u/RileyDope

I just finished my baby registry and now I’m kinda second guessing if it’s too much

My husband’s sister actually saw it and said it’s not necessary / kinda a waste of money, so that made me spiral a bit and rethink everything.

It’s around 85 items, but honestly most are just basic newborn essentials + lower priced stuff. We skipped all the big-ticket nursery items since we’re planning to buy those ourselves.

It’s mostly FTM essentials for a LO including bottles, bottle washer, diaper stuff, swaddles, bath, feeding, some PP items etc. I also added a few cute things so people can kinda get our vibe.

We’ve got ~90 guests for the baby shower but now I feel weird sending it out lol. Like I don’t want to seem greedy or like I’m expecting too much

First baby, so we’re literally starting from zero and figuring it all out as we go. What baby items are must-haves for you?

nine years of migraine. nine years of the invisible management.

the public version of my life looks mostly normal. i show up. i function. i do the things.

the private version: i track my sleep, my hydration, my food timing, my stress, my light exposure, my screen time, my alarm sound, my morning routine, my barometric pressure app, my caffeine intake to the hour.

i manage an enormous invisible system every day specifically to prevent things that other people never have to think about.

the exhaustion isn't just the attacks. the exhaustion is the constant management. the vigilance. the optimization. the knowing that one wrong variable can cost two days.

i changed my alarm to a gradual fade-in as part of this system. it sounds so small. it is part of an enormous invisible architecture of small things that keep the attacks from being more frequent than they are.

nobody sees the architecture. they see me showing up.

i don't want sympathy. i just want someone to know that the management is real work. that showing up costs something. that the normal-looking surface has an invisible maintenance system running underneath it constantly.

if you're doing this too, i see the work even if nobody else does.