u/Rand0m_Thoughts_

I have no clue how to describe this but I have two tics that mostly happen at the same time and it’s where I flip people off and mouth “fuck you” while also thinking “fuck you”, and like any other tic, I can’t control it. Does anyone else do this?

Hi ! I would like to start this off by saying I’m only asking if I should push for a different psychiatrist, not for a professional diagnosis. I’m aware this is Reddit and not an actual doctor’s office.

So I get super paranoid, like I start hearing things, things in my peripheral vision starts turning into whatever I’m paranoid about, and I start feeling things. I wouldn’t say it affects me all the time but I haven’t gone a full week without getting paranoid in years. A lot of the things I get paranoid about is the following:
•Bugs. If I see one, then suddenly they’re on me, and they’ve infested my house and the only way I’ll be able to get rid of it is by moving and leaving all of my things.
•Rats. Just the sound that could be a rat gets me paranoid. If I hear something that could be a rat, I check everywhere and then refuse to go into that room until I have to because I know it’s not real but it just gives me too much anxiety. The worst part is because it’s not real it follows me to whatever room I’m in.
•Silence. If it’s quiet I hear things because apparently my mind just can’t enjoy quiet. This one specifically trails back to my ptsd, where I hear things like doors slamming, yelling, footsteps, etc.
•Being alone. I refuse to believe I’m ever actually alone and instead am being stalked by my dad, my ex, or my cousin, or sometimes I’ll convince myself it’s just a guy who really wants to stalk someone. I carry a bat for this and keep all my doors and windows closed and locked and every window has a curtain or I get super paranoid. I’ve hidden in my mom’s bathroom because of this.
•any holes anywhere. I get extremely paranoid that there’s cameras or my house has been tapped or my landlord is a pervert, and I usually tear apart my room once a month to look for them. It’s not usually something I’m fully aware I’m doing, just “I have to catch him” sort of thing.

I also get paranoid over my dogs getting shot or mauled so I would keep them inside for days. I do not own dogs anymore. There’s definitely some more but this is all I can think of as of right now. The reason I ask if it could just be my anxiety is because that’s what my mom and doctor have said, but I have a history of paranoid schizophrenia in my family, where she also only had hallucinations when paranoid, but she was just constantly paranoid. Anyways, I think that’s all, should I find a different doctor ?

in November of 2024, I attempted suicide. I woke up, and after being clean for months, I cut myself. I went to school and knew this would be my last day. I wasn’t myself that day. it was genuinely scary. all I thought about was killing myself. I’d been like this before, at least the suicidal part. I’d been to the psych ward, but when I did I played it as a game. I didn’t feel human or even alive. I convinced myself I was more of an alien or a video game character designed to act human and that I’d done it well enough that I even convinced myself. I played with my life as a game like I was in a movie. I convinced myself I was a movie character; Truman style. but this was different. I wasn’t myself. I woke up and I didn’t have a single thought except that I was going to kill myself. I went through my day as normal, but whatever came out of my mouth wasn’t what I was thinking. imagine playing a game and you can only control one thing you say, then the game chooses the rest for you. I got home and I went to my room immediately. I stayed in there until night relapsing and thinking about how I was going to kill myself. at exactly 10:00 I attempted suicide. then I was out of it. I realized what I’d done and got scared. I told my dad and he waited for my mom to get home where they drove me to the hospital. I was admitted into the psych ward that night. after that it was like I was a different person. I never attempted again. I didn’t see my life as a game and I didn’t see my mental health as one anymore. I’m not sure what happened. is this a known issue or am I just a freak or something?

I’m starting therapy soon, and I know we’re going to have to answer what my biggest trigger to trying to commit suicide is. And it’s math. It’s dumb, believe me, but the reason it’s a trigger is because it’s feels genuinely impossible for me to do it. As in, I’ve had extra tutors, extra class time, everything you can think of to learn math, since the first grade and I didn’t. I’m 16 and have to pause for addition and get a sense of dread every time I have to do subtraction, and I literally can’t do multiplication and division. In 7th grade, had a teacher drill it into my head that the only way I could live was by being homeless because I wasn’t going to make it anywhere without being able to learn math. This caused me to be extremely suicidal. Now, I barely even try to do it because every time I do it triggers me and I begin planning my suicide. Now, I’d explain it like that but every time I do I get brushed off except this is a genuine issue I want to get help with. So any advice on how to make it sound less dumb/overreactive?

My dog just got to a baby bird and broke his leg and wing, he’s still alive. The vet is way too expensive for us and the animal rehabilitation center is closed. What do I do to keep him alive until tomorrow when it opens? I currently have him in my yard on a frisbee with his mom right by him, I’m freaking out, any help is wanted.

Last year I had an English teacher with Tourette’s and I think I developed one of his. Is that possible?

I’m so tired of people not understanding, and not being able to cut off anyone who refuses to understand. It’s getting hard living with the ability to control my body only 85% of the time. It’s getting old. And I feel bad for saying that because I think my tics only fall under the mild part and they haven’t caused me to be blind or anything(I’ve heard stories of people’s tics causing their eye sight to erode) but it’s genuinely getting so hard. I keep getting stares, no one believes me even though I’ve gotten diagnosed, and they won’t stop mentioning it even when I ask not to. My body hurts, it’s tired, I have bruises all over my arms. People think I’m rude because I flip people off or curse, they think I’m purposely being disrespectful when I have a loud tic during a test, and no one respects my accommodations. Literally today I was in choir asking my teacher to be moved to the side of the stands because I have one that causes me to walk back, and she refused and at some point I had that and fell on the stupid risers to which she LITERALLY GOT MAD AT ME FOR?? I WARNED UOU?? Or in English I have one where I can’t read out loud because my old teacher(who I’m very grateful for because he had Tourette’s) noticed it was hard for me to speak sometimes and so I have an accommodation where I only read if I want to AND MY TEACHERS DON’T LISTEN TO IT. And I also have one where I don’t do presentations in front of a class or at all because it usually raises my anxiety so high that I either pass out or have a tic attack and my teacher said “well I think you should face your fears” and guess what? I HAD A FUCKING TIC ATTACK AND SHE ACTED SO SURPRISED LIKE LISTEN TO ME!!! I GET IT, IM A TEEN, BUT THIS IS A CHRONIC FUCKING ILLNESS BRO!!! Km just so tired of no one listening to me, and I’m tired of getting told I’m a faker, and I’m tired of being exhausted by the end of the day, and I’m tired of begging every day to just wake up and be normal again. I wish I could go to the future and ask if I’ll get better. I’m tired of being different.

I get people try to help when they mention media that has Tourette’s, and it was nice at first, but now hearing it once a week for a two years just gets old. Yes, I’ve heard of the girl that starred on doctor phill, and I heard of the movie, and I did watch that South Park episode, and I know of Tics and Roses, please stop telling me. I feel very grateful about it, don’t get me wrong, but hearing it for so long just gets old.

I recently moved schools and explained to my very religious choir teacher that I can’t just stop moving and obviously she asked why so I explained that I have Tourette’s and at the end of class we pray(I live in the Bible Belt and go to a school FULL of Christian’s) and after people asked for us to pray for her we started praying and she said “and for -my name- and for her virus to be cured.” It was one of the few times I’ve been genuinely ashamed of having them. Since developing them I’ve had some tough times, sure, but not once have I been put on the spot like that.