u/Regular_Intern4589

My ex (31M) and I have been emotionally involved on and off for 3 years. We’re deeply compatible, he’s repeatedly told me I’m the best partner for him, wife material, etc., and over the past year we stayed very emotionally connected (daily contact, trips together, future talks, strong intimacy). He moved to another country 2y ago but I’m quite flexible.
The issue: for a whole year he’s also kept saying he’s not ready, overwhelmed, has too much going on, and doesn’t even have space for himself mentally. Whenever I ask for clarity, he freezes/goes quiet.
Recently we finally broke down because the ambiguity was killing me. He responded saying:
I did nothing wrong, I was perfect, he doesn’t want me out of his life and this is purely about him wanting to be alone right now.
After calming down, I told him I realized my pain was less about needing clarity and more about feeling rejected by someone I love deeply. He responded gently again and clarified that it’s not rejection.
My question:
Can someone genuinely love/value someone and still stay emotionally stuck like this for over a year? Or is “not ready” for that long basically just a soft rejection?

My ex (31M) and I have been emotionally involved on and off for 3 years. We’re deeply compatible, he’s repeatedly told me I’m the best partner for him, wife material, etc., and over the past year we stayed very emotionally connected (daily contact, trips together, future talks, strong intimacy). He moved to another country 2y ago but I’m quite flexible.
The issue: for a whole year he’s also kept saying he’s not ready, overwhelmed, has too much going on, and doesn’t even have space for himself mentally. Whenever I ask for clarity, he freezes/goes quiet.
Recently we finally broke down because the ambiguity was killing me. He responded saying:
I did nothing wrong, I was perfect, he doesn’t want me out of his life and this is purely about him wanting to be alone right now.
After calming down, I told him I realized my pain was less about needing clarity and more about feeling rejected by someone I love deeply. He responded gently again and clarified that it’s not rejection.
My question:
Can someone genuinely love/value someone and still stay emotionally stuck like this for over a year? Or is “not ready” for that long basically just a soft rejection?