Hi! I live in North Delhi, experienced something weird in a while. After continuos precipitation, when I went to roof for a walk, I experienced warm air?
The rain has not stopped completely, it is drizzling outside but still. Is this related to Urban Heat Island? Or Conditional Instability? I am confused as for this phenomena only these two things are prompting my mind rn.
Namaskar aau Jay Jagannath! I reckon everyone knows this song? If no I would highly recommend to listen to it, you’ll definitely like with this song.
Well coming back to the story. I was in college 2nd year when I fell in love with a girl and Oh my, she shined like a swan on a full moon night, her voice could kill thousand nightingales. I cannot describe in words how elegant she was, well guess who was lucky back then? Me, yes. ME. I eventually got into a romantic bond with her. We both had(have) a very vivid music taste. Born and brought up in Bangalore and Bhubaneswar, I was more into Western retro-classics and 70s bollywood songs, Odia songs were never my forte.
Until I met her, she made me listen to a few odia songs, starting from Akshaya Mohanty, Sekhar Ghosh to even Namita Agrawal (yes she was a little pious too) and even Mantu Churia and Aseema Panda lol. With time I started realising I have built a soft corner for Odia songs and I was really enjoying them. Infact, there were days I was hinged with Ollywood songs and almost forgot other genres.
For some reason, this song in particular touched my heart. “Sapana ra aara paari gaan, gori sethi lekha toro naa”, every-time these lyrics were prompted, my girl came to my mind. She introduced me to Odia song but I became a fan of it, maybe more than her. I listened to 1500 plus odia songs, even started listening to Odia bhajans and guess what? I wrote Odia poems and shayaris too.
But things changed in college fourth year. She realised she was sort of lesbian and had more interest for girls rather than me. My heart shattered into pieces but my love and respect for her was so deep, I was never able to utter “No” from my mouth when she asked me for something. With a heavy heart, I let her go, I loved her from every single cell of my body but her efforts weren’t anymore for me. We ended in a mutual and understanding note, but my love for her persisted. For my good, I blocked her from everywhere.
3 years later, I completed my P.G. in Ravenshaw and shifted to Delhi for PhD and part time job. Life got so hectic that I couldn’t give time to myself. Songs, which were an integral part of my life became invisible. Plus I grew a new hobby that is gaming. Like I was into gaming since I was a kid but that hobby was sort of ignored for a long time. As I said, My love persisted for her, I had to find a way to keep myself engaged, gaming helped me. Story games, fps shooters, visual novels always kept me hooked and thus I tried fading her out of my mind so I could move on.
Yeah back to present, in Delhi I was returning from my job and in metro I found a few odia people, they seemed to know each other and one of them was watching reels or videos in facebook idk, and then this song played.
“Sapana ra aara paari gaan, gori sethi lekha toro naa”
A weird sense of shivers went down all over my body. Was it nostalgia? Was it something which I wanted to avoid from a long time? Idk, it just happened. That 5-6 second of reel which I heard in metro gave me a flashback of past years, I accumulated tears in my eyes. As soon as I reached home, I dropped everything out of my body, laid in the bed and started listening to this song, plus other odia songs too. Ig for an hour or two, I was simply lying in my bed, nude(yes kinda weird but idk) and was listening to odia songs. Damn.
Then I went, took a bath and came to my study table. Instead of studying I finally decided to stalk HER id on instagram. And guess what, I did found her id and I was kinda surprised to see that it was public. And then my eyes went to the top pinned post. She was engaged with her partner and she was officially a lesbian couple. She shifted to Kolkata and was living there.
At this moment, Idk why but I cried out loudly. Idk why? Even now while I am writing this, I feel my heartbeat increasing. She was as beautiful as before, maybe she was even more, her eyes oh my, her lips…it was like I could still feel her lips on mine, her gentle hands but it had an engagement ring this time. Damn.
Well, then I got myself up and commented in her post
“Hey Sania, Rishu this side. Congratulations! So good to see you doing glorious in your life, I hope you have a happy married life! Cheers🥂”
After commenting, I quickly deleted Instagram, threw my phone away and with a shivering body, yesterday(yes it is very recent), I slept.
And here I am the very next morning, ranting out to you all. If and only if That reel had not appeared in that random man’s feed, I would have been busy with my life too. Well, just a reel of 5-6 seconds almost devastated me.
Ahh this is a pretty long post, if you’re reading till here. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO ME. Love you all! Take care everyone and have a nice day!
p.s. i am in search of a crown or tiara, lemme know if theres any which would suit me😄
A short summary- a beginner, humbled by the process and reality, needs guidance and support to survive the atmosphere and do well.
Hi! A very short introduction about me before I start. Yes this post can be a little long. I'm a 20 y/o guy from Odisha who just got shifted to New Delhi. I am an average student, coming from PCM background in 12th and B.A. in Geography. I just completed my graduation and secured 9 cgpa in my annual college scorecard. I belong to an very average middle class family with only one earning member in the house, I used to tutor students back then when I was in my hometown but dropped it in my 3rd year of graduation.
Now coming to the UPSC part of my post. My father sparked this thought to me in Late 2023 but initially I was very un-interested as I recently faced failure in NDA examination as I do not have a subtle grip over Mathematics. But initially after my father's request in early 2024 i decided to take a look on UPSC CSE, its syllabus, cut-offs etc etc. Initially I thought maybe I am not made for such a touch competitive environment. But eventually I saw some mock videos on youtube, syllabus introduction videos and strategies and then somewhere I felt like "Alright, I cannot simply surrender, I will give my best". I don't know if this was a good or bad decision of my life but I asked my father that I am ready for the exam and dived in. January-February 2025, I brought a G.S. Foundational course online from Drishti IAS and started preparing. After 2-3 months I lost the grip of regular classes because of college studies, college events, family matters etc but eventually I would give 2-3 hours every day just for the sake of completing classes and making notes (sometimes even just making notes blindly to avoid any sort of guilt).
Fast Forward to 2026, I appeared for CUET PG examination but could not score good marks for Delhi University or Banaras Hindu University (i scored 159/300). So now I was tensed. I talked with a cousin of mine and he said "ab jee jaan lagaa de UPSC keliye."
Yes that was the point I decided I would now dedicate my time for UPSC exam. My father agreed to support me in every step and eventually I am now landed in Delhi. I took a geography optional batch in Drishti IAS, and I am 2 weeks into serious preparation already.
But here is the thing. Every time I complete a chapter, read notes and get to solving questions, I never get a good or even decent accuracy rate. Like if there are 20 questions, I would make 6-7 correct, 5-6 incorrect and skip the rest. I don't really think so this accuracy rate is going to take me anywhere? UPSC CSE Prelims is knocking at the door, and I don't even have a year. I got serious and started reading each and every sentence of books so that I do not miss-out with even a single fact or information. But then, I saw the questions of Prelims 2026.
Therefore, I humbly beg and request the veteran and the once with experience in this field Please show me some light. I am genuinely concerned about myself and my future. Thank you. Your responses are highly appreciated
Hi! I recently found a mob spawner which was pretty close to surface, so to build a one-hit skeleton xp farm I build this classic model. But as you can see, its sticking out in a very ugly manner and surely stirring the beauty of that cherry biome as that color does not fit at all to cherry grove biome. I am very unsure how to cover up that build.
Henceforth, suggestions to decorate or overhaul this huge ugly tower is highly appreciated! Thank you, waiting for responses from y'all.
Hi! I recently found a mob spawner which was pretty close to surface, so to build a one-hit skeleton xp farm I build this classic model. But as you can see, its sticking out in a very ugly manner and surely stirring the beauty of that cherry biome as that color does not fit at all to cherry grove biome. I am very unsure how to cover up that build.
Henceforth, suggestions to decorate or overhaul this huge ugly tower is highly appreciated! Thank you, waiting for responses from y'all.
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