I am so confused by real event. My erp therapist seems to want to be moving toward emdr route, but if I'm to blame, generally speaking, why are they suggesting this? And if I do it - and it unlocks something, then it's even more confusing. I can't get closure, everyone thinks I'm a lying bitch already.
I've started ERP for (10 year old) real event ocd. It's definitely been a complete change in terms of the process, previously I'd tried a tonne of person centered talk therapy, and made minimal to backward progress.
My current therapist seems very clear on the process and the staggered approach they're planning on to build up the treatment which is reassuring. Though, I am a bit perplexed by starting RP without them knowing the ins-and-outs of my obsessions. What if we get further down the therapy road and they're like - Jesus fucking christ you nutjob, we should have done the content 1st - I had a totally different expectation!
I'm trying to trust in the process and catch myself when I start spiraling and ruminating (which isn't something I would have even considered doing before.) But it feels so wrong - like I'm letting myself off the hook, letting other people off the hook, and basically pretending like it not important...up until we do discuss the content and it turns out to be important. Is the aim to desensitise myself - until I'm able to think about it again?