u/Responsible_Gap_6791

Hello, looking for some insights and opinions on the current tech job market in the UK, specifically for mid level / senior roles in the UK.

For context, I am currently a mid level based in Australia. My mental health has taken a toll due to a series of events in the past few months so I'm looking for a fresh start. I have an opportunity within my company to relocate to the UK.

My main hesitation right now is career momentum. I am currently quite close to a promotion to senior level, and I know that moving to a new country and team within the company will likely reset that timeline.

While I don't mind staying at the mid-level for a bit longer, I want to gauge the external market. What is the UK job market like for mid-level roles right now? If I make the move and find my growth stagnating, is it feasible to hop to another company as a mid-level? How does it compare to senior levels?

TL;DR:
Boyfriend invited an old crush to lunch → I felt uncomfortable → he initially dismissed my feelings and brought up our incompatibilities → later admitted he had some fleeting sexual thoughts and blocked her.
He thinks that should fix things. I’m still hurt and need emotional repair. He shows some effort (texts, seeing me more) but not in the ways I need (intentional dates, reassurance). He seems to be spending more time doing work. He also feels resentful about losing the friendship. I now feel insecure and not prioritised. Is this fixable?

Context:

My boyfriend (25M) and I (24F) have been together for 7 months now. He recently invited a girl he used to have a crush on to a one-on-one lunch at his office. For context, he often invites different people to his office for lunch (e.g. his mum’s friend, uni lecturer, close male/female friends) because he likes networking, so initially he saw this as normal.

When I found out, I felt uncomfortable and brought it up. We ended up having a fight because he said I was using his honesty (about this crush) against him and now he feels like he can't tell me everything, he also started to bring up about some recent incompatibilities between us.

A few days later, he admitted he initially felt defensive and “called out,” but acknowledged he did have fleeting sexual thoughts about her because she’s attractive. He said he can separate fantasy from reality and that he wants to be with me. I was at the verge of breaking up at that point so he eventually blocked her and we got back together.

After we got back together, he needed space for a few days and that caused me to breakdown from time to time from thinking about how he lusts for another girl while he is with me, so I communicated to him that I need more reassurance and effort from him.

To his credit, he has tried in some ways:
- he texts me more often saying he loves me and is thinking about me
- come to see me more often

But I'm still struggling:
- I asked for more intentional dates to feel special again
- He usually says "sure, lets go" but doesn't follow through
- Even when I send him ideas/places, he procrastinates actually planning or booking anything

Recently, I got frustrated at him again because the day after I told him I needed more intentional dates, I called him to talk about planning dates but he was just busy doing his work at 10 PM (he works 9-5) and then eventually moved on to doing his personal project at 11 PM.

He is quite a workaholic but I can't help but to feel frustrated that he isn't prioritizing me at the time I needed most, and especially right after a "forgiveness" where I expected more "active repair" actions for me to feel secure again and for the relationship to be back to normal again. I see how he can spend a whole weekend working extra hours for his 9-5 for free but could barely spend 2 hours planning for a date for me.

He told me that he has resentment towards me because he "lost a friendship" when the girl didn't do anything to deserve her getting blocked, and he expected me to be more appreciative / apologetic. He thought him blocking her was enough to get our relationship back to normal and didn't realise how much more I expected him to do. In my head, I thought this is such an audacious thing to think / say, that I should feel apologetic for him to be blocking the girl whom he emotionally cheated on me with???

Right now, I feel:
- I'm not emotionally safe
- I don't trust his internal boundaries
- I'm constantly questioning what he doesn't say

He feels:
- Resentful towards me
- He has done a lot for me and it's still not enough for me

Our relationship has otherwise been perfect so far considering how we have only been together for 7 months. We have always been super lovey-dovey. This is our first fight and it happened to be a really big one.

Is this relationship still fixable? Or is this incident a permanent damage?