside, and most of all I'm always terrified for the next panic attack.

Anyone had any similar experiences and care to share how they coped with it?

I'm approaching 30 and thinking that now might be a good time to get out of Brighton. I've spent some time in Horsham and like what I've seen but have no idea what it would be like to live there.

I've grown to hate the chaos of Brighton so would be looking for a quieter life, but still with some access to live music, sports, social groups, etc...

Any advice/thoughts would be very much appreciated.