u/Radiant-Science3676

1. Age, Gender and Height: 28, Male, 5'10"
2. Age Range that you would want/require in a prospect: Preferably 28 or below.
3. Location, and are you willing to relocate for a prospect?: Chittagong. Yes, I'm open to relocating for the right person. Since I really enjoy my current job, I'd prefer to find a similar job before moving.
4. Nationality: Bangladeshi
5. Marital Status - Single
6. Ideal marriage timeline: Anytime, if we're compatible.
7. About me: I'm a software developer who enjoys building things, learning new technologies, and exploring new places. I value honesty, mutual respect, and open communication. I prefer a simple, peaceful life and believe a strong relationship is built on trust, understanding, and shared values.
8. More about me: https://www.reddit.com/r/Chittagong/comments/1txs085/anyone_else_feel_comfortable_everywhere_except_in/
9. Must Read (important): https://www.reddit.com/r/Chittagong/comments/1unu23x/anyone_else_worried_that_their_family_history/
10. Five important characteristics you look for in a prospect: Muslim, mature, understanding, educated, and someone who appreciates a simple lifestyle.
11. State/specify your level of religiosity: Muslim. I try to practice my faith sincerely and live an honest, respectful life while continuing to improve myself. I'm not perfect, but I always try to become a better Muslim.
12. Level of education, and what are you looking for?: Any. Character, compatibility, and shared values matter much more to me than educational qualifications.
13. Current Job Status: Software Developer
14. Do you want kids? : Yes.
15. List 3 hobbies, or things you like to do in your spare time: Coding, traveling, and watching movies.
16. Add something short and interesting about you that makes you stand out! : I'm naturally introverted, but I enjoy meaningful conversations with the right people. I feel most at home when exploring new places, solving tech problems, creating new things, and appreciating the simple moments in life.
17. What are you looking for in a woman? : A Muslim woman who is kind, mature, understanding, and values a simple, peaceful life. Someone who believes in mutual respect, honest communication, and growing together through every stage of life.
18. Preferred Method of Contact: Reddit DM only.

1. Age, Gender and Height: 28, Male, 5'10"
2. Age Range that you would want/require in a prospect: Preferably 28 or below.
3. Location, and are you willing to relocate for a prospect?: Chittagong. Yes, I'm open to relocating for the right person. Since I really enjoy my current job, I'd prefer to find a similar job before moving.
4. Nationality: Bangladeshi
5. Marital Status - Single
6. Ideal marriage timeline: Anytime, if we're compatible.
7. About me: I'm a software developer who enjoys building things, learning new technologies, and exploring new places. I value honesty, mutual respect, and open communication. I prefer a simple, peaceful life and believe a strong relationship is built on trust, understanding, and shared values.
8. More about me: https://www.reddit.com/r/Chittagong/comments/1txs085/anyone_else_feel_comfortable_everywhere_except_in/
9. Must Read (important): https://www.reddit.com/r/Chittagong/comments/1unu23x/anyone_else_worried_that_their_family_history/
10. Five important characteristics you look for in a prospect: Muslim, mature, understanding, educated, and someone who appreciates a simple lifestyle.
11. State/specify your level of religiosity: Muslim. I try to practice my faith sincerely and live an honest, respectful life while continuing to improve myself. I'm not perfect, but I always try to become a better Muslim.
12. Level of education, and what are you looking for?: Any. Character, compatibility, and shared values matter much more to me than educational qualifications.
13. Current Job Status: Software Developer
14. Do you want kids? : Yes.
15. List 3 hobbies, or things you like to do in your spare time: Coding, traveling, and watching movies.
16. Add something short and interesting about you that makes you stand out! : I'm naturally introverted, but I enjoy meaningful conversations with the right people. I feel most at home when exploring new places, solving tech problems, creating new things, and appreciating the simple moments in life.
17. What are you looking for in a woman? : A Muslim woman who is kind, mature, understanding, and values a simple, peaceful life. Someone who believes in mutual respect, honest communication, and growing together through every stage of life.
18. Preferred Method of Contact: Reddit DM only.

I'm 28M, and this is something I've never really talked about.

I've always tried to live my life differently from what I grew up seeing. I avoid a lot of things—not because I'm trying to act better than anyone, but because I've seen firsthand how much damage certain behaviors can cause.

My father has done a lot of things over the years that hurt our family. I've honestly lost count. He would verbally abuse my mother and us, and sometimes it became physical, mostly towards my mother. There were also many things he did outside our family that made it difficult to respect him.

For about 27 years, my mother tried to hold the family together. She stayed silent, forgave more times than anyone should have to, and sacrificed her own happiness so that my sister and I could grow up with what looked like a "normal" family. I know now how much she endured just to protect us from society's judgment.

Last year, we finally reached our limit.

My mother, my sibling, and I left home with nothing but a few clothes and some personal belongings. We didn't take furniture or valuables. We just walked away and started over.

Thankfully, we're doing okay now. I have a software development job that I genuinely enjoy, and financially we're stable. In many ways, life is much more peaceful than it used to be.

But there's one fear that never leaves me.

I'm at the age where people expect me to get married, and I worry about how my family situation will affect that. What happens when someone asks about my father? What do I tell my future wife's family?

My biggest fear isn't that they'll think I'm like him. It's that they'll judge my entire family because of him. We don't have influential relatives, family wealth, or anyone to stand behind us. All we really have is each other and the fact that I work hard to support my family.

I worry that people will look at my family background before they look at who I am as a person. That after everything we've been through, we'll still be judged for something we had no control over.

I have the same worries for my sister. She has done nothing wrong, yet I worry that people might judge her because of our family situation instead of seeing the person she actually is.

I know we're not responsible for our parents' actions, but society doesn't always see it that way. Sometimes family history matters more than individual character, and that's what scares me.

We've worked so hard to rebuild our lives, but this is one thing I still can't stop thinking about.

Has anyone here come from a difficult or abusive family? Did it affect your marriage or relationships? If so, how did you handle those conversations with your partner or their family?

Also, if anyone wants a bit more context about who I am as a person, I made another post a few days ago about my personality and life experiences:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Chittagong/comments/1txs085/anyone_else_feel_comfortable_everywhere_except_in/

1. Age, Gender and Height: 28, Male, 5'10"
2. Age Range that you would want/require in a prospect: 18–28
3. Location, and are you willing to relocate for a prospect?: Chittagong. Yes, I'm open to relocating for the right person.
4. Nationality: Bangladeshi
5. Marital Status - Single
6. Ideal marriage timeline: Anytime, if we are compatible.
7. About me: I'm a software developer who enjoys building things, learning new technologies, and exploring new places. I value honesty, mutual respect, and clear communication. I prefer a simple, peaceful lifestyle and believe a strong relationship is built on understanding, trust, and shared values. More about me: https://www.reddit.com/r/Chittagong/comments/1txs085/anyone_else_feel_comfortable_everywhere_except_in/
8. Five important characteristics you look for in a prospect: Muslim, mature, understanding, educated, and someone who appreciates a simple lifestyle.
9. State/specify your level of religiosity: Muslim. I try to practice my faith sincerely and live an honest, respectful life while continuing to improve myself.
10. Level of education, and what are you looking for?: Any. Character, compatibility, and shared values matter more to me than formal qualifications.
11. Current Job Status: Software Developer
12. Do you want kids? : Yes
13. List 3 hobbies, or things you like to do in your spare time: Coding, traveling, and watching movies.
14. Add something short and interesting about you that makes you stand out! : I'm someone who feels most at home when exploring new places and experiences. I enjoy meaningful conversations, solving problems, and finding joy in the simple things in life. More about me: https://www.reddit.com/r/Chittagong/comments/1txs085/anyone_else_feel_comfortable_everywhere_except_in/
15. What are you looking for in a woman: A Muslim woman who is mature, understanding, educated, kind, and values a simple, peaceful life. Someone who believes in mutual respect, open communication, and growing together as partners.
16. Preferred Method of Contact: DM only