u/RandomThoughts9999

Hi everyone!

I hope I am explaining this right.

Today I scrolled past by a reel where a person had labeled themself as she/they/he, mentioned they were a lesbian, and married to man. Their husband is a trans man and also calls himself a lesbian.

The comment section was WILD. People saying a man can’t be a lesbian, how it was rude, etc. Others said transmasc lesbians have always existed. They mentioned a lot of abbreviations I also don’t understand (“gnc trans lesbians” or “cishet man” or “afab” or “enby lesbians” and said it’s been a part of queer history.

I’ve not been out that long as a lesbian, and my queer community is pretty much non-existing, and my native language is not English, but honestly, I am just severely confused by all the abbreviations. I thought men can’t be lesbians? I always understood it as, women love women? And if you are a trans man, you are a men, so you can’t be a lesbian? Or does it mean their partner still seems them as female (which seems also a bit rude?).

Please keep in mind I am in no way trying to judge someone’s identity, I’m honestly just asking here because I tried to Google and got even MORE confused, so if anyone would explain in a language a toddler could understand? 🤡😂😭

The Instagram account was indigenousprincessdiaries.

I am super sorry if I upset anyone with my question, I really don’t mean any disrespect. I am just here to learn, and try and understand, because I want to prevent making mistakes in the future and hurting someone’s feelings!

Hi all!
I play Spiritfarer on the Switch 1. I finally got the zip skill and am in the Kalstein Mines, but the zip just doesn’t work properly. I have been stuck here for so long, I literally have been trying for a couple of days. I found an exit today, but all I found so far is 2 marble rocks.
Are these mines really worth exploring more, or can I just skip the rest? At this point I really don’t care about collectibles, this stupid skill makes me lose all my patience and I’m tempted to stop playing altogether if I need to use this skill more often…

Why didn’t they make it as easy as jumping and floating? 😭 I hate this skill SO much, it makes me lowkey hate the game as well…

Hi all,

I was talking in my bookclub about arcs and Netgalley when an interesting discussion popped up. One of the members said that she doesn’t trust any reviews that say it’s an arc or from Netgalley. I was a bit surprised and asked her why, to which she answered something along the lines of Netgalley pushing people to give good reviews (the 80% “rule”) and then that sometimes when people are given an arc, they need to give a 3+ star review. I did see that last claim on Reddit as well.

She furthermore said that she felt that a lot of people just collect books and arcs, but don’t actually read them. Apparently on TikTok it’s also a bit of a “scandal” that comes back once in a while, where people think that certain Booktokkers didn’t read the book. I’m not on TikTok, so I don’t know anything about that.
The member pointed out some reviews that are very vague and don’t say anything about the book. They will say it’s an amazing read, a lovely story, but nothing about the actual story or chemistry or world building. Some reviews indeed seemed either AI-generated or just as if the person hadn’t read the story. It’s not even about avoiding spoilers, but reviews that could be for any book, e.g. you could put it “The Secret History” but also at “Icebreaker”. That kind of vague.

She felt that people lied just so they could keep getting arcs, and are waiting for certain authors or arcs, while not caring about the rest.

I just started a Bookstagram a while ago and read my first arc, so I wasn’t sure how to respond. How do you feel about it? Have you ever faked a review (if you feel comfortable sharing)? I understand her criticism though, and now I have mixed feelings about using NetGalley…

EDIT: thank you for all the comments. I now know NetGalley asks you to review at least 80% of the books you request. A fair criticism is that some people ask for many arcs and then have to rush, potentially not finish reading it or giving a general review.
I am glad to know however that so many of you are just honest, thank NetGalley because it’s polite. Many of you mentioned to read 3-stars review when in doubt and to check the other ratings the person has given. We’re not meeting up for another month in this bookclub, but I will be broaching the topic again when we’re all together, because I am curious now about more things on her opinion, now that I know more, e.g. how the 80% rule actually works and that while there might be a rotten apple somewhere, everyone here seems to be honest! Thank you everyone who replied so far! I will not let it influence me any longer ☺️

UPDATE: I told the bookclub member that I asked on Reddit as I felt a bit conflicted after our talk. She first apologised for making me feel conflicted (which was very sweet and not even needed, though I appreciate it). When I told her about the 80% rule, she first said, “but don’t people then rush anyway to make sure they reach 80% of all of their requested arcs?” and then I send her a link to this subreddit. She was SHOCKED by all the replies and called me while she read through them, hahaha! She mostly reads romance, fantasy and some contemporary literature btw. She did wonder why, if people were so strict, she always saw such generic reviews with 5 stars, but thought that might either be because of the genre of those reviews get the most likes and then pops up. In any case, she was very surprised to learn that NetGalley reviews are often more stricter than a usual Goodreads/Amazon and now learned about how sometimes (indie) authors can approach people with certain conditions. She doesn’t have reddit, but asked me to pass along this message (copied from our chat):

Hi everyone! I am sorry for assuming a lot of things about netgalley reviews. I really thought the exact opposite of it! Sorry if I offended anyone with my opinion, and now that I think differently now. Thank you so much for replying to this discussion. I have learned so much and will definitely not disregard a book or review when I see it was an arc through netgalley anymore!

I recently joined Bookstagram and Netgalley. I requested an arc of a book and got approved. As NetGalley suggested, I also put it on my Instagram stories and such. The author even replied and said they hoped I enjoyed it 🤡

It’s my first arc, and I requested it because the blurb sounded super cool. It was also highly requested. However…

I absolutely hate it?

It’s super fast paced, bad jokes, and I struggle to get through it. Everything is so FLAT. On the other hand, it’s a good idea, good diversity, a cool plot. I really want to like it. But right now, I think if I stretch it I could give it 3 stars. It’s entertaining bad tbh.
But isn’t that super low for a first arc review?

What do I do????

I am also super confused in general when I am allowed to upload a review. Goodreads is still completely empty and the publishing date is not even that far.

EDIT: thank you so much to everyone who replied! I was so worried that if I posted a more negative review, it would affect me in the future (which is why I wanted to stretch it to 3 stars). Your advice has all been so helpful! For now, I will try and finish the book and then leave it be for a bit. See if I can try to write a review that is honest, has good arguments, etc. I will not post it on Instagram and I might wait until it has some hits on Goodreads before I post anything.
Thank you all so much ❤️