I know this sub isn’t really active but I’m desperate and thought I’d give it a shot.
Uninsured in bk heights and looking for local or at least western bk doc that is ok with payment plans and trustworthy
Have had some health scares of late and need blood work but can’t afford to pay thousands at once.
Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated
In lieu of tanning and bikinis I have elected to spend the next week Howard Hughes maxxing. I will be laying in bed in a dark cold room contemplating my existence and occasionally sending emails to not go broke (modern version).
I will subsist on a combination of sliced meat, liquor and tums.
I do not own a lacy nightgown and English breakfast tea gives me heartburn so there will be some aesthetic revisions. Nevertheless, I will persevere dramatically but not irritate my boyfriend too much.
Love the new wuthering heights soundtrack
Worked all weekend so I decided I could take today “off”. Just been laying in bed and slowly having some tequila. Accidentally drank too much caffeine which has made me anxious af, so you guessed it- tequila to calm down.
Haven’t eaten yet, pretending I’m intermittent fasting. I will need to put pants on the receive grocery delivery in an hour I suppose.
Mostly just typing this out because I’m a hypochondriac and am constantly afraid of seizures and am googling organ locations like a crazy bitch. I swear the neurosis is more damaging than the actual addiction sometimes.
Anyway hope everyone is staying cool and I’ve enjoying watching all the Scottish World Cup fans be absolutely wholesome degens
Our building house rules mandate all rooms other than kitchen and bath too be carpeted or have rugs down. My upstairs neighbors seem to think this doesn’t apply to them and are banging on exposed hardwood all day.
I am woken up every single morning. They interrupt work calls and are constantly slamming and dropping heaving objects that echo. The stomping is so heavy that it shakes our glassware and lights.
I have spoken with them 3 times and they just play dumb about the issue.
Is the next step reporting their lack of rugs to the board? I am staying with family and not formally on the lease so I’m worried about rocking the boat but I am at my wits end. I’m literally startled awake every day by what sounds like someone hammering our ceiling…
And yes I run 3 fans, white noise machine + earplugs and they are louder than all of that…
Prompted by Father’s Day- my dad passed almost 15 years ago but he’s in a dream at least once a week.
When I’m really stressed out I have dreams about not being able to stand up and falling and crawling.
I also embraced I broke my brain when I started to have alcohol in my dreams. I dreamt I’d gathered all my empties into a paper bag but not disposed of them- woke up panicked and had to actually check that wasn’t the case.
Last night I had a dream about wandering around an adjacent neighborhood. Walked into a liquor store doing prosecco tastings and almost fell asleep in the store. They gave me a free bottle lol.
I miss imaginative dreams about like dragons and exotic lands. Instead mine are realistic and anxiety inducing.
Might up the melatonin for kicks…
So glad I just found this sub! I’m 35F and have finally scared myself enough to get serious about this.
Over the past 6 months my health has definitely taken a hit. I’ve been having terrible anxiety going outside and feel very weak in my legs and my feet feel strange.
Not throwing up, hungover, no red flags digestive wise but I can tell something’s off. I think I’m very vitamin deficient.
I’ve never had a big appetite so adding booze on top was bad.
At my peak I’d say I was drinking 500ml of liquor over the course of 24 hours. I breathalyze myself and the highest I’ve ever blown is .13 but normally I’m always .08 or below… just rarely 0 for long.
I felt so weak yesterday I couldn’t even walk half a mile home and got a cab.
No one in my life knows how bad it’s gotten. I need to cut back, eat more and start moving around more (been anxiety bed rotting over all this).
I’m actually keeping track of drinks today to kick off a taper and get real with myself.
Happy Friday to everyone and good luck 🍀
I have been getting everything delivered which is absolutely ridiculous since I used to NEVER use delivery service$$$
I live a 10 minute walk from the grocery store and liquor store and somehow my anxiety is so bad I can’t manage that. I keep getting really freaked out when I’m walking outside and feel like I’m gonna have a panic attack. Largely related to having foot tingles and assuming I’ve cooked my nerves.
I’m literally not even drunk, just blew a .04, apparently I’m just insane. Anyway I have to do some writing and pick up a package and I’m dreading going out.
Should probably invest in a therapist and podiatrist instead of screaming into the void here with my nonsense and giving too much money to uber.
Anywayssss if anyone has neuropathy and you’ve got a good cream to wake up your toes I’d love to know.
Update: I went outside lol. Thank you all for humoring me and being kind
I mean as far as consequences go this a pretty light one but still a wake up call. Never been to the hospital, jail or blown up relationships but I haven’t been taking care of myself.
I thought getting my hair done might kickstart a better self care routine but I’ve just been bed rotting for a week. I think I can get it out with conditioner and patience but still a sad state of affairs.
Definitely feel like I’ve crossed the line of what qualifies as functional despite work going well and family saying how proud of me they are.
I got white claw delivered because I was too anxious to go outside. I used to love to go to the gym and walk for miles and miles… now I have a two block radius and mild panic.
I havent confided in anyone in my life because I’m embarrassed. I show up for everyone except myself.
Gonna try to get rolling on a lovely summer glow up both physical and mental.
Anyway, happy Thursday & take your vitamins
Think I’ve managed to deep fry my nervous system- almost just had a panic attack walking to and shopping at the grocery store. It feels like all I can manage is laying in bed and working on my laptop. The feet tingles freak me out.
I used to love walking around and exploring, the gym, spas, shopping, etc. now I have to hype myself to go outside.
I can’t afford detox so I think I need a one way ticket to taper town. When your cute to anxiety becomes the cause of it it’s really a snake eating it’s own tail situation…
Anyway, here’s to better days…
I had a work meeting this morning like a 5 min walk from my house. Went well enough and I felt fine, little tweaky but whatever. On my way out I suddenly started to feel too dizzy to cross the street- was hanging onto various railings.
Decided to sit down on a bench for a sec and try to calm down cuz I spiral into panic attacks easily. Of course it’s 90 degrees out so that’s not helping. I move to a bench in the shade after trying to rally to walk home… like literally just up a hill. But high traffic area and I was worried about passing out and hurting myself on concrete as one does.
I gave up and called an uber. When he arrives I stand up and immediately feel dizzy and shaky and like my legs don’t work right. This angel of a woman stranger escorts me to the car and opens the door.
I told the driver I was sick so he took the longer route that put me directly at my door and helped me out.
My building super sees me leaning on the railing and walking like Frankenstein and helps me into the elevator… he’s new and I imagine he already thinks I’m crazy (not wrong).
Try to eat a pear and vomit on the carpet before making it to the bathroom.
Supposed to turn in a work project by end of day and I’m just in a ball with a heating pad ranting here instead. I’m very grateful that despite drinking am-pm I haven’t blown up my life (yet)
2 heavy pour drinks later I’m feeling better. It’s scary that not drinking enough might have made me sick. Oh to be a weekend warrior puking from overconsumption.
Anyway sorry for the rant, was just very freaked out about not being able to walk 0.5 miles and needed to vent- was nice to know if I’m in a bad way people will help
Well this is a new one- for the past couple days I’ve had a high pitched ringing in my ears, especially in the morning. I thought it might be from my cheap led lights but doesn’t seem to be it. It’s not super loud but enough to be annoying. I am also super sound sensitive so it might just be “room tone”…?
I don’t notice it when I’m outside and distracted so it might just be me being a nut nut also. im not near any kind of large industrial things (unless they’re hidden lol) so it seems strange.
Anyway if this is my descent into paranoid psychosis I will make sure to draw up a manifesto and my thoughts on aliens.
Happy Saturday
I used to be tapped into the underground scene but haven’t been for a while now. Does anyone have recommendations for female rappers with a dark vibe? I know Amber London already but haven’t been paying attention to any up and coming.
After having some weird health problems back in December I basically took to bed for a month. Ever since then I have been spending a lot less time outside. I used to like sitting in the park and walking all over different neighborhoods. I liked tanning in the sun.
I quit my gym cuz it was too far away all of a sudden to me. I haven’t been outside today, really just been napping on and off procrastinating work. I need to get up and get groceries but I’m just lying in bed with a heating pad and stomach bubbles.
I work remote so I’m really not forced to go anywhere aside from getting food and drink. I think maybe I need more caffeine in my life. I quit coffee as to not further antagonize my stomach.
Anyway, suppose I’ll finish my tequila Diet Coke and start my day at 6:30pm lol. I guess at least I can’t get in too much trouble if I’m just staying inside- aside from you know, ravaging my organs. Maybe when the weathers nicer I will emerge from my cave like a hungry bear.
I feel kinda pathetic because I live in a beautiful neighborhood and am an able bodied young(ish) person- just have been choosing to lay in bed with the blinds drawn all day