u/ivy_interior

can be happy or sad

My cat Michael HATES cars. Won't stop meowing, pants, the whole nine yards. It's heartbreaking, worrisome, and at the very least annoying.

I need to take him to the vet for a checkup soon and am tired of spending $40-60 on ubers to and fro on top of the vet costs.

I've never taken him on the train before because I assume it would be way more terrifying for him due to the screeching sounds and occasional lurches. I'd be sure to take him outside of rush hour to avoid adding crowding on top of that.

I'd really appreciate if anyone can share their experience with this.

3 year relationship, talked about getting married up to a week before he ended it. I thought he was the love of my life. We broke up 4 weeks ago. I struggle with BPD, bipolar 1, and significant complex ptsd. Despite being in individual and group therapy weekly and on meds for the past 15 years, I was not getting better. Things would be great, we loved each other so much, then something would trigger me and instantly I would snap and lash out at him. He always said he would never leave me as long as I continued actively getting help. But these episodes got worse and worse. The last one broke him. It broke us. I knew it as it was happening. I was destroying us.

Relationships are my biggest trigger (rape trauma from high school and legendary daddy issues) and the longest I’ve been single in 20 years is 4 months. I don’t trust love and deep down don’t believe I am worthy of love. And he loved me better than anyone. He spent 3 years trying to convince me he wouldn’t leave me. I can’t imagine how beyond exhausting that was.

The breakup itself was beautiful. There was no anger on either side. We just cried. We cried together for 3 hours. It was beautiful and it was horrible. I felt like I was dying.

I am so proud of him. He has always put others before himself, especially me. He is such a kind, compassionate person. I just want him to be happy.

We have been no contact since the day I walked him down the stairs and out the door of my apartment and stood in the rain with him waiting for his Lyft.

It’s been 4 weeks. I haven’t reached out. For people familiar with BPD, this is unprecedented for me. I am so proud of myself. Something i have maybe never said.

This is the most painful experience of my life. And I have had an extremely painful life. But I think I have learned what love is. I love him so much that I would rather never see him again than continue to hurt him.

Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system. [number] is not available. Please leave a message after the tone.

I’ve heard it a million times and associate it with boyfriends ignoring me or, more benevolently, taking space after I have a brutal outburst.

No matter who I’m calling I hang up quickly as soon as she starts her script. My heart hurts too much.