u/Radiohead_oknot

So, I am 31M and my 27F girlfriend is going through a second episode of psychosis
The first episode happened last year
And I am really confused about our future
For the first episode we were living together and during that episode she was saying a lot of things to me which really hurt me and I am actually moved on but they’re still the trauma in my head about what she was saying to me
The second episode we were in a long distance relationships everything was going good suddenly it happened again to her
FYI, she had stopped taking a medication last October

And now I’m so confused about a future because she wants to get married and coming from a Asian ethnicity both of us, it is going to be very difficult for her to send to my household since we have different language languages rituals, customs, etc

I tried talking to her and not exactly breaking up but acting distant and saying that I’m not sure about a future anymore but she gets angry. Disconnect the phone and the next day talk with me like everything is back to normal.

After a few days, I started feeling that it would still be okay but again I’m not able to move ahead and now I started to feel that is this going to be a very difficult for me in my life to deal with whatever happens with her during these episodes

Myself, I’m not going through a very good time. I have been unemployed for the last one year and moved back to my parents house and in the last whole year even when I wasn’t going through a good time I had to be strong and only support her. All of this is taking a toll with me like I did it after the first time and equal to do it for the second time, but the thought that I have to do this for all my life without actually any support from her is really killing me.

I don’t know how I shouldn’t things with her what to do up in the future ahead
I just need to talk with someone or just wanted to share all of this year

Somy 27F girlfriend and I, 30M, were living together until September last year.
This was abroad, and her parents came to visit us in August. On the day they arrived, my GF went through her first episode and didn’t sleep at all the night they were supposed to arrive.
Before that, she resigned from her job and went through a lot of problems with a toxic workplace, which really demotivated her. And I agree it was bad. She resigned in June last year.
When her parents were with us, she started with the first episode. Before that incident, she knew nothing about this and what was happening.
She started believing in black magic and that I was the one controlling her.
All of this was hard. On the 3rd or 4th day, we admitted her to the hospital, and things slowly improved but were difficult for roughly 40-45 days or so.

She moved back to our home country with her parents at the end of September.
She was prescribed Olanzapine, which she didn’t like and started reducing the dosage and stopping totally mid-October or late October.

Things were better, and she moved to another country for a new start with her PhD this year in April.
Everything was going well, and I felt she had gotten stronger than before, and everything has gotten better than it was. She was stronger and handling things which she earlier wasn’t able to even before the first episode.

But suddenly, at the later half of August this year, she had to go to a different city for work and conferences. Something like that started again. Though this time the blame wasn’t on me but rather that she is being watched by the government and probably they want to make her a spy.

She left her PhD or took a break; nothing is clear yet and moved back to her hometown at least for two months.
During this, she started the Olanzapine again and started going through tests again last week, and the doctor has prescribed her multiple medicines and drugs. ( I don’t know the name as she hasn’t shared those with me.)

But now she has gotten negative again and doesn’t like that she has to take those drugs as she thinks it will increase her body weight and is more embarrassing for her than her mental state.

I suggested that I’ll help you with the body weight later; right now focus on what’s important and that is getting by you better and having a clear mind.
But she started arguing and blaming me and has stopped talking with me and said she will contact me in two weeks if she feels like.

About her, she is a very fragile person but very much career-oriented who feels she isn’t doing much for her parents and suffers from comparing herself to others and avoiding their strengths and her own. She overthinks even the smallest bit of mistake she does and thinks she isn’t enough for the world. (She doesn’t think the same about our relationship, and though she cares and loves me, she sometimes is selfish and I’m left taking care of the smallest to biggest of her worries which I’m happy to do but out of those 365 days I also need help or understanding maybe 30-40 days which is lacking.)

We want to get married but I’m scared of what this does. We come from conservative Asian families and us getting married already has a lot of hurdles and societal pressures to cross. My parents don’t know about her state in all of this.