u/ReliefFree7223

**Am I crazy for thinking “mixed is mixed”? I don’t think I’ll ever consider myself just one race.**
I’ve been thinking about this after seeing a discussion online about mixed people and racial identity.
Maybe I’m the odd one out, but I don’t understand why people get so adamant about taking someone who is literally mixed and insisting they are *only* one race.
Both of my parents are mixed. One of my parents comes from two racial backgrounds, and my dad comes from three. So what does that make me? Mixed. Multiracial. 😂
Obviously I can break down my individual ethnicities and ancestry and say, “I’m this, this, this, and this.” I’m not denying any part of my background.
But I don’t think I will ever look at myself and say I am exclusively one race when my actual family tree says otherwise.
And I think that’s what throws me off when people say things like, “No, that person is BLACK. Period.” about someone with, for example, a Black parent and a white parent.
They absolutely can identify as Black. I’m not arguing that they can’t. They may have been raised in Black culture, be perceived as Black, and feel much more connected to that side of themselves.
But they’re still mixed. Their white parent didn’t disappear from their ancestry just because they identify more strongly with their Black side.
To me, **mixed is mixed.** It doesn’t mean you’re rejecting either side. It means both sides are literally part of you.
Am I looking at this too literally? Do other mixed/multiracial people feel the same way, or do you consider yourself primarily one race despite having parents from different racial backgrounds?

I’m looking for some outside opinions because I’m not sure if I’m being petty or if my feelings are valid.
My cousin was originally planning to go out of town for professional maternity photos with a photographer she had hired. Those plans fell through, so she asked if I could take her maternity portraits instead.
Photography has always been a hobby of mine, but I’m not just someone who owns a camera. I’ve photographed maternity sessions before, taken wedding photos, and people regularly ask me to take their portraits because they like my work. I know composition, lighting, posing, and editing. I wouldn’t call myself a full-time professional, but I definitely know what I’m doing.
I agreed to do the session for free because she’s family and I love her.
After the shoot, I uploaded everything to my computer and there were around 500 photos. Honestly, I surprised myself. The pictures turned out incredible. They genuinely look like something you’d expect from a photographer charging hundreds of dollars.
Here’s where my feelings started getting mixed.
Right after the session, she was asking if she could get the pictures that night. Then she asked if she could just get all of the photos unedited because she didn’t care about editing.
Part of me was thinking, a professional photographer probably would’ve taken at least a week to deliver the gallery, carefully selected the best images, and delivered maybe 50 to 100 edited photos, not every single shot.
I also didn’t really want to hand over 500 images because I don’t want my name attached to photos where someone blinked, the focus missed slightly, or the composition isn’t as strong. I’d rather curate the gallery and only deliver the images I’m proud of.
The other thing that’s bothering me, and I’m almost embarrassed to admit it, is that I couldn’t stop thinking about how she would’ve happily paid another photographer hundreds of dollars. But because it’s me and I’m family, the expectation became that I’d do it for free and get the photos over as quickly as possible.
At the same time, I know if she asked me for a favor, I’d probably help her too. So now I’m wondering if I’m making this into something it isn’t.
This experience has made me realize that maybe I need to start treating my photography more professionally. I’m thinking about creating pricing, a simple contract, and standard policies, like delivery time, number of final edited photos, and no RAW files, even if I decide to discount or completely waive the fee for family. That way it’s my choice to gift the session instead of it just being assumed.
Am I wrong for feeling a little undervalued, or is this just something that naturally happens when you mix family and creative work?