u/Responsible_Bass_813

When I was 19, my partner at the time (21) randomly, and very suddenly, decided to break up with me and confont me and tell me I had raped them multiple times and they were going to report me to the police. Our relationship wasn't perfect, of course, we were mentally ill kids with a lot of unprocessed trauma. We lashed out at each other, never really communicated healthily. But I did love them. I trusted them with my whole heart. I was dependent on them. When they accused me I believed them. I was sure I was this horrible monster they claimed I was. Even though I didn't remember it (I have amnesia anyway, so I assumed I had done it but just forgot) For years I've felt guilty and like a monster because there is no real way of knowing if I did or didn't do it. It made me suicidal. I felt like I deserve to live because I was dangerous. I still believe it sometimes.

I've had a lot or professional help since then. Two therapists and a bunch of support workers. I've talked to them about it and that helped a little bit but I still live with the shame, even though I didn't do it, it still hurts.

Hope Venting is OK sorry for the ramble

Night night

The same dog has been barking all day and I'm so tired of it. I'm an animal lover as much as anyone else, I blame the owners. If you don't know how to look after your dog please stop getting them. It sounded genuinely distressed too.

Hi! I know Brighton is overwhelmingly white but I am genuinely shocked I couldn't find any club nights or anything like that lol. Been getting into a lot of hip hop recently as a big music history nerd and would love to meet other fans but the only hip hop night I found is in Worthing. Any idea on where I can find them? Or anyone else into hip hop wanna be friends? 😛

Unhealthy coping mechanisms? I have them all. I abuse substances like weed and nicotine. I joke about my trauma (never anyone else's, just to be clear.) I write fanfiction about my favourite fictional characters going through my trauma. I have weird fetishes. I've been told everything. I've been told I'm normalising abuse. That I need my hard drive checking. That people get away with abuse because of jokes or problematic fiction. I am a victim of incestuous CSA and it took me 20+ years to remember it. I didn't have a support system to process it "normally." Other victims make me feel like I'm this horrible monster because of how I choose to cope. I don't know what else to do. Talking about it in therapy only made it worse. Medication only numbs it and pushes it down. I just feel so broken and alone I have no idea how else to cope but I've been made to feel like a monster. I already have OCD and intrusive thoughts telling me I'm a pedophile or a rapist and I should die, and this doesn't help.

Hi all! I tried googling it but couldn't find anything lol. I'm broke for the next week and I'm running out of food. I live alone so I don't need a lot. Can anyone recommend some good food banks open to everyone? Thank you ❤️