I would like to network with italian muslims🥺. It would be really nice to talk about our problems/things in general in italy as muslims.
I dont have much hope to find someone here. But you never know💅🏽.
I 27F got matched with 25M on muzz. We had really nice respectful conversations. He was really communicative and would write in detail. He was so good in communication.
He asked me in the first days about my intentions on marriage and family involvement and shared honestly things about him that would go to the point against him. He was super transparent and honest on things and also serious for deen.
We were really attracted to eachother. He was becoming more and more serious for me with the time and i was also really happy to finally found the type of person i am looking.
He was also very supportive of my career and things i wanted to do in life and said to me multiple times that i dont have to contribute financially but i can still work if i want. He was also a great cook🥹 and would do the house chores too.
Now tell me isnt this rare???
I was starting to feel like oh man i found my dream husband🥲. I was over the moon😭.
Until 1 day he shared to me something that literally changed everything. As he is a revert he had multiple female friends that considered them his family and never left them even after becoming muslim. As he believed that the person he is today is because of his friends. He lived alone from age 18 as he had very abusive father so the friends helped him throughout the life.
I felt really sad to hear this and cried to Allah. I explained him that this is unacceptable for me and he tried to reassure me and find a middle ground. I tried to come to a middle ground but at the end i understood this is not something i can accept.
After him trying multiple times reassuring me and saying he really wanna change here too but struggling and needs help of a rightous women to get out of it, i just ended everything with heavy heart 1 day😭.
He in response wrote a really looong message with really beautiful words and thanked me sweetly on different things. He said that 1 day if he leaves his female friends he will recontact me for marriage purpose as for him i am the best temporary person until now in his life and made him realize what its like to be well treated. He hoped that if not in this life we will be together in akhirah where things will be easier😭.
Now i am feeling really heavy and tired and feel like that kind of beautiful person is rare to find nowadays. I really dont have the strenght right now to restart the search. I feel like many men nowadays lack the good qualities he had and will have tough time to find again a rare person like him or will have to do compromise.
His only bad thing was female friends but did i do wrong ending things or should have given him a chance??
Plz let me know what are your thoughts on this.
Was middle ground really worth it on that incompatibility?
Would you marry someone who still has non mahram friends?
Edit:
if i ever consider to recontact him, i have some things to think about deeply before. So i need your perspectives on that!
As it is very difficult for him to leave those friends (for reasons i mentioned before) what if he never leaves them and remains with them life time.
As muslims do you believe this is a red flag 🚩in marriage eventhough he is a revert?
Can this bring problems in relationship?
Does it affect the upbringing of the children?
I wanna know the perspective especially from someone that continued having non mahram friends after marriage.