Hii I’m a junior this fall and I live off campus. Is anyone on campus or summer or just jobs nearby who want to hangout? All my friends went home for summer😭
I’m only 20 so I can’t go to bars or anything but I still like being social. Hmu
As a FRIENDLY post. NOT for hookups. Thank you
I’ll try and make this clear, but I’m a little emotional.
I (20F) met a guy (22M) on Reddit about 5 months ago and we became really close really fast. We moved to iMessage pretty quickly and talked every single day. We added each other on everything (Snap, Instagram, Discord, etc.) and would call for hours. like, up to 14 hours at a time sometimes. We’d fall asleep on call together, watch movies, play games, talk about literally everything.
I’m pretty socially awkward and I’ve never really had a “best friend” before, so this meant a lot to me. He’s super outgoing and confident (sometimes arrogant tbh), but being around him, even just virtually, felt easy. And he said I felt like ‘home’.
Important context: early on, he told me he didn’t see me as a romantic partner and that we wouldn’t work. I accepted that. I did start developing a bit of a crush, but I pushed it aside because I valued the friendship way more.
That said… he blurred the lines a lot. He’d compliment me constantly, use pet names, and bring up sexual stuff pretty often. At one point he suggested being friends with benefits if we ever met, but I told him no because I’m a virgin and I know I’d get emotionally attached, and I want my first time to actually mean something. He said he understood, but the flirty/sexual comments never really stopped, and I kind of just went along with it because I thought my boundaries were already clear.
We also talked about meeting up in the future, going on trips, etc. I genuinely wanted that, even just as friends.
We argued sometimes, and we’d have to take a break, our texting would slow, but then we’d be back at it the next day. Also, he said recently that he felt unappreciated/unvalued, because I implied that in the past. But I tried to explain that everything had changed. I didnt feel the same now as I had the first month. I’ll admit I spent so much time because I don’t have many other friends, but I still wouldn’t care about him as much if he was a ‘temporary’ friend. I’ll admit, I didn’t compliment him the way he complimented me. I get shy trying to express how I feel but I wanted to show it. Now I regret that.
Anyway, 4 days ago everything blew up over something small. He brought up cuddling/sex again and I said something like “you wouldn’t actually cuddle me in real life.” He asked what I meant, and I said it was a boundary, that the stuff we talked about wouldn’t happen in person.
After that he got kind of distant. The next day I apologized, and it turned into a bigger conversation where he said we argue too much and he doesn’t feel appreciated. Then it basically turned into him ending the friendship.
He said things like “there’s no point in being friends” and “we’re not compatible.” That confused me because… since when do friends need to be “compatible” like that?
I got defensive and asked why he was doing this right after I reinforced that I wouldn’t sleep with him. It honestly made me feel like that’s all I was worth to him.
He ended things, deleted me on everything, even changed our chat background. It felt like I meant nothing overnight.
I was a mess. The next day (I know this was dumb), I bought him a gift and texted him saying I couldn’t cancel it, just so he’d respond. We ended up talking again and he called me.
He said that for him, everything we were doing felt very intimate and real, and that since I wouldn’t actually do those things in person, it made him feel like it wasn’t real for me. He also said he thinks we’re heading toward falling in love but we’re not compatible, so he’d rather cut it off now.
I tried explaining that I did care about him deeply, and that my boundaries didn’t mean it wasn’t real for me. I was just trying not to get hurt or too attached.
But he still ended it.
He was saying nice things like “I’m proud of you” and “I wish you the best,” but also completely cutting me out of his life. He didn’t block me. just deleted me like I’m nobody.
And that’s honestly how I feel. Like I meant nothing.
I miss him a lot. I know this probably sounds unhealthy, but if he came back right now I’d probably take him back. I just wanted to show him how much he meant to me. Has anyone experienced this? Did they come back?
I’d like to clarify that we had been sexual on the phone before and after we had the discussion. I didn’t mind that part. And he tries to explain that this argument isn’t the reason he’s done, it was a build up of things that he hadn’t talked about.
(Sorry for the ranting or any errors)
Not even sure if I’m welcome here since this technically wasn’t even a relationship. It was a ‘friendship’ or situationship. But I stumbled on this subreddit and really wanna stop crying about this.
Yesterday my long distance best friend of 5 months decided he didn’t want to deal with me anymore. So he cut me off after we had an argument over meeting in person. An argument we already had before and I thought we were clear on. The worst part is I started the text by trying to clear things up and apologize. I should’ve just called. He might’ve been able to see how much I loved him and hesitated more if I had called. I don’t have many friends, and he was truly on of the people I’ve grown the closest with in probably ever. He knew this. But he still deleted me from everything and said have a good life. Like I meant nothing to him. Snapchat, discord, Instagram, Reddit. Gone in less than 10 minutes. Like it was so easy.
But I text him everyday, my phone is full of his pictures, and I loved him so much, I can’t stop crying. I cried myself to sleep then woke up at 4am still crying.
‘I know time heals all wounds’ but it hurts going back into that dark empty part of my life again.
All because I like a boy.