u/RandomDude007_

Hi all, recent divorcee here (male) and seeing a great woman (52) for the best part of a year. I don’t want to upset her so asking here first.

She’s had a few incontinence episodes both during sex and while we are out socialising. No big deal.

She also told me about a partial hysterectomy and a minor medical procedure she had subsequently but we didn’t get into the details. I would guess with the incontinence (& the mention of the procedure) she may have a mesh. She also tells me she has the coil but not for birth control.

Anyway here’s the question, when we have sex I can feel something rubbing against my penis, I had to stop last night as the sensation was too much for me.

I have an idea it’s related to either the coil strings or the mesh. Obviously I’m going to speak with her about it but just wanted to understand if this is a known issue? I don’t want to upset her or send her off on a costly unneeded investigation, that’s why I’m asking here.

After being callously discarded by my wife of 27 years who filed and refused any sort of counselling etc. I started seeing an attractive local woman, a widow.

I’m still cohabiting with my wife and 3 children so it’s not ideal but moving on with someone has been a great distraction and has brought me a lot of comfort.

This woman I’m seeing for the last 3 months has been on Tinder for an age and has seen a lot of men. I’m also aware she had a regular thing with a married man up to a year ago.

Our relationship has been totally positive so far and I did feel she had feelings for me, she had told me numerous times she loves me and I’ve met her children many times.

I noticed over the time we have been seeing each other she’s been uncontactable on certain nights of the week and then has the most odd range of excuses, or worse no excuse at all. She cites tiredness a lot, including going to bed at 9pm, yet is fit and healthy

This contrasts with every other night where she’s totally available. The difference is stark.

She also dropped the ball recently by referring to an intimate moment we had taking place somewhere else, when challenged she changed the subject.

I’m now firmly convinced she’s seeing someone else. Maybe a married man as she’s never available on Monday or Thursday evenings but is the rest of the time.

Given I’ve just told my children I’m seeing her this is disappointing to say the least. As it’s only going on 4 months cutting this off early while difficult will no doubt be the best for all.

Thoughts?

After a pretty brutal discard by my narcissistic wife 16 months ago I’ve recently met someone else. Things are going well with this woman and she’s very supportive.

I’m in a country where divorce takes at least two years to go through.

If the husband moves out of the family home however wives are well known to dig their heels in and slow down the process. It’s not unusual for things to then take 10 years. This is while you are paying all the bills and denied access to the home. It also sets the precedent for the asset split, if he’s happy in an apartment let him stay there and award her the house.

Legal advice is whatever you do, don’t move out from the family home until the settlement is agreed.

My wife has been horrible, accusing me of intimidation, she’s living in fear etc while refusing to pay anything towards household costs. She’s also done her best to alienate the children against me. She’s refusing mediation and wants her day in court for some bizarre reason.

Anyway we’ve two young adults and one 16 year old at home, they’ve really shunned me since I’ve told them about my new partner despite the time that’s passed since my wife filed and knowing fully it was my wife who wanted out.

Before the pile on about waiting until the divorce has come through I’m not getting younger, I’ve survived a crappy marriage with a dead bedroom for at least a decade, time is not on my side and I’ve lived enough years of misery with this woman who was never happy.

Anyone else been through this scenario ?