r/CPTSDmemes

"Leave the kids alone" yet you didn't fucking leave me alone when I was one. You DON'T fucking leave me alone when I am no longer one. No, it was not enough for you to mangle my body with depriving me of urgent medical care, blockers and early or any transition, and take away decades of my life, you have to keep polluting it forever, and you dare demand for another kid to be left alone in your presence again?

Sure, they might have liked me just because I was a good child, but at least they liked me, right? The attention was essential to my being. I can't imagine surviving being a "naughty child" at school. I needed my teachers' love, since I wouldn't get **anything** at home

My abuser coerced me into having sex with other people (multiple) when I clearly and unequivocally said No (multiple times) in addition to so many more “minor” sexual acts.

When I was processing it in couples therapy with them (yup, you read that right, I was so confused that I actually thought counseling would help) I even said sex with them afterwards always felt like rape and still didn’t get it until society started talking about sexual coercion as abuse.

Now, I have to coparent our preteen daughter with this piece of trash, and just finished a particularly distressing conversation about setting boundaries where he kept talking about how his house is “sex positive” and told me, yet again, that there isn’t anything wrong with sexual activities just to keep your partner happy and that is what he wants to teach her, which is verbatim the argument that he made as to why I was the one in the wrong. He is very literally setting her up to be fucking abused.

I literally have no idea how to stop spiraling right now. My entire nervous system is in absolute overdrive. I am typing because I have no other way to process this fucked up situation.

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How tf do you open up to therapists, i am so fucking "self- aware" of how i got here yet I can't stop pulling my hair out (literally). I'm taking a break from therapy because it's feeling like work that I'm paying to show up for. I'm not even sure where to start when I get assigned a new therapist, the open ended questions they start with make me wanna get up and walk out most of the time.

Loud

(Sorry I felt like my last post wasn’t worded well!)

jewelry*

The impact of female relatives who always told me I was ugly and that "no one would want to stick their dick inside of me" (mind you I was 12 and being molested by my father and cousin)