u/Realistic_Load_5369

There's one thing I don't get. Obviously this may differ in different countries, so take the description with a pinch of salt, but... My grandparents' generation for sure experienced regular beatings, fathers in those times barely spent any time at home and I doubt they paid much attention to their kids as that was seen as the mother's job, older siblings helped with younger ones, many more experienced the death of a sibling due to illnesses, lots of families struggled with food, the kids did not grow up in luxury, their emotions didn't matter much, they just had to be good kids who obeyed the adults in their life. So how come they grew up untraumatised? Or did they not? Obviously I know trauma gets passed down in families, but I feel like basically everyone of the generation of my grandparents and the generations before should be traumatised. Were people just tougher back then? I hope this post is not insensitive, it is not meant to be.

Tl;dr: Could the fact that my father coerced my mum into having sex with him while she was in labour with me, have affected me?

I have issues with intimacy, body boundaries and my own body in general. I've been doing CBT for over 6 months and together with my therapist, I've uncovered a lot of covert grooming behaviours/actions of my father in the past. But I can't remember him ever crossing the overt SA line.

Yesterday, I had my first Somatic Experiencing session and I told the SE therapist that just before I was born, as my mother went into labour, my father, who had wanted my mum to abort me, forced her to have sex with him as a condition for taking her to hospital.

Upon hearing this, the SE therapist said something along the lines of: "That's the moment your father raped you." But is there any way that that could have affected me? I mean, I was not at the time conscious of what sex, let alone rape, was... I did like the session otherwise, but this part seemed a bit far fetched? Obviously, my mum was also in a lot of stress while she was pregnant with me, and I believe they had regular sex throughout the pregnancy (perhaps forced by him towards the end), and I know that that stress can affect the baby in the womb, but I just find it hard to believe that this particular incident could have affected me so much. Or maybe it's the knowledge of it, rather than the act itself?