u/RecognitionIll2559

I heard this is a common thing in any toxic household but I was curious if it's also a common issue in African households. Basically scapegoating is a form of abuse where the parent(s) use one child as a punching bag, whether that be emotionally, physically, or both. Sometimes the scapegoat is the same child all the time. Sometimes who takes the role of the scapegoat cycles, so in my case it was my sister before, now it's me for about 2 years.

Everything is my fault. If there's no food in the house after I come home late from work, it's my fault even if my other siblings were at home all day. If something breaks down and I don't fix it immediately it's my fault for not acting sooner when others are more than capable of helping. Their DEMEANOR will quite literally light up once they're talking to a sibling who isn't me. The fuck?

Unfortunately it results in me being stressed all the time because I do a lot of extracurriculars (im in college) and work part time. Then after all that I come home and do some more work. And even if there isn't much to do at home it's like the air itself is thick with tension and conflict and I just can't relax. My health is suffering because of it, but I can't change my situation until I graduate so I've just been ignoring it.

I can't bring myself to value my own accomplishments anymore either. Like I've done a lot of good things so far this year and I don't even care. People in my social circle ask me if I celebrate my wins and I just lie. I don't celebrate shittt I feel nothing but minor relief then I get straight back to work. Cause if I don't I'll feel that extra spicy scapegoating.

Haha sometimes

Yeah

Wait, isn't this kind of insane?

Man

Scapegoating is the worst thing ever