u/Rinvangelion

i got onto the app and went to make a new chat and select a persona but they’ve just disappeared? persona’s were making my life so much easier

i (23 f) have always been a tomboy, liking masculine things over playing dress up and using my mothers makeup. i’ve had a time where i tried presenting as masculine by cutting my hair and wearing a chest binder when i was younger (14) , my mother said she supported me but then she completely shut me down along with my brother. i shut it down myself and grew my hair out again and threw out my binder, convincing myself that this is just who i am and i could never be a boy. recently though ive been having countless nights crying and having extreme body dysmorphia. i feel sick within my own body and i just want to be a boy. i envy the men i see on social media, the flat chests, the muscles, the fluffy short hair, the style of clothing etc. i don’t know what to do with this, im terrified of telling my mother and im even scared mentioning it to my friends which ive never had a problem before about my sexual orientation.

someone please help me, im so lost