u/Rainiiday

I really missed out on the pivotal social development years, and realise I’ve never really made a friend? When I was younger people approached me and pursued me, and that’s always how I made friends, but since middle school people don’t really approach me anymore, so I really have realised that I literally do not know how to initiate a friendship myself 😭

Like there are people I like and have good conversations with, but after the whole getting acquainted small talk and wanting to be friends with them, I don’t know what else to do… Im not good at making jokes and feeling comfortable around people, so it doesn’t come naturally for me that I start treating them like a friend. Then I notice they aren’t as curious about me anymore and I am just forever stuck in the acquaintance zone.

There is this one girl I find super cool that I met in a class, and see once a week there, and I reallly want to be friends. I messaged her on social media after spontaneously coming across her account, and we sent about 3 messages back and forth that were like compliments and what not, but it took a day for her to reply to me every message, aaand idk what to do noww?

Pls help a girl out 🥺. I truly don’t know what to do and it’s making me kinda sad that it comes so naturally to everyone else. I just wanna make connectionsss

(Or non binaries!) Hi, im a girlie from Noord-Holland (close to amsterdam) looking for some likeminded people! I’m quite shy and find it hard to connect with people, but im always up for a chat, and ironically love getting to know new people! I’m really missing having likeminded girls such as myself in my life, and it feels kinda lonely (😭)

I’m not interested in friendships with men or anything romantic, so please don’t dm me in such cases!

I speak both dutch and english. Some of my interests are fashion, drawing, art, shows and cartoons, instruments, music and being creative (all my hobbies are creative hobbies and I love to try new things!). I also occasionally game. Artsy, creative alt people are my favourite type of people c:

Don’t feel pressured to dm me, even if you live further away, I love to get to know you and just casually chat it up <3

Hi, I have AvPD (not officially diagnosed because that is another process I'd have to start, but fit the description, in treatment for social anxiety and psychologist says it's something she thought about), and found this sub recently. I noticed it's very negative, which is (very) understandable, but I would like to put some positivity in the sub!

I've been dealing with this since middle school, and definitly know how tough it can be. I used to reaaally hate myself and couldn't look at myself in the mirror, let alone people in the eye. My motivation in highschool was always, "When I get out of here, it will all be better, I'll become a different person and not be so insecure!" That was the thought I had when I applied to medschool. I thought, I don't want to be like this forever, so why plan my future around it?

Now I wouldn't say it was a mistake, but it was definitely not as easy as I thought it would be. Everyday kinda sucked (lowkey hell), and not even because of the study material itself, just because going to the hospital and lecture halls and seeing people from my class and sitting alone and group projects and quiet voice and not saying anything because I was too scared and feeling embarrassed and bla bla bla you get the gist. Let alone the fact that people always described it as a course for 'social' people and people with good people skills, which I really don't have... But I was nontheless determined to get through it, and I did! As of last month I can say I officially graduated with my bachelor of medicine, without any delays!

In those three years I grew a lot. Yes it was very torturous, but I can say for certain that the end was less torturous than the beginning, which means: progress!

Yes, I kind of chose a really intense exposure therapy by putting myself in this situation, but in the end I feel like I've grown so much.

I also just applied to volunteer at an animal shelter near me, which is really scary, and took me months to muster up the courage to apply (ik ironic since I literally applied to study medicine...), and im still scared, but im really proud of myself. And hopefully it will all go good and I can get enough courage to apply to an actual medical job to prepare myself for the master.

I'm still not where I want to be, I still have periods were I feel very depressed, I still feel like garbage compared to the other students, and I'm truly quite scared for the internship master, but what I'm trying to say is, keep trying to try, even if it feels like torture. Because at the end of the day, you're gonna have to walk through deep shi t to be able to get to the other side. It's gonna feel horrible! I know it's hard. Still keep trying! (I'm even a little nervous posting this because I feel like you all will downvote me to hell lmao, but whatevs)

If anything, I hope this post can help motivate others like me.