u/Remarkable-Term-2654

Imagine you’ve been with someone for 3+ years and they are great in most ways, kind, plans dates, good family, will be a good dad, good job, helps around the house BUT

He’s an avoidant and often needs alone time to process and emotionally checks out and doesn’t often ask how you’re doing or shuts down in stressful situations… I just am so torn… I love him so deeply, but when he doesn’t check in or shuts down.. I feel so alone

Good example: two days ago I told him my results came back and I need a biopsy (pre cancerous cells found) - I told him fast because I was anxious all day to tell him… he hardy said anything back so I left… we didn’t talk all night.. next day, everything is fine for him and he’s asking to take me out.. I break down and say it hurts you didn’t ask about the biopsy? He felt terrible and said he’s so sorry… I said I still need some space.. next morning he’s fine happy as a clam, life goes on - still hasn’t asked me one question about when or why?…

A month ago we had a big talk about checking in more especially when life is rough (it’s rough rn in many emotionally taxing ways) - he said ok we will go on more dates, I said that’s not it… I’ve tried to explain it to him so many times and here we are again… in the same cycle…

Maybe time for therapy… or to leave? I’ve never been in a relationship this long I don’t know if I’m crazy or this is bad

TL:DR BF is good man - but emotionally absent at times

Imagine you’ve been with someone for 3+ years and they are great in most ways, kind, plans dates, good family, will be a good dad, good job, helps around the house BUT

He’s an avoidant and often needs alone time to process and emotionally checks out and doesn’t often ask how you’re doing or shuts down in stressful situations… I just am so torn